Shared by CompanionCubeForever
I wrote this detailed post because I feel like most other “first time” posts are pretty simple (first time was either good or bad, now give me advice). I want to give more detail about what we saw and felt to hopefully give guidance to others thinking about trying something in The Lifestyle for the first time.
My husband and I (both in our late twenties) had our very first Lifestyle experience last week. We went to Collette in New Orleans while on vacation. We had talked about it for about….hmm, a month and a half or two months before going. I’m not gonna lie, I had my days where I really like the idea of playing with another couple, and then I had my days where I was afraid of STD’s and my feelings and thought maybe it was best we didn’t. Either way, I knew I was comfortable with and excited about going to the club and seeing what the atmosphere was like, and at least doing something with my husband while there. I have long been interested in being watched, so I figured we could use their voyeur room if nothing else. If we did find a couple we liked, I knew I was down for same room sex, but I honestly wasn’t sure after that. I know most people start with soft swap before full swap, but I don’t usually want oral at home, so I doubted I would want it from a stranger. But diving into full swap…kind of sounds crazy. But whatever, we probably won’t even find a couple that we like (especially knowing that most people in the lifestyle are in their 40’s and up and I really wanted someone close to our age, at least starting out).
Fast forward to the big day. Shave/trim everything, wear sexy undergarments, trying not to be sick with anticipation. We went on a Wednesday because that was the only day that would work for our schedule, but I didn’t mind because it was their “newbee” night and so it was cheaper, and hopefully would bring in other newbees so we wouldn’t feel so out of place (though I was worried no one would come out on a Wednesday). We get out of our Uber where the map said. I look at the address, find the right number on the building, and there is a guy who lets us in (he was just a dude chilling on the sidewalk, didn’t say anything about the club until we did to keep things discreet). They opened at 9pm, we got there around 9:15pm because the website said to get there early to guarantee a tour. I can see where that would be an issue on busy nights like holidays, maybe even Friday or Saturday, but for this night we could have gotten there whenever. There are two couples and a single guy (all definitely older than us) in line in front of us. My heart starts to beat fast. We’re actually here! The girl who checked us in was very nice and nothing was awkward so far. We gave our bottle of wine to the bartender (they don’t sell alcohol but you BYOB and the bartender has mixers and stuff), and then we got the tour. The place is smaller than I expect, but still plenty of space. Porn watching theater room, voyeur room, orgi room (Oh my god she said “for orgies” with a straight face, this is crazy!), bathrooms, condoms (we didn’t know if they had them or not, but had to bring our own anyway because my husband is large). The play rooms are simple, just a bed, a table with a lamp and tissue, and a tv showing porn (dang, porn everywhere). After the tour, we went downstairs and sat at a table by ourselves with our drinks and just people-watched for a bit.
Quickly see a guy giving his lady a hand job at the bar. Cool. Realize that my husband could grab my boobs like he does at home and no one would care! Neat! Everyone is older than us so we feel a little out of place, but that’s okay. Then, a couple calls us over. They were really nice, and we enjoyed talking to them about their experiences (they have been in the LS for about 4 years). They asked us what our goals for the night were, and we kind of explained that we’d never done anything like this and that we may just watch/be watched. They didn’t pressure us to do anything, but at the same time I felt pressured to give them an answer. I don’t think this is anything they did, I think I just knew that they would probably be interested if we were, and knowing that made me feel the pressure. You definitely have to be confident enough to say how you feel and what you want. We parted with them to try and catch a glimpse of people playing, but nobody was. There was a group of 3 couples (maybe 4?) who had gone to “the library” and were just doing their own thing. They went up their pretty quick, and it felt a little clique-ish. Based on who we talked to, a bunch of other people were also from out of town so these guys were probably the locals if I had to guess. There were more single guys than I expected, I think 4? They didn’t talk to us. People were still coming in from time to time, but I had about given up at this point since we weren’t attracted to anyone that we saw (largely the age difference, most of these people were pretty good looking).
