We are very grateful to the over 2,000 survey respondents who shared a peek inside their lifestyle experiences in our third annual State of Play swinger survey! Due to the robust response, we have split up the data. This report data represents the 1,620 survey respondents who have had an in-person swinging experience. We will report on the other respondents in a separate report. This survey was conducted during the spring of 2022 with COVID-19 still impacting many activities within and outside the swinging lifestyle.
Why Are We Doing This & Why Do We Need Your Participation?
A big part of why we do this comes down to simple curiosity. Like many swingers, we are curious and like to know how different people approach the swinging lifestyle.
But a bigger reason is to help grow the community. Swinging & non-monogamy is still very taboo in most circles. Social acceptance is slowly moving forward, and we are hopeful that conducting actual research can provide helpful insights to fight the many pervasive misconceptions about consensual non-monogamy.
In addition to fighting bias against non-monogamy, we hope that publishing hard data can help make the case for better policy and legislation impacting the swinging community. We are particularly interested in the public health implications and are excited about partnering with professional researchers to explore the possibilities. We don’t know where this research will lead, but we view it as an important step in the journey of making the swinging community a better, safer place.
This is where you come in! We need more participation in future surveys. The more respondents, the better the data and insights.
Demographics
Researching an underground community tends to be tricky. Most swingers pride themselves on being discreet and private. We recruited participants from multiple social media sites, dating sites, podcasts, email newsletters, and other websites. Even with our extensive outreach, we know we reached only a slice of the community. For example, if a swinger only engages offline like small, invite-only house parties, we have a low chance of reaching them. Thankfully, word-of-mouth efforts are helping with outreach. We roughly doubled survey participation from last year’s Attraction & Connections swinger survey. Let’s look at who participated in this year’s survey.
Age
The respondents fell into three roughly equivalent segments. Younger swingers (39 & under) accounted for 30.9% of participants, the middle group (40-49) accounted for 35.9%, and older swingers (50 & up) accounted for 33.3%. It is possible that healthy living and ED pills are helping swingers remain active in the lifestyle longer: our oldest respondent is 76 years old! Swingers over 60 accounted for 7% of respondents.
Location
The vast majority (81.5%) of survey participants live in the United States. The UK, Canada, and Australia all made good showings considering their smaller populations compared to the United States. We hope to grow the number of respondents from other countries with future editions. We are also looking into translating the survey into different languages to broaden the reach. 
Ethnicity/Race
Despite our attempts to recruit a diverse pool, the survey respondents were still overwhelmingly white. Just under 84% of this year’s respondents identify as white, which is down slightly from 86% in the 2021 survey. More change is on the horizon. When we look at younger swingers (39 & under), we see much more representation across minority groups.
Gender
Representation of women increased with this edition. Women accounted for 38.8% of respondents, up almost seven percentage points from 2021. Again, change is on the horizon. In the younger swingers group, women respondents accounted for 42.1%. Perhaps, the younger generation is more equally engaged online compared to older swingers, but that is a question for another survey.
Relationship Status
We found similar numbers from last year with the exception of Poly/Throuple more than doubling from 1.8% in 2021 to 3.9%. The single respondents were fairly consistent across all segments (8.0% of men, 7.0% of women, 9.8% of ages 18-39, & 6.0% of ages 50+).
Sexual Orientation
Not surprisingly, women were much more likely to identify as bisexual or bi-curious/bi-situational (85.2%). What might be surprising to some, however, is that just over half of all male survey respondents (50.2%) also identify as bisexual or bi-curious/bi-situational. When we look at younger swingers (18-39), we see that jump up to 65.8% of male respondents identifying as some form of bi. Just over 2% of survey takers identify as primarily gay or lesbian.
Activity
Now that we know who answered these basic survey questions, let’s dive into what the typical swinger does & how often they do it!
Monthly Sexual Activity
Not surprised that swingers have an active sex life at home when they aren’t swinging? Well, you might be surprised at how active. Or how not active. For most of the community (64.3%), non-swinging sex happens 10 or fewer times a month, so maybe every three days or so. We clearly aren’t talking about out-of-control libidos. Just over 5% of survey takers have less than monthly non-swinging sex.
