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You are here: Home / Swinging Basics / Voyeurism & Exhibitionism as Entry to the Lifestyle

Voyeurism & Exhibitionism as Entry to the Lifestyle

Attending a swinger party does not mean you have an obligation to have sex with a stranger. Or to have sex, period. For some people, just being in the sexy atmosphere is a thrill. For others, the atmosphere serves as lubrication.  Many different sexual fantasies come to life at swinger parties, and some of them do not involve participating in consensual non-monogamy. Some people are lifetime voyeurs or exhibitionists, while others enjoy this kind of action early in their lifestyle journey as they evaluate whether swinging is right for their relationship. So if you are wondering if it is okay to attend a swinger party when you have no intention of swinging, don’t worry. You can relax, enjoy a drink, participate in lively conversation, and be yourself without fear of being judged. The lifestyle is very welcoming of different types of swinging. Even if no one else shares your particular fantasies, swingers are unlikely to look down on you for sharing them.

Besides just sharing your sexy fantasies, feelings, and ideas, you can share your sexy body without physically engaging. Hot, skin-baring outfits are common – so is not wearing an outfit at all and being bare! You may see two ladies take their tops off to compare breasts – you’re allowed to enjoy this because boobs are fun and sexy. As more people go topless and people grow more comfortable, you might see other couples going fully nude or even having sex. While you should try not to gawk or ogle, you can certainly appreciate and enjoy the sexy atmosphere around you. Things will probably get even hotter, and you may have to control your instinct to stare as the party ramps up beyond your expectations. Try to keep your jaw off the ground! If you and your partner are really excited, you can do your own public display of affection. The hotter your performance, the more likely others are to ask if they can join. If you don’t want to swap, say so.  Most people will understand if you wish to have a hot and sexy time with your own partner.

Being an exhibitionist in the lifestyle is an excellent way to ease into it and test the waters with a low risk of jealousy from swinging.  Be smart and do what works best for you at the pace that is right for you.  Many newbies eventually find that being a voyeur or exhibitionist isn’t satisfying enough when they are at a swinger party, so check in with your partner and see if you both want to take it to the next level.  Maybe you both decide you like being “dirty vanillas” or “non-swinging swingers,” and perhaps you both decide you want to be more like full swap swingers.  Whatever you decide and call yourself is fine as long as you both agree and are honest about it.  Just make sure to respect and honor the rules of the swinger party you are attending.  Each swinger party host has slightly different rules and different boundaries of what is okay in public and what should be behind closed doors

The swinging community appreciates the voyeurs and exhibitionists in our ranks.  We want to be very clear that swingers are not here to entertain you.  If you are looking for a hot sex show, check out the swingers on webcam sites.  It is expected that everyone at a swinger party or event is mature enough to have mutual respect.  Sure, you can feel nervous or uncertain about your comfort level.  That is fine.  What isn’t okay is treating a swinger party like a private zoo for your personal viewing pleasure.  Remember to be respectful of others and give back to the sexy atmosphere in some way.  In other words: don’t be a creep, and it will all be cool.

Last Updated: February 28, 2022
Written By:Dr. Georgia

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Welcome to Swingers Help! We’re Dr. Georgia & Will Fuchs, a married couple who have been enjoying our swinging time through the consensual non-monogamy community. Our experience hasn’t been perfect or drama-free but we don’t regret at all making the decision to start swinging. To share our swinging enjoyment, we authored the top ranked Swingers’ Little Helper book and provide free videos, articles, games, & relationship exercises on this site.  Join us as we share our insights on the swinging lifestyle.

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