If swinging is a new concept to you, perhaps you’re wondering what a swinging relationship is. Many vanilla people associate this lifestyle with orgies and endless sex parties. Others find it hard to understand the difference between swinging and other types of open relationships.
In this article, we aim to shed some light on the matter and help you understand whether swinging is for you.
What Is Swinging?
Swinging is a type of open relationship in which couples seek other couples – and sometimes single mates – to engage in erotic relationships. Although this lifestyle is more sex-centered than other open relationships, it still involves, and even encourages, socializing.
However, the primary relationship of the couple remains the default dynamic of this lifestyle. The swinging lifestyle is focused more on physical sexy fun, and not emotional bonds. This sexual exploration in swinging appeals to many women & men. These swinging couples go on swinging websites or attending their local swinging clubs where they find and engage in sexy activities together.
Types of Swingers
From a strictly sexual point of view, swingers can be heterosexual or bisexual. It is more common for women to have bisexual orientations – and many of them even join the lifestyle out of curiosity of trying girl-on-girl interaction –. In contrast, it is more common for men to be heterosexual or as least publicly claim to be heterosexual to avoid homophobic feelings.
From a social point of view, swinger couples look just like any other couple. They could be your neighbors or the romantic pair having dinner at the table next to you. The only difference between them and a monogamous couple is that they mutually agreed to consensual non-monogamy.
Then, there are single swingers, although finding singles in this lifestyle is less common. Single men are often interested in getting into swinging, mainly seeing it as an opportunity to engage in some easy play with a couple and perhaps even switching from one partner to another without too much trouble. However, swinging communities are often reluctant to allow single men into their restricted circles. If it happens, they usually only allow really well-behaved men who understand swinging etiquette and always respect the rules. Single women are highly sought after in swinger communities. However, finding a single lady interested in this lifestyle is uncommon enough that they are called unicorns.
Styles of Swinging
Swinging relationships can be either one-off sex experiences or ongoing friends with benefits relationships. Apart from the actual length, swinging relationships can also be classified based on the type of sex couples want to enjoy. They are grouped into three types.
- Soft swap swinging: Limits sexual intimacy to just touching and oral sex between the couple. Intercourse happens between each couple’s primary partners only, either in the same room or in different rooms.
- Full swap swinging: Couples have full sex with each other, allowing intercourse between non-primary partners. Swapping and intercourse can happen in the same room or separate rooms.
- Solo play swinging: Couples allow sex between non-primary partners even when the primary partners are not present. For instance, male A with female B can meet and have sex even if female A and male B are missing. This relationship is less common as swingers tend to enjoy the lifestyle more as an activity they do together. There are many different flavors of solo playing, including hotwifing. Solo playing tends to be less popular than playing together as a team.
Sex Only or More Than Sex?
One of the dilemmas you’ll face in the lifestyle is choosing whether you should keep your swinging encounters focused on sex only or if you should also socialize with your favorite couple.
Although different than polyamory, swinging implies a lot of socializing and relationship building, especially if you want to swing with a few selected couples rather than having different partners each time you want to play.
If you choose an ongoing swinging relationship, it is helpful never to get too involved with the other couple from an emotional perspective. While it’s okay to go to birthdays and backyard gatherings, you should treat them just as you would treat your vanilla friends to minimize the risk of emotional jealousy.
If you want to avoid all risks of getting too emotionally involved, a great alternative is to attend swinger clubs. These are great places to meet couples for a single night of fun. Moreover, most swinging clubs have playrooms where you can go ahead and have fun without worrying about hotel rooms and other logistics.
A swinging relationship is nothing but an alternative lifestyle. A couple agrees on dating and having sex with other couples or single partners, depending on their preference and desires. Swinging is a great way to explore your sexuality, discover new sides of yourselves, and ultimately empower your primary relationship, as long as your primary relationship is already healthy and strong. Undoubtedly, a great lifestyle to try.