Do swingers hire paid escorts?
We do not have any personal experience with paid sex workers. Our ideal lifestyle connections are closer to a “friends with benefits” situation, but we know that is only one approach. Though we haven’t enlisted their services ourselves, we have met sex workers who are amazing people and have heard more than a few times that the experiences they provide are worth every penny.
You might connect paid sex workers with many negative images based on how you grew up and past social norms. Society has constantly been telling us that non-monogamy is always wrong, that all drugs, including marijuana, are the devil’s trick, and that paying for sex is horrible and extremely dangerous. Well, you probably already have figured out that non-monogamy isn’t always bad and that marijuana won’t make you go insane. So maybe hiring a professional sex worker isn’t the worst thing either?
What is the appeal of hiring sex workers?
All swingers are different, so they will have different reasons based on their own personal situation. Here are some of the more common reasons why some swingers may choose to hire a sex worker, in no particular order…
- It can be too hard to find a single person for a threesome. Single ladies are called unicorns for a reason. And a lot of single men who want to be in the lifestyle suffer from stage fright or act horribly (like confusing cuckolding with swinging). So going with a vetted escort can remove those headaches for a swinging couple.
- Sex workers (especially the upscale ones) generally take their health seriously. It is literally their livelihood at stake, so they tend to be very careful with safer sex practices and regular STI testing. An upscale sex worker can be safer than meeting up with a casual swinger couple who takes risks and is lax with their testing. Let’s not forget that a swinger survey found 3% of swingers don’t use condoms and do not get tested for STIs.
- Logistically it can be easier. If a couple has a hectic schedule (juggling work, family, housework, etc.), they can call in an escort when it works best for them. They don’t need to waste time trying to match up busy schedules. Sex workers will accommodate a couple’s busy life and meet where and when the couple wants.
- Couples can struggle to find someone attractive to both of them. Escorts tend to be better looking, in shape, and know how to perform in bed. Switching over to the paid side can save a lot of effort and offers good odds of great play.
- Husbands might be embarrassed about being bisexual and want to keep it a secret from swinger friends. Or perhaps not embarrassed but have trouble finding another bisexual man that appeals to both him & his wife. Or maybe it is the lady that is bisexual but doesn’t enjoy reciprocating. Choosing a sex worker would allow bisexual swingers to enjoy themselves exactly how they want without any of the parts they don’t enjoy.
- Connecting with a sex worker is another taboo thing to check off the sex bucket list. Swingers generally like new & different experiences. If they have never been with an escort, it can feel safer to try it together. So why not make another sex fantasy a reality for themselves?
- Guaranteed to be how they want. When a couple hires an escort, they can request exactly how they want it to occur and expect their wishes to be followed. If a swinger couple is worried about emotional attachments or boundaries being crossed, like a no kissing rule not being honored, then a sex worker can make sense. Paid escorts will deliver what you want in precisely the way you want it. They are there for the client’s enjoyment, so they are happy to follow specific instructions.
- Boredom. If a couple lives in a rural area with few swingers, they can become bored with their available play partners. Adding paid escorts, allows them to enjoy more options with their non-monogamy. Many high-end escorts do tours around the country, so there is a never-ending supply of variety at the ready.
- A simple solution to worries about jealousy. Bringing in an amateur can be scary to people wanting to explore swinging. A professional sex worker can be seen as a safe option for the relationship. The couple isn’t paying for the escort to arrive. They are paying for the escort to leave when they are done. Choosing a paid sex worker keeps the non-monogamy on a strictly business level and can avoid an emotional mess.
How to Hire a Sex Worker
All of those are good reasons why swingers might choose a paid escort. If any of these reasons are making you consider hiring a paid sex worker, keep reading. You want to learn how to properly handle this interaction. Here are the most common pitfalls you will need to navigate…
- Legality – Not all places have made sex work legal. You don’t want to be arrested so only hire a paid escort where it is legal. It is legal in Canada, many European countries, and in Nevada, USA (but not Las Vegas).
- Screening – Not all sex workers are good or professional. Joining a website like The Erotic Review (TER) will allow you to search vetted escorts and read actual reviews so you can find the right escort for what you desire (bisexual play, specific roleplay, fetishes, etc.). This is very helpful as not all escorts are open to couple experiences or experienced with it. Hiring a professional escort with good reviews from couples helps ensure you’ll be smiling at the end of the night. Once you find an escort on TER, they can verify your profile, so other escorts know you are a trusted client.
- Health & Safety – Professional sex workers take their livelihood seriously, but people in desperate situations sometimes turn to prostitution and make poor health choices. You can avoid worrying about health & safety by making sure you use verified and vetted escorts that have good reviews or using an escort agency with a solid reputation. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Keep your guard up & don’t be afraid of asking questions. Legitimate escorts are proud of their precautions and safeguards.
- Privacy – Use common sense. Better to meet first at a public place like a hotel bar instead of inviting a stranger into your home. Many of the better escorts will host you at their place, but that carries risks too. Do not use your work email or phone line when reaching out to a sex worker (sad, but we need to say it). Keep your sexy life compartmentalized to protect your privacy. Again, stick with verified escorts who don’t take risks.
- Cost – Don’t be cheap. If you want all of the benefits of a professional, be ready to pay a professional rate. We all love good deals, but this is not the place to be clipping coupons. If you choose the cheapest option, expect to pay the difference in headaches and trouble. A professional escort can cost $300-$1000+ per hour. Be prepared to pay a little extra if you are a couple (entertaining both of you is more work). If you become a regular client, you might be offered better rates but be prepared to pay for quality. Also, don’t blindly pick the most expensive one. Make sure to read reviews otherwise, you could be paying top dollar for mediocre service.
- Ethics – Sex work is a complicated topic. Many have been coerced into it or been taken advantage of by others. It is not a simple black & white issue. Sticking with professional escorts will avoid many of these ethical potholes, but you’ll have to rely on your own moral compass at the end of the day.