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You are here: Home / Swinging Basics / Why Swinging Appeals to Women

Why Swinging Appeals to Women

“Vanilla” people aka the non-swingers, often associate the swinging lifestyle with a man’s desire to have a consensually non-monogamous relationship. Many people believe that women swingers go along with it to please their partners.

Even if it could seem different to an outsider, though, swinging is not just about men. It is also about women, and often these ladies are the driving force of the swinging lifestyle.  Women tend to get in control quite quickly once they enter the lifestyle. Why is the swinging lifestyle so appealing to women? Here are some of the most common reasons.

  1. Swinging Empowers Women

We may be in the twenty-first century, but the truth is we live in a paternal society. Women are often seen as compliant housewives accustomed to following their husbands, whereas men are often considered leaders.

In the swinging lifestyle, though, the roles tend to be reversed, with the women steering the ship. Ladies often dictate the rules, establish the pace, give approval for an encounter, and have men follow their lead every step of the way.

Such a lifestyle is empowering, especially for women who are indeed housewives in their normal lives.  The swinging lifestyle provides an opportunity for ladies to flourish and enjoy a healthy boost to their self-esteem.

  1. Helps Build Self-Confidence

Nothing sexier than a confident woman who knows exactly how to get what she wants from her man, or anyone else, as a matter of fact. And nothing can help a woman build self-confidence as quickly as the awareness that she’s attractive.

Due to its female-centered nature, the swinging lifestyle appeals to many women because it makes them feel attractive, beautiful, and sensual. While many women fear not looking good enough, swinging often proves them wrong.  It creates a stage for each lady to release her inner sexy and enjoy the attention of others.

It doesn’t matter what body shape you have or how much you weigh. Once you’ve had your first encounter, you’ll realize that you can be sexy and attractive just as you are. This confirmation is a big confidence booster that will show off in all aspects of your life.

  1. Freedom To Explore Their Sexuality

Many swinging women have a bisexual or bicurious aspect to them.  Swinging gives them the possibility to explore their sexuality to the fullest without being labeled as lesbians. Most swinging communities are open to girl-on-girl play, so that’s an easy and safe way to give it a try.

There is no judgment, just friendly acceptance for each lady to be herself however she chooses to show it.  She can be caressed, touched, kissed, and played with by whoever she likes & however she likes it.

Now, if you’re wondering why she uses swinging to explore her sexuality, the reason is simple. Swinging gives women a certain degree of security. Knowing that their husband is there, right beside them, makes most women feel more confident about their bisexual play. Once the girls have fully satisfied one another, they can also concentrate on a round of normal sex to bring pleasure to the next level.

  1. Welcoming & Supportive Community

Too often in life, we are surrounded by frenemies.  They smile to our faces as they silently judge us.  As soon as we are out the door, they are gossiping and tearing each other down with such venom.  In the regular world, it can be hard to trust others and feel supported.

Swinging is a team sport.  Couples are teaming up with other couples to share a great experience together.  In the vanilla world, women can feel like they are competing with each other.  In the lifestyle, it is a collaborative team environment.  It can be an amazing breath of fresh air to finally be surrounded by people who genuinely want to build you up and join in the team fun.

Is Your Partner Interested in Swinging?

You can ask yourself why the swinging lifestyle appeals to women out of curiosity or because you believe – or know for sure – that your partner is interested in swinging.

The first thing to do in this situation is to understand that most women interested in swinging are delighted with their relationship. If she wants to try something new, it is not because you’re not enough. On the contrary, swinging can fortify your relationship.

Also, understand that women who find swinging appealing are not sluts. Everyone should be allowed to explore their sexuality to the fullest, and if your partner is tackling the idea of swinging, it means she wants to explore her sexuality with you by her side.

Once you’ve got that settled, it is time to ask yourself how you feel about it. Are you jealous or possessive? Would you feel comfortable watching someone else touching, kissing, and pleasing your wife? If you would, talk openly about your feelings.

If you wouldn’t mind seeing her interacting with other people, think about how far you want to go.

Most people who get into swinging set their own rules to prevent damaging the relationship. For instance, you could start with just a soft swap, which basically means you can touch, kiss, and give oral sex to one another, but only primary partners have intercourse (male partner A with female partner A and male partner B with female partner B).

Other couples decide to avoid kissing people outside of their primary relationship, as kissing is seen as truly intimate.

If the swinging lifestyle appeals to you, then talk it out with your partner and join a swinging website or a swinging club to get started.   The swinging lifestyle appeals to women for many different reasons.  It appeals to them because it gives them a way to explore their sexuality, improve their primary sex life, boost self-confidence, and ultimately, it can even empower them.

Last Updated: September 25, 2023
Written By:Dr. Georgia

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Welcome to Swingers Help! We’re Dr. Georgia & Will Fuchs, a married couple who have been enjoying our swinging time through the consensual non-monogamy community. Our experience hasn’t been perfect or drama-free but we don’t regret at all making the decision to start swinging. To share our swinging enjoyment, we authored the top ranked Swingers’ Little Helper book and provide free videos, articles, games, & relationship exercises on this site.  Join us as we share our insights on the swinging lifestyle.

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