Annual Sexual Activity
Respondents reported relatively few total sex partners in the past year. 54.2% of all respondents reported having 4 or fewer sex partners in an entire year. Only 14.9% of respondents had 11 or more annual sex partners. Swingers may be less active than some people assume them to be. Women tended to report more partners than men; 19.9% of women had 11 or more sex partners compared to 11.4% of men. Age didn’t change much with younger & older swingers having similar numbers of partners. We look forward to gathering more data in non-pandemic years to compare these results.
Monthly Swinging Activity
Almost half of swingers (47.3%) enjoy a swinging encounter less than once a month. Another 36.3% have 1-2 swinging encounters a month. Men & women, younger & older all seem to play at roughly the same frequency. So if you ever find yourself listening to podcasts with endless hook-up stories and wondering why you’re the only one not getting that much action, just know you are not alone. 
Group Sizes
When it comes to playing with other swingers, most survey takers are flexible and open to a variety of situations. Foursomes (84.3%) & threesomes (83.6%) were most accepted. Moresomes (70.6%) & One-on-One play (67.9%) also had wide acceptance. Younger swingers were slightly more open to One-on-One play (72.0%) compared to older swingers (66.5%).
Group Size Preference
Despite being flexible and willing to participate in any group size, respondents had a clear preference for foursomes (41.4%). Threesomes were the second most common preference (30.8%). One-on-one (15.6%) & moresomes (12.2%) were tight for last place. Interestingly, women preferred foursomes (40.9%) but ranked threesomes (24.8%) close to the same level as one-on-one (21.3%). Older swingers had the most interest in moresomes (16.0%)
Swinger Style Preference
Most swingers prefer same room vs separate rooms regardless of full or soft swap. Full swap/same room led the way with 88.8% acceptance. Notably, there is a majority of acceptance for parallel play (62.0%) and soft swap/same room (69.4%), indicating there are options available for all comfort levels. Solo play was the least desired option, with only 36.8% of survey takers open to it. This is consistent with most couples’ view of swinging as a shared activity.
Enjoyed Sex Styles
Regardless of the type of swinging, there was also wide acceptance for most sex styles. Gentle was the most enjoyed with 84.9%, followed by slow sex at 81.3%, then fast sex at 78.1%. Rough sex was the least popular, though roughly 2/3 of respondents report enjoying it (65.9%). When it came to rough sex there was an age divide with 76.8% of younger swingers enjoying it vs only 51.0% of older swingers. There was also a very slight gender divide on speed. Women prefer fast sex at 80.8% vs men at 76.3%.
Personal Sex Noise
When having sex, most swingers reported they produce quiet moaning (55.2%). Loud moaning (36.5%) was the second most common option, with the other three (silent, screaming, and wake the dead) combining for 8.3%. There was a noticeable difference based on gender. Most women reported loud moaning (50.1%), while men were much more likely to admit to quiet moaning (65.2%). Younger swingers skewed slightly more towards silent (6.5% vs 3.9% overall).
Enjoyed Sex Noise Volume
The numbers move quite a bit to the louder side when we asked about preferred noise levels from sex partners. The overwhelming preference for vocal feedback was loud moaning (78.2%). Quiet moaning was also quite popular, with 60.7% of survey takers noting it as desired. Not surprisingly, silent was in last place; only 5.5% of respondents reported enjoying it. Notable percentages of respondents enjoy screaming (29.0%) and attempts to wake the dead (13.5%) from their partners. There were many differences in this data. Screaming was more popular with younger swingers (39.0%) than older swingers (22.8%). Men were much bigger fans of loud moaning (85.0%) compared to women (67.4%), who reported a narrow preference for quiet moaning (68.1%).
Sexting Others
Swingers tend to have varied preferences when it comes to sexting others. The extremes of Never (11%) & Nonstop (8.6%) were the least common, but there was no wrong answer here. Age exerted clear influence in this area; older swingers were less into sexting than younger swingers. 15.6% of older swingers chose Never compared to 6.9% of younger swingers.
