Knock-knock. It’s the pineapple auditors. We are here to conduct a relationship audit on our favorite swinger couple – YOU. Pull out your receipts and take a seat with your special someone. We will walk through the good & not-so-great of the past to help you figure out the best way to achieve your bucket list moving forward.
Scheduling Your Swinger Audit
You should regularly check in with your special someone. Although informally touching base is nice, it can be easy to overlook things. We recommend doing a more structured check-in every few months or at least once a year. Looking back at a big block of time makes it easier to notice trends and patterns that can creep up on us without noticing. This will help you navigate the smoothest path through the swinger lifestyle.
Setting Up Your Relationship Check-In
Schedule private time without interruptions. Get comfy and put together some of your favorite treats. You want to ensure everyone feels comfortable and supported. There might be some sensitive topics or even unpleasant swinger experiences. Create a nice space for opening up and sharing.
If you are crazy busy, you can break this up into different segments. Each day, bring up one segment and chat about it. A nice thing about breaking it into segments is that it gives you time to reflect and sleep on it. The next day, you might think of a new perspective or suggestion to discuss.
We want to ensure we are building up the relationship & not dumping down on it. So, create a fun way to celebrate each agreement and achievement. After each topic, give each other a nice hug or kiss or another way to celebrate together. That will help build up your connection and make it easier to navigate more challenging lifestyle discussions this might uncover. Regular positive reinforcement is essential; don’t skip it!
There is no single right way to do this. Do what works best for you & your partner.
Relationship Checklist Questions
We are all at different places in our relationship journey & lifestyle exploration. Here are some suggested questions/topics. Look it over and figure out what works best for where your relationship is at.
Communication
- How would you rate our relationship communication?
- What do you like most about our communication?
- What would you like to improve about our communication?
Good Stuff
- What were the best moments of the year? Why?
- What made you feel most proud?
- Who are the best lifestyle influences to help us on our journey?
- What made you feel most grateful?
- What made you feel appreciated?
Not So Good
- What were the most significant challenges? Why?
- During challenging moments, what do you need from me to feel safe and respected?
- What worries you about the future?
- Are there any people or influences creating hurdles for us?
- What are the sources that caused you to feel stress?
- How can we better demonstrate to each other that we prioritize each other?
- How can I help you feel supported?
- What can I do/change to be a better swinger partner for you?
Work Assignment
- How do you feel about the balance of things? Family, work, money, affection, intimacy?
- Do you feel comfortable with how responsibilities are split up?
Looking Forward
- What has surprised you the most?
- Has your curiosity about bisexual lifestyle exploration changed?
- What would you like to be on our swinger bucket list?
- Are you comfortable continuing this journey through the swinger lifestyle?
Speak Up 🙂
- Is there anything you have wanted to share but haven’t?
Phew! That’s a lot to cover. Take your time. Don’t rush this. Feel free to take a breather if you uncover a particularly sensitive topic. Do something nice together. Follow up with it when you both feel comfortable. Remember, we want to build up your relationship, not spiral away and dump down on it.
PS – This is not the time for scorekeeping. We know some of you love data and analyzing things, but this isn’t the best time. We want to focus on collaborating & avoid competition. This is about working together for a better swinger journey. The lifestyle works best as a team sport :).