Swinging isn’t really something done in public. That leads the sex-starved public to jump to assumptions and an explosion of myths about swinging. Hollywood loves these myths because they are sensuous and an easy plot tool for movies and TV shows. They don’t care about these myths being inaccurate. So we are going to help clarify the top swinger myths for you.
Myth 1: Swingers always want sex
This myth is totally wrong. Nymphomaniacs always want sex, and that is very different from swinging. Sure, swingers enjoy a sexier life, but in reality, swingers tend to be a bit particular when it comes to sexy time because they aren’t desperate. There is plenty of polite swinger rejections as swingers only play with people they actively enjoy. Swingers live a free life where consenting & respectful adults have the power to do what they enjoy, when it works for them, with people they like. They are not out of control sex maniacs. Just respectful, mature adults who enjoy consensual fun.
Myth 2: Swinging is cheating
Swinging is a consensual fun time between adults. The swinging lifestyle is not cheating if everyone is informed, consenting and happy. Cheating is when someone in a committed relationship breaks a rule and the trust with their partner. That is the opposite of swinging. Swingers love each other, trust each other, and respect their rules & boundaries. Swinging tends to be more of a team sport with couples staying together and pairing up with other happy couples to have sexy fun in a same room swap. Swinging is not cheating because there is no deceit, breaking rules, or broken trust. It is simply grown adults having fun together.
Myth 3: Swinging will stop your partner from cheating
While swinging isn’t cheating, it doesn’t mean swingers can’t also be cheaters. When there’s honesty and communication in a swinger partnership, it can be amazing and make a relationship stronger. However, if your partner is looking to stray, swinging won’t stop them from doing that. If you can’t trust them in monogamy, you will feel just as uneasy in a swinger arrangement, probably even more so.
Myth 4: Swingers are all dirty freaks
Sorry but this myth is not accurate. Some swingers are interested in freaky fun, but others enjoy a more simple & sexy approach to life. That is ok. Swingers are respectful of each other and understand that everyone has different preferences for sexy playing. We all have the freedom to choose the different things that we might enjoy or say “no thanks” and skip what we don’t want. You can be as kinky or as vanilla as you like. The swinging community is a big place filled with people with many different preferences.
Myth 5: Swinging is only for couples
Most swingers are couples, but there are also plenty of single people in the swinging lifestyle. Usually, single people are dating other single people, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be swingers. There are plenty of threesomes in the swinging world, and that means plenty of single people. All single ladies aka unicorns and single men are welcome in the swinging lifestyle as long as they are honest, respectful, and consenting. It is a very welcoming community that is more concerned about being friendly and enjoying life and less concerned about strict labels. Life is much more fun when we are accepting of others.
Myth 6: Swinging ruins relationships
Swinging is about consenting adults working together with open & honest communication to do what they both enjoy. Those are fundamental elements for any good relationship. Unfortunately, not every relationship has these good fundamental elements and can be at risk for breaking down. Not because of swinging but because the relationship lacks the fundamental parts like trust, communication, consent, and empathy. Swinging won’t ruin a good relationship, but it also won’t save a bad relationship. Couples should fix their relationships before complicating them with swinging.
Myth 7: Swinging will save your marriage
This is a big misconception, so let’s restate that swinging is not for you if your marriage is in trouble. Opening your relationship up to involve more people is just going to intensify the existing issues. If you and your partner struggle with jealousy and dishonesty, you can be sure it will only be made worse by exploring the swinger lifestyle. Swinging is best to enhance relationships that are already on a solid foundation, and both want to try something new. It’s not a remedy for a broken partnership.
Myth 8: Swingers all have STDs
Thankfully this myth is totally false. Swingers aren’t silly teenagers having risky sex, which is why most research shows swingers tend to have about the same STD rates as the general public. That might sound surprising, but they are responsible adults educated about the STD risks of swinging and take wise precautions to keep themselves healthy. Medicine & scientific research has significantly advanced from where it was 20 years ago to make it easier for educated adults to practice safer sex and protect their health so they can keep enjoying sexy fun for many years.
