• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Swingers Help

Discover the sexy open relationship lifestyle

  • How to Swing
    • Swinger Etiquette
    • Safety Tips
    • Reviews & Resources
    • Free Book & Newsletter
    • Hotwifing
  • Swing & Tell
    • Podcasts
    • Swingfessions Comic
    • Share Your Story
  • Lifestyle Tips
    • Handling Emotions
    • Flirting Tips
    • Games
    • Hosting
    • Relationship Tools
  • Find Local Swingers
    • Most Popular Swinging Sites
    • Swinger Site Reviews
    • Club Directory
  • Travel
    • Guide to Desire Resorts
    • Guide to Swinger Cruises
    • Swinger Travel Tips
You are here: Home / Swinging Basics / Explaining Swinger Club Etiquette

Explaining Swinger Club Etiquette

To ensure your time at a swinger club is amazingly fun, you want to make sure you are up to speed on etiquette and manners.  Emily Post never really talked about how best to behave at a swinger sex club, so we are here to demystify and enlighten you sexy people.  Getting kicked out of the swinger club when naked isn’t fun.  So here is the etiquette guide to swinger clubs to keep the fun times rolling along.

Follow the Club Rules

Each swinger club has its own set of rules.  Find out their rules and respect them.  “No means no” is a common rule, but where nudity is or is not allowed can differ a bit for each club.  Most swinger clubs have rules on their website, so you can read them before you go.  You can also ask them to email their rules.  Being a good swinger means respecting the rules.  If you aren’t sure about something, ask the club.  Most swinger clubs have ambassador couples that will greet first-time visitors, give them a tour & answer questions.  Make sure you use the same rule book as everyone else in the club.

Be Clean

If you want an up-close sexy time, ensure you are well-groomed and clean.  Showering and shaving 12 hours ago doesn’t count.  Personal hygiene is a priority of good swingers.  Pay extra attention to your personal hygiene if you want better odds of making new sexy swinger friends.  Don’t go overboard with perfume or cologne.  Not everyone else might like your favorite scent.  When in doubt, go with unscented products.

Bring Your Sex Supplies

Some swinger clubs provide condoms, but you should still bring your own.  You don’t know if they will run out of supplies, have your preferred condom brand or size.  If you are allergic to latex or something else, bring plenty of condoms that work for you.  If you are considering bringing a sex toy, make sure you also have condoms for them because they can also transmit STIs if they are shared.  Honestly, you probably won’t want sex toys in a swinger club because you will have many helpful swingers willing to stand in for your sex toys.

Politely Accept Rejection

You don’t want to visit a swinger’s club feeling like you are guaranteed a sexy time.  You might not find another attractive couple that night, or the couple you find attractive might not share a mutual feeling.  Set low expectations.  Be polite when interacting with other people, even if they decline your swinging invitation.  The worst case is you go home with the sexiest person at the club – your own partner.

Don’t Bring Your Smartphone

Swingers greatly value their privacy and expect discretion from everyone at the club.  Leave your camera-equipped phone in your car.  If you need to make a call, head outside.  You don’t want anyone to think you are trying to secretly take pictures inside the swinger club.  Photos, snap chatting, and other social apps are not welcomed.  Privacy is paramount in a swinger club.

Playroom Politeness

If you have sexy playtime at the club, please be respectful to other people waiting to use the play space, which is usually in high demand.  Try not to linger too much in the private rooms if you aren’t using them.  If you were in the waiting line, you would like the same courtesy.  When you leave the play area, please throw out your garbage and take your drinks with you.  When excited, we can forget things but try your best to respect the play areas so that everyone can enjoy them.

Play Well With Others Around You

While you have a fun time chatting or having a sexy time, remember there are other people around, so don’t be obnoxiously loud or accidentally hit other people as you fling your arms & legs around.  Yes, swinger clubs are super exciting, but you aren’t the only person in the club.  If you want to lose control, get a hotel room or bring your new friends back to your home.

Respect Boundaries

When flirting with swingers or having sexy playtime with a new partner, be respectful.  We all have our own personal boundaries.  Ask them and ensure the excitement doesn’t overwhelm your good manners when in doubt.  Make sure you understand their dos and don’ts.  If they don’t want a thing and keep repeating it, stop!

