Many men fantasize about their wives being with another man. It is very common for men to have to have some version of this fantasy at one point or another. There are millions of videos for wife sharing and hot wife fantasies online. Once you’re ready to turn that sexy fantasy into a reality, you might have some questions about how to get started to safely have fun. Here are some hot tips to help you get started exploring hot wife play.
How and Where to Find a Bull
For your first hot wife experience you may want to dabble in a one-time relationship with a stranger so there’s no strings attached and no expectation to follow up. But finding another man that you can both trust makes it easier to arrange consistent play dates with low hassle – less vetting and planning.
Finding a one night stand will be easy; you have (or you are) a hot wife. Unlike finding a single woman or, “unicorn” as they’re known in the lifestyle, it will be easy to find a man who’s into being a third. You could find a “bull” at a party for swingers, a club, or even at a regular bar. Though many single men will be willing, their inexperience is is more likely to cause you headaches and frustration. It is wiser to search your local swinger website to find single men experienced in this fantasy. They’ll understand their roles and can be better trusted to follow your rules. You and your partner can make it into a fun game or challenge, and can go searching online for a bull together.
A swinger’s club or party is another great place to start so you can explore without getting discouraged. You’ll almost certainly find an interested guy if they’re already in the lifestyle. Most swinger’s clubs only allow people to come as couples, but will usually have one night a week where they open the doors to single men as well. That’s your prime time!
Laying Out Clear Boundaries
Unlike a swinger relationship fantasy shared among couples, hot wife play is a bit of a complicated one because a little jealousy can be part of the fun! But it can easily run rampant and go too far, so it helps to have a few set rules that are clearly communicated between everyone.
Every couple is going to play by different rules. Just as with any exploration into non-monogamy, the key to success will be in the expectations. Talk to your partner – your number one – and figure out what the ideal hot wife situation looks like to each of you. When you find a common ground it’ll be easier to express those boundaries to your third party and make sure everyone is getting the most out of this fantasy becoming a reality.
Because hot wife play is similar to cuckolding, they can often be confused. If your partner is turned on by the idea of humiliation and degradation in the scenario, then their interest is less about hot wifing, it’s more about the cuckolding. This is an important distinction to make before diving in because the demeaning aspects of cuckolding are not for everyone. The difference is not always made totally clear in porn, so your partner might think they’re fantasizing about hot wife when it’s actually cuckolding and vice versa.
Some examples of boundaries that couples often set out are:
- Always use protection
- The husband is always present
- If he doesn’t need to be present, the husband has the right to the details of any hook up
- The husband has the ability to control the situation (suggesting different positions etc.)
- The husband has input or final say on the chosen bull
- No friends or colleagues
- The husband has the right to ultimately veto any situation
- No kissing the third party (or a different physical limitation – no oral sex etc.)
- Full disclosure about chats with the bull
- No contact with the bull outside of the play date, unless setting up another play date
- If anyone involved starts catching feelings, the relationship needs to be cut off
Those are just some of the hundreds of aspects to consider when coming up with the guidelines that will suit you and your partner best. Staying flexible about these going forward allows you to figure out what works best so don’t be afraid to play around…literally! Talk with your partner and figure out what you both want from this encounter.
Vetting Potential Bulls
You’ll need to make your expectations clear to your potential bull. It’s not inappropriate to ask them if they’ve had a recent STI screening, and you’ll both want him to fit your physical criteria.
- Are you looking for someone younger, older?
- Does he need to be more hung than the husband?
- Are you concerned about their personality or is it just for sex?
- How dominant do you expect him to be?
- Will there be any contact between the three of you or strictly between the bull and hot wife?
- Do you want to arrange ongoing dates or is this a one-time thing?
The answer to all of these questions can be revealed with a short conversation. Approach the potential bull and strike up a casual conversation before moving into the details of what you’re after.
The pool of people to choose from might be narrower depending on how particular you are and the details of your fantasy. Regardless, you’ll have an easier time finding a man than you would if you were searching for another woman.
Be prepared for a few challenges. Some men won’t see hot wife play as a three person dynamic, and will just be there for the wife. There’s also the possibility that your bull will get cold feet and cancel last minute. Some people are excited about a fantasy until it becomes too real. Don’t be discouraged by this though – it’s not about you, it’s about them. It’s worth the wait to find a bull who’s on the same page.
If you meet someone at a bar, club or party, you might be ready to go right away – no planning required. But maybe you want to get to know your potential bull a little better first and take their number down to arrange a future date. When you’re ready to dive in, invite him over for an evening that both you and your partner are free. If one of your rules is no sex in your own bed, booking a hotel room is an easy fix.
If you meet someone online they may live further away which makes booking a hotel even more of good idea so that you can meet somewhere in the middle. Both the husband and wife should be involved in arranging the dates so that the lines of communication stay open.
Now you’re ready to turn your hot wife fantasy into a reality and expand your sex life beyond the walls of monogamy!