It’s easy to focus on the wild sex of the swinging world. Many people incorrectly assume swingers are crazy nymphomaniacs. We won’t lie, the sex is awesome but there’s a lot more to the lifestyle than just sex. In fact, many swingers find sex comes second to being part of a welcoming and inclusive community. The lifestyle is much more about enjoying life by sharing new experiences with your loved one and making awesome new friends.
Some people who have been in the lifestyle for years never take the step of having sex with other people. They participate in the lifestyle just for the fun friendships at sexy parties where they can let loose and not be judged. Some are nudists and others just appreciate an environment where people can show a bit of skin without being judged. The flirting and foreplay is enough excitement for them.
It just isn’t easy to find good friends when you become an adult.
Most of the people you meet as an adult are friendly acquaintances rather than close friends. You might be friendly with the parents at your school, or friendly towards your coworkers. These people rarely become real friends. In the swinging community, you can make great new friends and share a real connection. Many swingers prefer to do fun vanilla things together and build a four-way connection before having any sexy play time. Swinging has given us a great collection of friends that we can meet for dinner dates, concerts, pool parties and much more. We have gained many trusted friends that we would never have discovered without swinging.
Of course, there are people in the lifestyle that definitely enjoy swapping sex partners (like us). You might be thinking that these people are swingers just for the sex. Think again.
Let’s forget about swinging for a little bit and imagine you and your partner have planned a white water rafting trip through the Grand Canyon. It’s easy to see how such an exciting shared experience can make your relationship stronger and bring you closer.
It starts with the two of you looking forward to the trip, and the shared anticipation uniting you together. Then, the teamwork involved to successfully navigate through the flowing river would pull you even closer together. Finally, the excitement of the stupendous view of the Grand Canyon as you share this experience would give you memories to keep you close for a long time moving forward. This is actually very much like swinging. You’ll prepare for each swinging event together. You’ll use teamwork to optimally navigate the sexy lifestyle in the way you both want. Finally, you’ll both have an amazing, shared, sexy experience with new friends.
As we said, amazing sex is a huge benefit of being a swinger. You can live out your sexiest fantasies; who doesn’t want that? Foreplay for swingers can be sexier than the actual event for vanilla couples! Play partners can teach you new tricks to use at home, so your private sexy time is even hotter. Communication about what you like and don’t like comes naturally for swingers, so your partner will grow very in tune with your wants and desires. Better sex can really help you enjoy a stronger bond in your more important relationship.
It’s hard to explain how making a physical connection with other people outside our marriage has forged a stronger emotional bond between us, but it’s true: our relationship is stronger than ever since we started swinging. We share and open up more than we did in our vanilla only life. We were already pretty good at reading each other’s body language, but since we started swinging we can just about read each other’s minds (most of the time). We know that swinging is a risky venture for any relationship, so there is motivation to work even harder to boost our trust and communication. It is an amazing feeling to see your loved one become even more sexy, help each other have earth-shattering moments, and then go home to relive those sexy memories in private.
Swinging can also provide a huge ego boost. Compliments from your loved one can grow stale or lack conviction because you’ve heard it all before. When new people compliment you, and show desire for you, you can’t help but feel good about yourself. Hearing about how sexy you look in an outfit or being complimented on a special skill you have can boost your ego for days, and self-confidence is a huge part of a happy, healthy life – in the vanilla world, in your relationship, and in the lifestyle.
So, why do people swing? The simplest answer is because it’s fun. There are more complicated answers that tend to bring up the debate about whether monogamy is natural. Only 9% of mammal species are monogamous, and 84% of indigenous societies were polygamous before Western civilization got involved. But you don’t have to know those facts or debate monogamy to be a swinger. You just have to love and trust your partner, know that you can communicate with each other, and consensually agree about how to have your fun. Swingers know that consenting adults can make decisions about what is right for your relationship, regardless of societal norms.
Swinging is a wild ride! You can have some truly memorable and exciting moments in the lifestyle. That three-way make out session your vanilla friend had in college might not seem so thrilling once you’ve had a six-way sexcapade that left you simultaneously exhausted and eager for more!
The reasons for swinging are as varied as the people in the lifestyle. Obviously, there is great sex but there is also friendship, community, understanding and so many other benefits available from this welcoming community.