Myth 9: You can identify swingers by secret symbols
Remember how we talked about swingers not being nymphomaniacs? Swingers aren’t always interested in sex. Plus, many swingers tend to value their privacy and don’t want to be bothered while living their everyday lives. This is why there really aren’t secret swinger symbols or signals. There are some unofficial things like black rings and pineapples, but honestly, they are more tongue in cheek & less actual methods used by swingers.
Myth 10: Swinging women are sluts
A grown woman is more than capable of figuring out what she likes and how to enjoy it responsibly. Swinging helps empower women to explore their sensual curiosities in a respectful space without the outdated toxic shaming of repressed people filled with hate. Life is too short to listen to the haters. All women and men are free to enjoy the friendly and supportive swinging lifestyle to explore their sexual desires.
Myth 11: All women who swing are bisexual
Swinging lifestyle supports bisexuality and even encourages the opportunity to explore for women in the lifestyle. However, many women who start swinging wouldn’t identify as bisexual and have to ease into the possible idea of exploring their bi-curiosity. Additionally, some women swing for years and decide never to explore any bicurious feelings. Of course, some women take the opportunity to be with other women while remaining in their heterosexual relationship. Swinging provides an excellent opportunity to explore bisexuality if you feel like it.
Myth 12: Swingers are perfectly open-minded
As a general concept, this is true, but it’s not 100% perfect! Nothing in life is perfect, and that includes swinging. There can be some prejudice towards bi-sexual men, and there can even be a touch of racism in swinging – you might encounter a couple that writes “Caucasian couples only” in their online dating profiles. This is rare, but it does happen. Swingers are very open-minded compared to the general population, but that doesn’t mean every swinger is perfectly open-minded about everything.
Myth 13: Swingers are all unattractive or super attractive
Swingers come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. There are chubby young swingers, fit senior swingers, and everyone in between, but most people involved in the lifestyle take great pride in the care of their bodies. When you know you’re getting naked and exploring with new people, it’s in your best interest to stay fit, so you don’t run out of energy during the sexy fun. This stereotype probably stems from the inclusive nature of the lifestyle because it’s not an exclusive club. Most people don’t get hung up about their appearance and want to have fun! Swingers are regular people that come in all shapes & sizes, so you’ll fit right in.
Myth 14: Clubs and parties are a free-for-all
Just because someone’s at a swinger party or club doesn’t mean they’ll hook up with anyone and everyone in the room. There’s still an element of flirting and chatting, finding another couple you’re attracted to and interested in. Consent is essential, and you are free to say yes or no to anyone at any time. People often imagine a swinger party as one big orgy, but that’s not the reality. That’s what orgies are for. There needs to be a connection, and the courting process in a swinger relationship is just as crucial as a one-on-one traditional dating scenario. Following the community rules and practicing polite manners is essential; otherwise, you will be removed from the fun.
Myth 15: Swingers drink lots of alcohol and do lots of drugs
This is not true. Firstly, alcohol and drugs can hurt a man’s performance, so most don’t want to risk it. Secondly, consent is greatly valued in the community, and excessive drinking or drugs puts people’s ability to say “yes” or “no” at risk, which would derail the sexy fun. Swinger clubs and parties host classy events, so people tripping hard on drugs or falling over drunk won’t be welcome. This isn’t to say that swinging is a 100% sober affair. Social drinking is common. Going crazy and losing control because of drinking too much or taking drugs is not allowed. No one wants to deal with police responding to noise complaints while naked, so swingers prefer to party without illegal party favors.
Bonus Myth: Swingers have hundreds of partners
Many swingers prefer quality connections over the quantity of contacts. If you want to have lots of sex, go for it. If you’re going to be selective and develop a fun social connection with a small number of friends, go for it. This lifestyle gives you the freedom to decide what is best for you and your relationship.
There are a lot of myths out there, and the swinger lifestyle remains an enigma for most people… but that doesn’t stop everyone from having an opinion! The misinformation doesn’t make a difference to how much fun swinging can be, but it does place an unnecessary social bias against swingers.