Playing On First Dates
Dating profiles commonly include some version of “no playing on first dates,” but the reality is less definitive. Overall, slightly more than 41% of survey takers report Sometimes playing on first dates, and almost a quarter report Usually playing. First date play is somewhat more common among younger swingers (31.8% chose Usually or Always) compared to older swingers (27.5%).
Kissing While Swinging
To Kiss or Not Kiss is a common topic among newer swingers. Turns out that’s not much of a question for our survey takers, with a full 91.3% saying yes to locking lips while swinging. But perhaps not all kissing is treated equally. In a question about types of foreplay, respondents indicated more interest in kissing the body than kissing on the mouth.
Preferred Foreplay Amount
If you are looking for suggestions for what to do in the bedroom with swinger friends, we suggest more foreplay. Swingers generally enjoy plenty of foreplay. Interestingly, men prefer more foreplay. 51.9% of men choose A lot of foreplay vs. 42.2% of women. Perhaps men are trying to pace themselves and avoid issues with refractory periods, but alas, that theory will need another swinger survey to explore.
Swinging Foreplay Types
So, we now know most swingers like foreplay, but what types of foreplay do they want on a swinger date? There was plenty of desire for all types, with Oral Sex leading the way at 94.2%. Interestingly, Kiss on the Body was 90.2% vs 85.6% for Kiss on the Mouth. Spanking (39%) & biting (31.7%) were less common but still had lots of swingers enjoying them. There was an age disconnect, with younger swingers being more open to spanking & biting than older swingers. For example, 44.3% of younger swingers enjoy biting compared to 21.7% of older swingers.
Soft Swap Foreplay Swinging
Swingers may talk a lot about full swap swinging, but the vast majority of them are open to a soft swap play date with foreplay only swinging.
Repeat Partners or One Time Stands
There is no right way to swing. 52.2% prefer repeat play dates & 9.2% prefer one-time encounters. Even though few swingers prefer one-time encounters, 38.6% find repeat play dates & one-time sexual encounters equally appealing.
Favorite Swinging Sexual Position
Doggy style was the overall top choice at 42.0%, but women chose it more (47.2%) compared to men (38.6%). Cowgirl was more popular with men (19.5%) than women (14.3%).
Positions During Non-Swinger Sex
According to our survey takers, non-swinging sex tends to involve fewer position shifts. More than 2/3 of respondents (67.4%) report using only 2 or 3 positions during non-swinging fun. Younger swingers tended to do more positions than older swingers, for example, 16.3% of younger swingers reported 5 & up vs only 11.5% of older swingers.
Positions During Swinger Sex
One of the ways swinging sex apparently differs from vanilla sex is in the variety of sexual positions. Almost half (44.9%) of swingers reported 4 & up sexual positions during an average swinger play date. We again see younger swingers tending to do more positions than older swingers, with 26.3% of younger swingers reporting 5 & up vs 21.3% of older swingers.
Giving Oral Sex
Overall, swingers are open to giving oral sex to their play partners. Only 3.9% of survey takers report not being open or being open to performing oral only on their primary partner. Gender appears to matter more to men than women. Only a third (33.7%) of men were open to giving oral to other men compared to 75.3% of women being open to giving same-sex oral.
Receiving Oral Sex
People are somewhat more open to receiving same-sex oral than they are to giving it. 45.4% of men were open to receiving oral from the same sex compared to 88.5% of women were open to receiving oral from the same sex.
Giving Anal Sex
There is less acceptance for anal sex than oral sex in the swinging lifestyle, which makes sense with the prep work needed and greater STI risks. 45.7% weren’t open or reserved it for their primary partner. 21.5% of men were open to giving anal sex to other men. Only 23.7% of women were open to giving anal sex to men and/or women. Most women (55.9%) were not open to giving any anal sex during a swinging encounter.
