Shared by NENerds4EXP
I’ve seen many people asking about how to get their spouse interested in swinging, how to start swinging, how to interact with others, etc. I’d like to share my story that talks about these things, and hopefully it can help others interested in the lifestyle.
My wife (34) and I (38) have known each other for 14 years. We have only had each other during that time. The sex was pretty vanilla. I was always thinking of swinging in the back of my mind, ever since an ex-FWB introduced me to the concept. But I didn’t bring it up with my wife because of her upbringing and reticence to even really talk about sex.
Four years ago, however, I told my wife at a pool about a fantasy I had. I said it would be fun to have a threesome. She reacted the way most women probably do and dismissed bringing a woman into our bed. That wasn’t what I meant, though. I meant a threesome with another man. This threw her for a loop. She got turned on thinking about it, we had sex, then it wasn’t really brought up again for a good long while.
We would occasionally talk about that fantasy over the next few years. Usually the fantasy involved me and another man playing with her at the same time, sometimes taking turns, sometimes DP. It always turned her on.
So for her birthday last year, I broke out my writing skills and crafted a fictional story. Sorry, but I can’t share it because of personal details in it; suffice it to say that it is one steamy piece of literature. It made some assumptions about what our first visit to a swing club would be like, what it would be like talking with other couples, and then asking the man of the couple to come home with us. If I ever want to instantly arouse my wife, I have her read that story again. Hell, it instantly arouses me, too.
About a month and a half ago, we were having breakfast and suddenly, and I mean completely out-of-the-blue, my wife suggested we go to Hedo next year. Apparently, for some time, she had slowly been disabusing herself of her culturally-learned ideas on sex. A switch had been flipped. She is now willing to talk about sex much more, including ideas that made her uncomfortable before, like blowjobs, sex with other people, LS resorts, same-sex play, etc.
Her original plan was to not really do anything for a year and then, when we go to Hedo, we’d basically just watch and that’s it. I suggested we go to a local lifestyle club, first, and see how she fared.
Our intention was to go to a club, talk to couples, have sex with just each other there, then come home and talk about it. It went exactly like this, which also happened to line up very well with a portion of that story I wrote her. What we didn’t really plan on was how well we would connect with another couple, new to the LS as well, around our age. We got really lucky meeting them. Everyone was attracted to everyone else. We could all talk about non-sex stuff easily. It was like we had found our personality-dopplegangers.
So the facts that everything met our expectations and that everything could be well-controlled helped her to open up to the swinging concept. Every time we fucked, we fantasized about the other couple. At some point, my wife said she was going to “follow her hoo-ha” and agreed that full-swap with the couple was acceptable. We set the date. The couple was on board with it. From this point, my wife is C, the male half of the couple is R, and the female half is E.
We set our rules, which weren’t many. We decided that too many rules would inhibit the fun we could have, and may also indicate hidden insecurities. So they were that we play together only, no getting drunk (but drinking is fine), and no doing things that would be uncomfortable for anyone. Everything else was fine. We also had two words: a safe word and a sex word. The safe word would have us stop everything and go talk privately. The sex word would have us do whatever or whoever we wanted.
Fast forward to last night. We meet up with them again, at the same club. We are clicking like before. But this time, I got an ice-breaker game called Devil’s Wheel from the appstore. It’s free and customizable. It’s got some RNG problems, but it’s not bad. Anyway, we start it and some of the things it would have us do is I would massage E’s butt, R would massage C’s nipples, and other light stuff. Then the next level starts and it involves a lot of kissing. Super hot to see my wife C kissing E’s neck, or R sucking C’s tits. Once we got to the next level, which flat out said I had to get naked, then straddle and massage E, we moved our foursome to a king bed room. My wife uttered the sex word just as we start the naked fun. It doesn’t take long before we’re not even playing the game any more. It was amazing how organically all the action flowed.
C had all three of us kissing/sucking/licking her at once, which was her highlight. At one point, I’m fucking E, who is eating out C, who is being kissed by R. At another point, I’m fucking C while fingering E, who is making out with R. There were so many configurations I can’t possibly list them all. We were at the club for hours. My wife and I loved it! There’s just something about watching another man fucking my wife and kissing her deeply, listening to her moan in ecstasy, while at the same time his girl is pulling me into her so strongly that we both cum at the same time.
My only regret from that night is that we were too tired for reclamation sex when we got home. This, unfortunately, caused me to have insomnia. We had sex once we were both rested, but I think it would’ve been better immediately after our other fun.
We’re planning on going back to the club yet again, soon. This time on a night that should be quite busy. Maybe my wife will try out the gloryhole? We’ll see! No matter what, though, we had a great time and very much want to do so again. And when we go to Hedo next year, I guarantee we aren’t just going to watch (not that there’s anything wrong with that)!
It’s wise to stock up on sildenafil (or your preferred med). I never have a problem getting hard with my wife, but I read plenty of horror stories of guys being too anxious to get it up. I didn’t want that to happen to me, so I popped 40mg before we started our ice-breaker game. I had no problems getting hard after that.
We exchanged STD test results before meeting. Doing something like this really gives a peace-of-mind that helps the action flow much more naturally.
We used Kik for messaging. It worked very well. Only use Kik for logistics and light dialog. Some light teasing and innuendos are also fine. Careful not to do one-on-one convos that can be taken the wrong way.
There needs to be someone in your group that can plan well and coordinate. Without this person, unexpected events are more likely to occur, which can derail a good time.
Swing & Tell is a series of real life stories from real life people sharing their experiences with the swinging lifestyle. Please remember that everyone’s situation is unique so what someone experiences might not be what you will experience. Click here to share your story or read other swinger stories