Your significant other may have approached you to confess their desire to fulfill their hotwife fantasy. Maybe you’re on the fence and are worried about how it will affect your relationship or are hesitant because you don’t know what’s involved. If you’ve never explored any non-monogamy before, it can feel like a big step! But couples that regularly participate in hotwife play rave about the positive impact it’s had on their relationship, and it’s much more common than you may realize. Make no mistake, there are also people who discover it doesn’t work for them, but if you consider these basic tips, hotwife play can be a fantastic way to inject some excitement into your marriage.
Get Into It For the Right Reasons
If you have relationship problems before adventuring into the non-monogamous lifestyle, it will only heighten them. Don’t expect this to fix something that is broken, like a bad marriage. Non-monogamy is only effective in making a strong relationship even stronger. If your significant other only agrees to do it because you’re interested and feel like they’re sacrificing their comfort, then it’s not worth it. Give them space to consider the idea and decide whether it’s something they’d be comfortable with. As with all exploration of non-monogamous relationships, there’s no going back once it’s done, so it’s crucial to ensure everyone will have a good time.
Create Some Boundaries
First, ask yourselves how involved both parties want to be. Will the husband help select his wife’s partners? Will he be in the room when they have sex? It’s key to understand what everyone’s expectations are going in. Some couples work together to meet a partner online that they both approve of. Others go to bars together where the husband can watch his wife flirt and seduce another man. Some hot wife relationships operate solely on the expectation that the wife will relay all the details after the fact, but the husband is not present for any of the interactions. Discuss what works for you (which may change as you become more experienced), and then stick to a set of swinging rules so that everyone’s wishes are clear and respected.
Some common rules might include:
- Practice safe sex, always wear a condom
- No doing things with other men that you won’t do with your husband
- If feelings develop, it’s time to walk away
- Never sleep with the same man twice
- The husband has to give permission before the wife can engage in sex with someone
- No sex with another man in the main bedroom
- No friends or colleagues
But it’s really up to you to design the rules that work best for your situation.
Keep Everyone Involved
It’s often men who suggest exploring this fantasy though many women also introduce it! The men often want to be active participants in the process. Simply knowing that your wife is out there sleeping with other men usually isn’t as exciting as seeing it with your own eyes. Husbands think their wives are the sexiest person in the world, and what is hotter than seeing the sexiest person in the world have sex? It can be fun and bring you closer together as you jointly work to create an online profile and get ready for a date or night out searching for a potential partner. Many men also like to be involved in choosing what kind of man he wants for his wife or the jewelry and outfit she wears on a date.
Hotwife is similar, but not it is not the same as a cuckold situation. Many husbands in hotwife situations have a super proud perspective and a boastful-like feeling that their wife is so sexy and desired by others. Hotwife situations can be empowering as it enables the female to explore her sensuality and reinforce the male’s feeling of being the luckiest man in the world for being married to such an amazing woman. This is why it is common for husbands to want to be involved with the hotwife scenarios.
Stay Open and Honest
If there’s something you want or something that you’re uncomfortable with, voice your opinion. This is a two-way street and can only balance when both parties communicate. Being transparent about the communication between the wife and another man (sometimes called a bull) is an important aspect of keeping the husband involved. Don’t assume it’s impossible to cheat in a non-monogamous relationship. Lying and hiding information can still result in feelings of betrayal and distrust, which could have the whole thing come crumbling down. The husband should have the option to see any correspondence with bulls, and hey – he may even take pleasure in reading dirty texts – that’s just another part of the fun! If feelings ever start to develop in a relationship with another man, it’s time to walk away. Even if the feelings are only on the other end, it will only cause stress in your relationship with your husband.
Stay in Control
If you need a little alcohol to calm your nerves, especially the first time, then it’s reasonable to have a drink first. But being drunk prevents you from thinking clearly and creates a greater margin for error, where lines might be crossed, and rules might be broken. If you need to be wasted to go through with it, you’re probably not ready. Make your intentions very clear to the third party and your husband. It’s not fair to them, and it puts you in an awkward position if they don’t understand the limitations of your relationship.
As previously mentioned, it’s a good rule of thumb to practice safe sex in any non-monogamous situation. Even if you’re careful, it’s wise to be tested for STIs every few months, so you’re not responsible for spreading anything to your partner or your bulls.
You can join the swinger site popular in your area to find play partners. These sites will have real single men open to meeting a hotwife. You can look at their pictures and even read reviews from other swinger couples to ensure the single man is a good match for what you seek. These sites offer a free trial. To unlock all the features, you will need to upgrade to the paid version. Honestly, it’s the intelligent choice. For the cost of a Starbucks coffee, you can meet single men experienced with hotwifing and have trusted reviews from other couples.
With any online dating or going home with strangers from the bar, be careful and make sure you trust the person you’ve chosen. You have an advantage with a husband who is aware and supportive of your dating, so send him the address of where you’re going and stay in contact so that if something goes wrong, he’ll be able to help. Follow basic guidelines like never leaving your drink unattended, never going directly to a stranger’s home, and not hopping into a random van just because he says it’s filled with puppies.
It’s About the Two of You
Depending on your preferences and how you design your sexy scenario, the third party in a hotwife situation doesn’t really play much into the emotional or planning side. Hotwife play is for the fun of a husband and wife and should be supercharging your sexual chemistry together and not just relying on other men for satisfaction. Most couples confirm that hot wife play strengthens their relationship emotionally and physically, and if you’re doing it right, you’ll not be able to keep your hands off each other.