Avoid Drama

Drama sucks and swingers don’t like couples that bring drama to the club.  If your relationship is having a bad day, then take a night off and do something special for your own relationship.  Even if your relationship has a good day, you want to avoid drama by talking about your own boundaries and play rules specific to your relationship.  Respect your partner and honor your mutually agreed-upon limits.  Don’t change the rules in the heat of passion because that can quickly lead to regret and drama.  It is safer to protect your relationship and wait till the next club event to change your relationship rules.

Be Cool & Not Aggressive

Act like you have seen a naked person before.  Be chill and don’t aggressively approach other people for sex.  Yes, swingers like to have sex, but no one wants to feel pressured or stalked.  Play it cool and give the other people in the club a chance to build a connection with you before you proposition them for sexy fun.  Practice your subtle flirting game and enjoy making friendly connections before trying to jump into bed.  Making people laugh, feel comfortable, and happy is one of the best ways for sexy playtime to become a reality.

Drink Responsibly

One of the worst mistakes at a swinger’s club is having too much to drink.  Being drunk will stop your sexy time and open you up to making many offensive mistakes towards other couples.  If you feel nervous, don’t try to drink more.  That is just a recipe for sabotaging yourself.  Ensure you stay hydrated with non-alcoholic drinks and keep your alcohol under control.

Sexy Body Language

We understand that many swingers will feel nervous when entering a new swinger club.  It can feel intimidating and scary.  Please be careful that your feelings don’t send out a bad vibe via your body language.  Crossing your arms and frowning at everyone isn’t nice to you or them.  Embrace your inner sexiness and let it shine through in your smile, your hand waving hello, and your hips having fun dancing.  You control whether or not you will have fun.  Choose to be a sexy & fun person.  Remember, the worst-case outcome is you don’t make a sexy connection with another couple and go home with the sexiest person at the club – your own partner.  That is an incredible worst-case outcome, so enjoy yourself and be happy.

Don’t Assume

You are going to meet many various swingers.  Some might be first-time rookies, and others might be long-time veterans.  Some might be soft swap kissing champions, and others might be full swap sex royalty.  Don’t assume everyone else is the same as you.  Ask about their play style and preferences.  Sex is very personal so take the time to learn about what they want to ensure you have an excellent four-way connection.  This will avoid mistakes and misunderstandings later in the night.

Ask Before Touching

Speaking of making assumptions, don’t assume it is ok to touch.  Always ask first.  Being friendly does not mean they are open to any sexy play.  Consent is sexy, so be extra sexy and always ask before touching.

Last Updated: July 18, 2022
Written By:Dr. Georgia
Tagged With: Etiquette

Primary Sidebar

Welcome to the Swingers Lifestyle

Welcome to Swingers Help! We’re Dr. Georgia & Will Fuchs, a married couple who have been enjoying our swinging time through the consensual non-monogamy community. Our experience hasn’t been perfect or drama-free but we don’t regret at all making the decision to start swinging. To share our swinging enjoyment, we authored the top ranked Swingers’ Little Helper book and provide free videos, articles, games, & relationship exercises on this site.  Join us as we share our insights on the swinging lifestyle.

Swingers Little Helper Book
Ready to Swing Quiz
Popular Swinger Sites

Join our monthly newsletter!

Swinging tips, games, free stuff & more!

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Popular Topics

Aftercare BBW Clothes Conversation Starters Cruises Deciding Desire Resorts Emotions Etiquette Fetish Flirting Games Group Play Health Hosting Hotel Takeover Hotwife Intimacy Race/Culture Relationship Help Religion Research Rules Safety Senior Swingers Single Men Single Women Technology Threesomes Tools Worries Young Swingers

Lifestyle Wisdom

Only Go As Fast As The Slowest Pineapple. Things are sweeter when they ripen at their own pace.  Enjoy the journey & don’t rush.

Swingers Help Copyright © 2025 · Contact Us · About Us · Privacy Policy · Affiliate Disclosure · SZC Log in

Only Go As Fast As The Slowest Pineapple