When people talk about opening up their relationship and experimenting with swinging they often worry about jealousy. Today we are going to talk about the opposite feeling – compersion. It might not be as well known but you have probably already experienced this feeling. Compersion is the joy you vicariously feel when your loved one is enjoying themselves.
Have you ever given a great gift to your loved one and felt happy about giving that experience to them? That is compersion. It feels good when we make our special someone happy. Why wouldn’t we want to make our loved ones happy? They want the same for us.
Compersion is not limited to swingers or monogamous couples. This feeling can be experienced by any person that likes to take care of their loved one. Compersion is a sign of a healthy & loving relationship and isn’t that something we all really want. Regardless if we are swingers or monogamous, at the end of the day our ultimate priority is our own loving relationship with our special someone.
Defusing Jealousy
If you are thinking about becoming a swinger, you might want to reinforce your compersion feelings as an insurance policy against the dangerous feelings of jealousy. Let’s be honest – we are all jealous to one degree or another. It is a natural feeling. Instead of hiding or ignoring this negative feeling, we should address it. Disarm those negative triggers of jealousy and replace them with more productive feelings of compersion. Instead of focusing too much on negativity, life can be much nicer when we focus on the positive aspects. So ask yourself why did your mind lead you to feel jealousy? Did it remind you of a mistake in your past? Did you worry about not having control or doubt something? To defuse these jealous feelings, you should share these fears with your special someone. Making them aware of the fears will give them the opportunity to reassure you and avoid actions that might trigger them. Being aware of the situation enables your special someone to share extra affection to defuse the negative doubts. The more light you shine onto your anxiety & fear, the smaller it can become.
Fostering Compersion
To increase your feelings of compersion, you can focus on the more productive activities in your life. Let’s go back to the basics you learned in kindergarten – remembering to say thank you. When a couple has been together for a long time they can start to take for granted some basic politeness in their relationship like remembering to show gratitude. We don’t want to accidentally take for granted our special someone. When they do something nice for us, we want to clearly communicate our gratitude. This helps to remind them of the joy that they are creating in our life and how much we value them. This basic action will help you both build up pride in taking care of each other. That pride of loving one another is a key part to compersion. No matter how busy life may become, make sure to always remind your loved one how much you value their help.
Life is hard enough and there is enough stress as we all juggle our relationship, family and work commitments. Why not make your life easier and focus on the positive aspects? Defuse the jealous feelings and grow your pleasure from compersion. The more we take care of each other, the happier we can be. You don’t need to be swinger to benefit from compersion. Just be your regular loving self and continue to do your best job taking care of each other. It is safe to say that life is so much better loving and being loved.