Receiving Anal Sex
Most swingers (69.5%) were not open to receiving any anal or open only to receiving from their primary partner. 18.2% of men indicated being open to receiving anal sex from both women and men, while 14.2% reported being open to receiving anal from women only. 42.5% of women said they were not open to receiving anal during a swinging encounter.
Same-Sex Swinging Experiences
Interestingly, more swingers reported receiving oral sex (56.9%) than actually kissing a same-sex person (47.5%). Fully 90% of women reported receiving oral from another woman. 65.2% of male swingers have not had any same-sex experience compared to 5.9% of female swingers. 34.2% of younger swingers had no same-sex experience compared to 41.7% of older swingers with no same-sex experience.
Double Penetration
Overall, 80.8% of swingers are interested in some form of double penetration. However, 26.1% of women report having no interest in DP.
Squirting During Swinging
Women reported being less likely to squirt during swinging encounters than in their non-swinging encounters. This could be because swinger partners are less familiar with how to push their individual right buttons in their individual right order, or possibly women feel less comfortable to fully let go. A mere 5.4% of women report Always squirting during swinging encounters, while 32.9% report Never squirting while swinging. Older women report squirting more often during swinging than do younger women. However, squirting is not a given during non-swinging sex either. Only 5.9% of women said they Always squirt during non-swinging sex, and 27.2% said they Never do.
Orgasms During Swinging
Orgasms aren’t necessary to enjoy sex, but they are plentiful in the swinging lifestyle. 63.6% of respondents reported Always or Usually having an orgasm during swinging. Not surprisingly, there is an orgasm deficit between genders. 41.9% of men reported Always having an orgasm compared to just 19.6% of women. 23.8% of women reported they Rarely or Never have an orgasm during swinging compared to just 11.2% of men.
Orgasms During Non-Swinging Sex
The orgasm deficit carries over into non-swinging sex. 63.7% of men reported Always having an orgasm compared to 47.5% of women. 5.4% of women report Rarely or Never having an orgasm during swinging compared to just 2.6% of men.
Quality of Orgasms
Orgasms aren’t just about quantity, so we also asked about quality. Most respondents said they were about the same, but 27.7% reported swinging orgasms weren’t as good. Not surprisingly, we see the orgasm deficit continued in this question. 44.5% of women reported swinging orgasms not as good compared to 17.0% of men. Age did not make a big infleucne on the responses.
Faking Orgasm While Not Swinging
When swingers are not swinging, they aren’t faking orgasms. They are being honest with their primary sex partner. Women were slightly more likely to fake it compared to men, but overall, 80% of survey takers never or rarely faking an orgasm when not swinging.
Faking Orgasm While Swinging
There was a big increase in faking when it comes to swinging encounters, and it is driven by women with 35.5% of them faking orgasm at least sometimes while swinging compared to 15.6% of women faking in non-swinging moments. This is more evidence of a female orgasm deficit in the swinging lifestyle.
Preferred Swinging Locations
Swinging at hotels was the most common response at 37.4%. Homes combined for 30.3% (20.0% your home & 10.3% their home). Clubs (16.2%) & parties (11.0%) combined for roughly another third. Only 16.7% of women preferred swinging in their own homes compared to 22.2% of men.
Willing to Include While Swinging
Swingers were most willing to include blindfolds (72.2%) in their swinging encounters. 10.1% of swingers didn’t want to include any of the provided options. It was interesting that cuckolding had 40.5%, but humiliation play was only 10.3%. Women were less open to name-calling (22.0%) than men (30.2%). The genders had a bigger disconnect over being dominant, with women at 37.5% & men at 67.8%. The numbers flipped when it came to being submissive, with men at 45.5% & women at 63.0%.
Willing to Include When Not Swinging
The chart for swinging & non-swinging aspects seem similar at a quick glance, but if you look at the scale, you’ll notice swingers had an overall higher willingness to do more things when not in a swinging encounter. Apparently, swinging sex tends to be a bit more vanilla than non-swinging moments. Blindfolds were at 82.1% & none of the above was at 6.9%. The only activity that decreased was cuckolding from 40.5% to 28.9% in non-swinging encounters. The others averaged almost 10 percentage points higher than their willingness in swinger encounters, with bondage having the biggest jump from 53.9% to 70.7%.
