Many wives have never seriously considered sharing their man with another woman or for them to be with another man. Swinging and non-monogamy is usually a foreign idea that can take a good bit of time to understand. If you want to get your wife to swing, you will want to carefully explain to her the advantages of swinging and why you are interested in swinging.
Your wife is likely going to have many reservations and worries. That is normal, so be extra understanding even if it tests your patience. Swinging is likely a very new idea to her and you have probably already researched it a good bit so give her time and space to catch up. You may feel that variety is the spice of life but she might not be ready to see it that way. When it comes to activities that take place in the bedroom, some ladies can find it rather difficult to talk about. So how do you start an open & honest discussion with your wife about non-monogamy and reasons for swinging? Here are some the ways in you can introduce this to your wife:
Every relationship can improve their communication and trust including yours. As the saying goes, we have two ears and one mouth – so we should listen twice as much as we talk. Listen to your wife and work with her. Not just about swinging but about everything going on in your married life. The kids, work, home repairs, everything. Having solid communication will open up your opportunity to bring up things that interest you like swinging and living a sexier lifestyle.
Fantasize with Adult Movies
Adult movies can be very helpful in bringing up the swinging topic as a non threatening fantasy. Choose an adult movie focused on swinging portrayed in a positive light and combines other porn themes that she enjoys. It doesn’t even have to be porn. Playboy TV produced a great reality TV show called Swing. If you Google “Playboy Swing TV” you can find free episodes online. These hour long episodes do a good job showing how real life people enter into the swinging lifestyle and deal with real emotions. As you are watching these adult movies, you can ask her if she wants to role play a swinging scenario. Role play does not mean she is or is not open to swinging. This is just about introducing the general concept and starting a longer ongoing discussion about it.
If she doesn’t like porn, don’t worry there are plenty of Hollywood movies and TV shows that All you have to do is get a movie you know she will find interesting and initiate a chat about the swinging story line. While choosing the movie, make sure the movie is about is honest about swinging and not a melodramatic Hollywood misrepresentation. After the movie, you can begin explaining to her your interest in swinging and how you think it can help improve your sexy relationship. Don’t push hard. Small steps with no pressure will be much more appreciated. No spouse likes to feel pressured or coerced so stay patient.
When you are trying anything new, it should be done slowly especially when it is something as sensitive as introducing your wife to the swinging lifestyle. The moment you introduce the topic of swinging to her, don’t expect her to begin swinging just like that. Take things slowly. Only move as fast as the comfort level of the slowest person. After you have introduced the idea, arrange a follow-up. Take her out to dinner and enjoy yourselves but don’t bring up swinging. You want to reinforce your loving relationship. After your dinner date, you can bring up the topic again and ask about her concerns. Focus on her feelings and questions. Then start working together to research the options. Swinging is not a great idea for every couple so work together to figure out if it is a good idea for your relationship.
There are many great swinger resources that you can use to get a taste of the swinging lifestyle before ever opening up your own relationship. You can read a swinger book together and touch in after each chapter to share your thoughts. You can also listen audio podcasts by swingers sharing their real life experiences so you can learn from them and understand the many different options in the swinging lifestyle.
As part of your ongoing discussion and research, you can offer to go to a swinger Meet & Greet. These are social networking events with no onsite sexy play. This is a good opportunity to talk with real swingers about what worked and didn’t work for them and learn from someone with swinging experience. Swinger couples are very friendly and generally like to help curious new couples. Your wife will also have the opportunity to ask questions with real swinger wives that shared the same questions and concerns she is currently feeling.
After all of this, your wife may not be currently ready to start swinging. Relax!!! If you overreact, you are going to kill your chances of this ever happening. Continue to be understanding and supportive. It is very common for some wives & yes, also some husbands to take over a year before they finally feel comfortable with swinging. Continue to love and support your amazing wife. The more secure she feels in your relationship, the easier it will be for her to open her mind to non-monogamy and the swinging lifestyle. Remember, you can never be too patient when it comes to your wife.
PS Don’t think it is only the wife that needs convincing. Often they are the first ones to discover the swinging concept and it is they need to introduce their husband to swinging. Each couple is unique. Just focus on loving and supporting your special someone in the way they most need it.