Congratulations, you’ve found a great swinger couple to meet up with & have fun. Now the hard part – trying to figure out what to do on your swinger date. We all know swingers eventually want to have sexy fun, but how do we have a good time before sexy time? Where do swingers go, and what activities are a good idea to help jump-start the flirting and naughty teasing? Today’s your lucky day, we have plenty of options and helpful tips to make picking the right swinger date plans easier for you.
General Dating Tips
Here are the basic concepts of what we all want to happen during a sexy swinger date.
- We want the chance for flirty chatting, so nothing too loud or places we can’t talk.
- We want the potential for teasing touches, so interactive stuff is super helpful.
- We want an easy escape if there is no four-way connection. We don’t want to be trapped in a bad situation.
- We want to have fun but nothing too crazy, like getting wicked drunk, which would stop sexy time.
- We want something we’ll enjoy, regardless of the other couple showing up, because swingers can be flaky.
Sounds simple, right? It is pretty simple, and we are going to make it even easier by running through some of the more popular swinger date options.
First Swinger Date Ideas
Swinger Clubs
You might think, isn’t this like bringing sand to the beach? Sorta, but it might be your best move. If you have never met this couple, meeting at a swinger club can be a wise choice. Sometimes swingers (especially new ones) flake out. Maybe they are nervous newbies, or maybe their babysitter cancels. There are many reasons for last-minute no-shows & none of them are fun. If they no-show, you can still have fun and go find another couple at the swinger club. If they do show up, you can have fun playing at the club and save the money you would have spent on a hotel room.
Restaurants
This well-tested date option is a very reliable choice. If possible, find a restaurant with a spread-out floorplan so you can have more privacy around your table. Try to find a restaurant with plenty of menu options to appeal to everyone. Don’t worry about their dessert menu. Hopefully, everything goes so smoothly over dinner, you will all want to pick up dessert and head to a hotel room for sexy playtime.
Pool Hall/Bowling
Shooting some pool at your local pool hall or going bowling can be really fun (as long as you aren’t dating Mr. H from the BedHoppers podcast). You can grab some drinks and have the guys play against the ladies. This provides good opportunities for flirting and playful touches as you sexily distract each other from making your shots. You can also “help” each other with some hands-on help to make your shots. Plenty of chances to stoke the heat before you move the party to a more private place.
Beer/Wine/Food Festivals
These are great opportunities to walk around with your new friends, talk, and try new things together before you go try new things together in the bedroom. The beer & wine tastings are extra helpful since they keep the kids away and make it easier for you to get into a sexier mindset. These festivals have plenty of different options, so there is likely something that will appeal to everyone’s different tastes.
Private Yoga Class
Yoga clothes can provide a sexy tease, and stretching can help make the later sexy fun even more memorable. If you book a private class, you can also try some of the more risque poses and even help each other’s partner in those risque poses. Click here for more first swinger date tips.
Date Ideas for Repeating Couples
Hosting At HomeYou might have a great swinger set-up with a pool, hot tub, and awesome swinger playroom, but you should save this for the second or third swinger date. If you have never met the couple, you can’t be sure there will be a sexy four-way connection.
Movies
This is a better second or third swinger date idea. Why? Because you can’t talk during movies and you are stuck in your seat. Yes, a dark movie theater can be fun but probably not your best option for a first swinger date.
Boating/Tubing/Canoeing
Getting on the water can be super fun. Ladies in their sexy swimsuits & guys trying to keep their eyeballs not falling out from all of their admiring. The issue here is you will be stuck on the water together and unless you are Jesus, it’s hard to walk away. This option is better suited for well-screened swinger couples or second & third swinger dates.
Concerts
These can be super exciting but with the loud music and your dirty dancing as you grind against each other. The problem is they aren’t the best for conversations. That makes it really hard to develop a sexy four-way connection on first dates. This is why you probably want to reserve this fun option for only repeat dates with swinger couples with whom you already have established a sexy connection.
Bad Swinger Date Ideas
Here are some swinger date ideas that aren’t the best. You might love them, and they might work for you but keep an open mind and read our explanations of why these date ideas might not be the best option. To be fair, we probably shouldn’t call them bad swinger date ideas. More accurate to say these are potentially flawed ideas. Be smart and figure out what will work best for you and your swinger friends.
Gun Range
Guns can be a controversial topic & controversy is rarely the best path to sexy fun with new friends. Even if guns aren’t a controversy, it is still not a great swinger date because it is really hard to chat & flirt while wearing your ear protection & dumping lead downrange. Guns are ridiculously loud. Plus, it’s not the smartest idea to wear sexier outfits to the range. Trust us, a hot bullet casing falling down your cleavage isn’t fun.
Live Music Cafes/Comedy Shows
It seems cool to hit a live jazz joint or an open mic night on the surface. The potential problem is many musicians and venues don’t allow talking during the live music, so it can be hard to connect & flirt. If you or they are performing, you can’t be sure the others will appreciate the performance. If it’s a comedy show, you can’t really talk with each other during the performance. This could be an option for repeating swingers looking for something, but there are probably much better options for your swinger dates.
Museums
Unless it’s the Museum of Sex in NYC, you probably don’t want to pick a museum for your swinger get-together. They tend to be much quieter places, so you need to be careful not to be overheard. Plus, they don’t usually inspire sexy thoughts. Why not choose something more exciting and enticing?
Shopping
It might sound like fun to go shopping for lingerie, wine, or whatever else together. This can be prone to awkwardness. Even if you find something you want to buy, like lingerie or a sex toy, it won’t help that night because you won’t be able to wash it. Not to mention you can’t be sure about another couple’s financial situation. We don’t want to accidentally embarrass another couple for how much or how little they spend while shopping. It is safer if we minimize the impact money has on the swinger dates.
Escape Room
This is not the best idea. Why? It is interactive, and it is fun. It only gives you a semi-private place to be playful and work together, but there are cameras, and a minimum-wage high school kid is probably monitoring them. You probably need to watch what you say or touch while doing this. It can be a good option if you want a slower first date, but most swingers aren’t looking to take the slower & more vanilla-like approach.
Gym
Yes, plenty of swingers love to spend time in the gym, but that doesn’t make it a wise swinger date. The more you enjoy your gym workout, the less energy you all will have for your bedroom workout. Probably smarter if you pick something less intense so you don’t end up blocking yourself from having a sexy time.
Triple Date
You may love group swinger sex, but arranging a date with multiple couples at once can be a bad recipe, especially if it’s the first time meeting any of the couples. Even if you have met these couples separately, you can’t be sure how it will go when mixing couples. That can really change the dynamics & you can’t always be sure the other couples will be into each other. If you really want group fun, probably better to plan a swinger house party, so everyone understands the situation and has more flexibility to do what they want.
Traveling Together
This is a very advanced dating option. This might sound like a good idea if you have made an amazingly strong connection in the lifestyle. If you are having fun for a night with them, imagine how much more fun you would have all week long. The problem is being too close for too long can lead to grumpy situations. You can also have different preferences, one couple might prefer being more active while traveling, and the other couple might prefer more relaxing. There can also be drama when it comes to sexy time. One couple might want to be exclusive with the other couple during the trip & the other couple might want to play with outside couples. It can work out great, but it’s a much higher difficulty level and is more likely to lead to some grumpy moments.
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