Partner Arousal Difficulties
ED happens as well as other arousal issues. 4.8% of respondents said it happened to their swinging partners Always or Usually, and 36.2% said it happens Sometimes while swinging. Partner arousal issues were less common in non-swinging encounters with just 3.5% of respondents reporting Always or Usually.
Personal Arousal Difficulties
Respondents reported fewer personal arousal issues. In contrast to the data above, 61.9% of survey takers swingers said they rarely or never had arousal issues during swinging (for example, ED or lack of lubrication). That jumps up to 74.9% for their non-swinging moments.
Sexual Satisfaction When Swinging
We asked respondents to rate their sexual satisfaction when swinging on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being unsatisfied & 10 being satisfied. 81.8% rated it 7 or higher.
Sexual Satisfaction When Not Swinging
When we asked respondents about their sexual satisfaction from non-swinging moments, the scores improved a good bit. We see the percentage of respondents rating their satisfaction a 9 or 10 jump from 25.6% in swinging encounters to 64.8% in their non-swinging encounters. Perhaps nothing can beat the sex life they have at home, or perhaps swingers care more about the friendships & nonjudgmental space of the lifestyle than their sexual satisfaction. Yet more questions to explore in future surveys.
Bonus Couples Only Questions
This survey included an extra batch of questions that were asked to swingers who are in a relationship. This way, we can see how couples are behaving even if it might not match the stereotypical image of a swinger couple.
Not Sharing Fantasies With Their Partner
Swinging couples may have opened up their bedroom, but not all of them have opened up their desires to their own partners. 37.1% have some undisclosed fantasy. This was even higher for men at 39.7% than women at 33.1%. The younger & older swingers answered similarly.
Worry Partner Enjoys Swinging More
A common fear of curious newbies is if their partner will desire swinging more than their own intimacy. It looks like that fear lingers for 22.9% of coupled swingers. Women take the lead on this one with 28.3% responding yes, compared to 19.5% of men. There was also a disconnect in age groups with younger swingers responding yes 26.5% compared to older swingers at 19.8%.
Developed Romantic Feelings While Swinging
This is another common fear of people new to swinging. 13.8% said they had developed romantic feelings. Women were slightly more likely to admit to having developed romantic feelings at 16.8% compared to men at 11.7%. The age groups responded similarly.
Cheated Since Starting to Swing
Swinging doesn’t stop cheating. 12.6% of swingers admitted to cheating while in the lifestyle. Women may have struggled more with romantic feelings, but men take the lead with cheating. 14.4% of men admitted to cheating compared to 9.9% of women.
Done Things You Are Uncomfortable Doing With Your Partner
This was a bit of a vague question. Perhaps people felt this referred to bending personal rules, or maybe this was doing things they know their partner doesn’t enjoy. We can’t be sure about the sentiment, but we do know it was more common than cheating, with 15.9% responding it was true for them. Again this was more common for men, with 18.6% saying true compared to 11.7% of women.
Done Things That Would Upset Partner
We can be certain about the sentiment for this. 1 out of 5 swingers admitted they had done something during play that would make their primary partner upset. Men again were the bigger culprits with 22.2% saying true vs. 17.2% of women.
Feeling Guilty About Swinging Enjoyment
Almost 1 out of 5 swingers struggle with guilty feelings. In the comments field, it was common for religion to be mentioned when explaining these guilty feelings. There was an age disconnect with 26.6% of younger swingers saying yes compared to only 15.5% of older swingers saying yes.
Downplay Enjoyment During Swinging
As much as we see some couples admitting to cheating and not being the best partner, we see more swingers going out of their way to protect their partner’s feelings. Roughly 1 out of 3 swingers have downplayed their enjoyment. This was fairly consistent across gender & age groups.
Questions or Suggestions?
Let us know if you would like to discuss this research or a future research project.