Swingers like to joke that it’s called the “lifestyle” because it can take over your life. Having fun with your swinger friends can take up all your free time, and even steal time from other responsibilities if you aren’t careful. What takes up so much time?
Swingers want to make sure we maintain our sexiness, so we spend a lot of time going to the gym and working out. We want a sexy body, but we really want great fitness so we can keep up with those hours-long sex marathons that can keep us up until sunrise. We also spend a lot of time pampering ourselves with haircuts, manicures, pedicures, hair removal, facials, and anything else that makes us feel good and look sexy good. Even guys spend time pampering themselves, because smart swinger guys know that looking great leads to sexier playtime – and don’t we all want more sexy playtime?
Many swingers have an online profile, and some have multiple online profiles on different websites. We need to check these profiles every day, or at least once every few days, so we can quickly respond to messages from other interested swingers. You can be as active or inactive as you like online, but the more you participate on swinger websites, the more chances you have of making sexy connections. Once we do make a new connection with another friendly swinger, we can spend a lot of time talking on the phone, texting or chatting via kik with our new swinger friends.
There are real-life swinger events just about every day and night, even during the week. Most of the events happen on the weekends, and for most swingers there is a busy social calendar to manage. You can easily keep yourself busy signing up for a hotel takeover, or going to a swinger club, or having fun at a house party, or going on a private date, or taking a weekend off and staying home with your favorite person.
Time Saving Tips
So how can you manage all of this without going crazy? Divide and conquer!
The swinger lifestyle really does improve communication, and not just when it comes to feelings and issues. It’s really invigorating to chat with your partner about which naughty event you’re going to enjoy the most. Having so many enjoyable options to choose from is a really nice problem to have!
We suggest setting some limits early on, so you don’t become overwhelmed. Some veteran swinger couples will go out every week, and sometimes even attend multiple parties in a weekend. This doesn’t mean they are playing at every event, it just means they like attending sexy swinger parties, making new friends, and reconnecting with old friends. The lifestyle is a great way for adults to make a new batch of non-judgmental friends.
If you are new, you might only want to go out once or twice a month. This way you have plenty of time for your vanilla activities. More importantly, you have plenty of time to reflect and debrief with each other after each new step into the lifestyle.
After you figure out what limits work for you, it’s usually helpful for the guy to become the caretaker of your online profile. Guys: it sounds like fun, and it is, but it isn’t all fun. You are going to be the gatekeeper to prevent creepers and picture-collectors away from your sexy lady. Ladies, you should still participate by taking sexy pictures and adding some information in your own words, so other couples can get a good sense of your personality. For many ladies, that is the extent of their participation online. If a couple contacts your online profile, the male half usually handles the initial screening before getting his better half involved in the decision-making process.
Ladies, just because your man is babysitting the online profile doesn’t mean you have nothing to do. Many ladies in the lifestyle take care of the social calendar, which can be very tricky. You need to juggle work time, family time, vanilla commitments, and swinging parties. Sometimes we wish rocket scientists could help us figure out our schedules, because there are too few hours and too many sexy swinger events!
Alienating Old Vanilla Friends
Many first-time swingers find themselves dealing with angry vanilla friends. You used to always be available, and now your vanilla friends are having trouble arranging time with you. They don’t know it’s because you’re busy attending all of these awesome lifestyle parties. Scheduling time for your vanilla friends on a Sunday morning can be a bad idea, because you can find yourself leaving a sexy Saturday night swinger event around 3AM. Be careful with that social calendar as you juggle everything.
Most importantly, you should make sure to schedule private time for just the two of you. As much fun as you both have in the lifestyle, it is important to reconnect with each other. You want to be reminded how lucky you both are to enjoy such a great life together. As much as we may enjoy the novelty of a new play partner, a swinger’s ultimate pleasure comes from sharing these temporary experiences with their all-time favorite partner.