We aren’t all fast-paced city dwellers with a ton of sex clubs at our doorstep. A lot of fun-loving swingers live in more rural areas where everyone knows everyone else including their mother, father and great-grandmother.
There are a lot of benefits to living in more rural areas. But the charms of small town living can come with small town views, which tend to be more conservative compared to those in urban areas. For this reason, hotwifing in these areas might need to be handled differently. Your selection might be limited and privacy can be harder to find.
Protecting Your Privacy
Rest assured, you can still have your sexy fun. We just suggest taking a few precautions to help make sure your private life stays private. If you don’t want everyone you know finding out about what you do behind closed doors, you should talk with your partner about which of these privacy safeguards are best for your situation. Do this before you start participating in lifestyle activities whether it is stag/vixen hotwifing, inviting a bull into your bedroom with your cuckold husband present, or heading out to meet one on your own.
In addition to ironing out details with your partner, you should make sure your new play friends agree to these precautions before meeting up. You don’t want your secret accidentally exposed by anyone.
There is a bigger chance in small towns that your play partners will know someone you know. It is likely they want to be just as discreet as you but always ask and never assume anything. If they are more open about their lifestyle than you are, there may be the risk that afterwards they will gossip or slip up accidentally. It is up to you to be clear that you aren’t willing to have your lifestyle exposed and make a decision about whether or not you think they are trustworthy and reliable.
If there are local clubs or parties, there is a higher probability that someone there who is out in the open about their lifestyle may see you there and could speak about you with others. There is generally an unspoken code of honor between lifestylers and a lot of them will be in the same position as you where they want their privacy upheld. Nevertheless, it only takes one bad apple to ruin a good barrel of fun. it might be safer to drive a longer distance to a lifestyle club farther away for some extra privacy insurance.
Staying Safe Online
Going to large swinger clubs and parties can be worrisome so you might prefer to check out your online dating options. There are lots of dedicated lifestyle sites specifically for this purpose so you can browse around until someone catches your eye. This will likely cost you a few dollars each month for more privacy and peace of mind than you tend to get with free profiles. These sites tend to vary by region so make sure you join the most popular site for your local area unless you like to waste your money. If you do like to waste your money, feel free to send us a nice bottle of tequila for sharing these rural hotwifing tips :).
Stay away from the vanilla dating sites and apps and any free site that seems too good to be true. Yes, they have more profiles but they are much less likely to be open to non-monogamy and more likely to gossip about you being online. The free sites are loaded with troublemakers because it is free to join and some people like to steal naughty pictures. This is why we prefer sites with paywalls.
For extra security, don’t post a face picture on any dating site. Include body-only images with nothing identifying in the background or on you (like your one-of-a kind jewelry or tattoo). After you make a match and send a few messages back & forth, you can privately send them a face picture later if you choose.
Set up a separate phone line using Google Voice (a nifty free service) or join KIK for anonymous texting. You can pick up a new burner phone as an additional precaution, but we think Google Voice is good enough separation and it is a free service. Create a separate email account, so your hotwife accounts never cross over into your vanilla world. Don’t reuse any image from Facebook or other social media account. When filling out your online profile, use a town that is close but different from yours. Also consider slightly adjusting your personal details to make it harder for someone to trace the profile back to you. Keep everything compartmentalized to protect your privacy. A little paranoia can be very helpful for small town privacy.
Real Life Spy Meetings
If you are going to meet someone new, it’s best to meet in a public place first to make sure they are who they say they are and that you have good chemistry. Bars and restaurants are great for initial meetings. We have a friend who always meets new people at the coffee shop inside a local bookstore. Let someone you trust know where you are at all times. If your new friend lives far away, you can arrange a video chat with them to ensure they are real before committing to a long drive to meetup. Remember all video chats can be secretly recorded so keep it PG rated till you know they can be trusted.
If and when you do meet someone in public as a married woman in a small town, this can leave you open to gossip. Keep suggestive touching and flirting to a minimum while in public. This lets you easily explain it away as chatting with an old college buddy or work connection in case anyone sees you and asks what’s going on. Be careful and don’t let your passion make bad decisions. If anything gives off a bad vibe, do not proceed. Better to reschedule than to take an unnecessary risk.
Remember to keep it casual in public and if you have steamy chemistry together, save the naughty fun for when you are in private. Before you do anything with your new friend, agree on the same cover story so you are on the same page if you are ever asked or interrupted. You could be old friends, you could be asking for advice or a million other different reasons you can come up with. Keep it simple and short.
A safer option for the sake of discretion is to meet someone who is visiting from out of town. This way he could be your cousin visiting for the weekend for all anyone else knows and it’s less likely he will be known or at least as well known by your friends and neighbors. If you prefer to meet people in person rather than online, going one or two towns over for parties and nightclubs is also better than staying local where you are far more likely to run into familiar faces. Once you have established trust, then you might want to have them check into a hotel so you can bypass the lobby and meet them in the room.
Deny, Deny, Deny
Someone who spotted you with a mysterious new friend might try to rev up the rumor mill. Laugh it off and deny, deny, deny. Make a joke of it and sooner or later they will be gossiping about someone else. If you act ashamed, angry or suspicious, people are more likely to talk and question it for longer. Make a rule that you don’t allow pictures or videos to be taken during sex. When you enter a hotel, consider going in separately to further insulate yourself.
If you are meeting people online, also be aware that it’s possible someone you know may come across your profile on hook up sites. For this reason, a lot people prefer to use an alias and avoid using their real name. Think of it as a sexy alter ego.
If you find yourself in a position where you are being threatened or blackmailed, don’t be shy about contacting the police. It is their job to be as discreet as possible and there is no reason to let anyone get away with threatening behavior. If you feel afraid or in danger, it is something that needs to be addressed by the proper authorities.
A strong defense is to have nothing to hide. It’s a big ask of some people but think about being open about your lifestyle. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to shout about your sex life from the rooftops but you could come out to family and friends that you are close to if you are worried about them hearing first from someone else. It can also feel really empowering to own your sexuality and rise above caring about anyone else’s labels or preconceived notions. Of course, if you really want to stir the pot, you could act like you have been caught red-handed when seen out and about with a man that isn’t your husband. Play out your own soap opera for you and your hubby’s amusement and then you can both laugh about the reaction to all the scandal.
There is no denying that in rural areas, there are simply fewer play partners. Don’t get frustrated, get smart. Be willing to cast a wider net by joining multiple sites or driving a longer distance to meet play partners. You might think that someone living four hours away is too far but if you meet in the middle it is only a two hour drive and it gives you the bonus reward of extra privacy.
Check out towns with military bases. They tend to have plenty of willing young men who will go above & beyond to enjoy a sexy hotwife like you. Another option is if there are any big industrial sites or even colleges. They all tend to be filled with eager men.
Another option is to look at travel options. You don’t have to limit your hotwife play to your home. You can pick nearby tourist spots and enjoy some weekend getaways or go really crazy and book a trip to a swinger sex resort. You will probably have to work a little harder than your city counterparts to make sexy connections, but you can still enjoy a very sensual life.
In rural towns, it can be harder to take care of your sexual health. There might only be one nearby doctor and the receptionist might be a big gossip. It is not legal or right, but it is too often a reality in rural areas. Thankfully now with the internet you have options. You can do online doctor consults, at home STI tests, and order condoms and other sex supplies online so you don’t need to deal with a gossiping receptionist or store clerk.
Be smart and take care of your sexual health. Don’t blindly believe anyone. Ask to see their test results. If they are regularly testing, they should be happy to share their test results.
Phew! That was a bunch of information. We hope it helps. Happy Hotwifing!