If swinging is a new concept to you, perhaps you’re wondering what is a swinging relationship. Many vanilla people associate this lifestyle with orgies and endless sex parties. Others find it hard to understand the difference between swinging and other types of open relationships.
In this article, we aim to shed some light on the matter and help you understand whether swinging is for you.
What Is Swinging?
Swinging is a type of open relationship in which couples seek other couples – and sometimes single mates – with whom they engage in erotic relationships. Although this lifestyle is more sex-centered than other open relationships, it still involves, and even encourages, socializing.
However, the primary relationship of the couple remains the default dynamic of this lifestyle. Swinging lifestyle is focused more on physical sexy fun and not emotional bonds. Many swinging couples go on swinging websites or attend their local swinging clubs where the couples find and engage in sexy activities together.
Types of Swingers
From a strictly sexual point of view, swingers can be either heterosexual or bisexual. It is much more common for women to have bisexual orientations – and many of them even join the lifestyle out of curiosity of trying girl-on-girl interaction – whereas it is more common for men to be heterosexual or as least publicly claim to be heterosexual to avoid any homophobic feelings.
From a social point of view, swinger couples look just like any other couple. They could be your neighbors or the romantic pair having dinner at the table next to you. The only difference between them and a monogamous couple is that they mutually agreed to consensual non-monogamy.
Then, there are single swingers, although finding singles in this lifestyle is less common. Single men are often interested in getting into swinging, mainly seeing it as an opportunity to engage in some easy play with a couple, and perhaps even switching from one partner to another without too much trouble. However, swinging communities are often reluctant to allow single men into their restricted circles. If it happens, they usually only allow men that are really well-behaved, understand swinging etiquette, and always respect the rules. Single women are highly sought after in swinger communities. However, it is so uncommon for a single lady to be interested in this lifestyle that they are called unicorns.
Styles of Swinging
Swinging relationships can be either one-off sex experiences or ongoing friends with benefits relationships. Apart from the actual length, swinging relationships can also be classified based on the type of sex couples want to enjoy. They are grouped into three types.
- Soft swap swinging: Limits sexual intimacy to just touching and oral sex between the couple. Intercourse happens between the primary partners of each couple only, either in the same room or in different rooms.
- Full swap swinging: Couples have full sex with each other, allowing intercourse between non-primary partners. Swapping and intercourse can happen in the same room or in separate rooms.
- Full open swinging: Couples allow sex between non-primary partners even when the primary partners are not present. For instance, male A with female B can meet and have sex even if female A and male B are missing. This type of relationship is less common as swingers tend to enjoy the lifestyle more as an activity they do together.
Sex Only or More Than Sex?
One of the main dilemmas you’ll face if you consider getting into the lifestyle is whether you should keep your swinging encounters focused on sex only, or if you should also socialize with your favorite couple.
Although different than polyamory, swinging implies a lot of socializing and relationship building, especially if you want to swing with a few selected couples rather than having different partners each time you want to play.
If you choose an ongoing swinging relationship, it is helpful to never get too involved with the other couple from an emotional point of view. While it’s okay to go to birthdays and backyard gatherings, you should treat them just as you would treat your vanilla friends to minimize the risk of emotional jealousy.
If you want to avoid all risks of getting too emotionally involved, a great alternative is to attend swinger clubs. These are great places to meet couples for a single night of fun. Moreover, most swinging clubs have playrooms where you can go ahead and have fun without worrying about hotel rooms and other logistics.
A swinging relationship is nothing but an alternative lifestyle in which a couple agrees on dating and having sex with other couples or single partners, depending on their preference and desires. Swinging is a great way to explore your sexuality, discover new sides of yourselves, and ultimately empower your primary relationship, as long as your primary relationship is already healthy and strong. Undoubtedly, a great lifestyle to try.