I look over, and OMG! A group of people close to our age walk in, 3 girls and a guy. I try not to be extremely obvious, but I try to get a look at them and figure out what’s up. I didn’t have to wait too long before one of the girls came to talk to us. Two of the girls were here just to kind of check it out and didn’t have their guys, and the other girl and guy were a couple. We end up chatting to their whole group, and we all hit it off! Before they came over my husband and I both acknowledged that the couple was cute, so I knew we both had some interest. After we all talked at the bar for a while, I suggested we go find a quieter place to talk, and we went upstairs and sat on a big L-shaped couch and chatted some more. The couple had talked about the LS before, but had come to the club sort of spur of the moment, so they hadn’t really talked about things or done as much research as we had. We start talking about what we want to do, making it clear to them that they don’t have to do anything since it’s kind of sudden. We have a brief STD talk, she says they are clean, and we explain that we’ve been each other’s only partners and are also clean. She says that she wants to stay clean and couldn’t have sex with someone like this without testing first. Totally fair. We talk some more, and they are willing to try making out and same room stuff. Somewhere is here, my husband and I went back to the bar for something to give them a few minutes to talk without the pressure of us being there. I figured I would appreciate that if I were them, and it let us talk too. We have agreed they are hot, and my husband is definitely interested in full swap but we know she’s not so we didn’t talk much about it because we both agreed they’d stop before we would based on conversation. We go back upstairs, we awkwardly ask each other to play, and then we head to a private room and lock the door.
I’m not going into physical detail here. This isn’t a gone wild story.
This is where things escalated more than any of us expected. The other girl who seemed to be the most nervous and reserved just instantly gets naked, and the rest of us are surprised but follow suit. We start making out with our own spouses, but fairly quickly move around and swap. Now, before we decided to try this, I considered a lot of things. What I didn’t consider, was how different it would be to play with someone I didn’t know. He and I started kissing, and we just…weren’t compatible kissers? I love kissing so this was a major disappointment for me. I am not saying he was a bad kisser (I’ve only ever kissed 3 people, so it’s hard to say), but we had completely different styles. Also, different people smell different. Hands start roaming and everyone seems into it. The other girl starts doing oral on my husband, and so I feel like I should probably do the same. That’s different too. My husband is uncircumcised so that’s what I’m used to, so circumcised was simply different. More making out happens, and the guy asks me if I want him inside me. I believe I said “sure” which must have made him feel great. Anyway, he actually was about to go bareback before I stopped him and insisted everyone use condoms. He was really cool about it, it just hadn’t occurred to him since we didn’t discuss it beforehand. He didn’t bring any, but I know the club has some. My husband gets up and offers him one of his, but I point out that it’s probably the wrong size. Husband doesn’t think it will be a problem. So, we “full swap” at this point, and when he and I go to change positions after a few minutes and I get off of him, I notice that the condom is not on him anymore. I internally freak out, we look for it and it takes just a minute to figure out it’s under me, no big deal, pretty sure it just came off when he pulled out since it wasn’t tight enough. Problem was, it freaked me out enough that I didn’t want him inside me again. I feel bad about that because he didn’t do anything wrong, but I just couldn’t shake it. My husband had fetched the regular condoms and tossed them within reach, but I just grabbed my husband and wouldn’t let him go back to the other girl because I was too shaken to go back to the other guy. Just lots of emotions running high. I tell my husband that I just want him, he wants to do more with her but understands that I need him. We stay with our own spouses and all finish. I think we all orgasmed, so that’s cool. It was pretty sexy with her and I both screaming at the same time. There were a few other things. She got into the girl on girl more than I did and fingered me quite a bit. She asked to go down on me but I told her I wasn’t ready for that. There were also some moments where we were just all kind of intertwined and touching, kind of weird when you reach down and aren’t sure who’s limb you are caressing.
Anyway, we put our clothes back on and leave the room. Restroom break, find some germ-x, and after talking for a few minutes head to the bar to retrieve our stuff and get ready to leave. We hug goodbye, and they head off with their two friends while we wait for our Uber. My husband is worried about me because of my reaction in the room, but I tell him we will talk about it back at our place. We get back, and have good pillow talk about the whole thing, and it helps a lot. I had read about the importance of reconnection sex, and I could tell I needed it. We had some awesome sex where I insisted that he dominate me a little more than normal to show possession, and that made me feel a lot better. Still felt kind of down and weird the next day, just so many emotions and events to process. But, it lessened quickly, and I noticed I could feel myself getting excited when I thought about what had happened. We had gone from meeting a hot couple to having sex with them in only a few hours. How crazy! My husband and I had amazing sex all week, much more frequent than usual (being on vacation helps). And now here we are. I have no idea if we want to delve deeper into The Lifestyle or not, but I know that at this time I don’t regret the experience. My husband has some newfound confidence after a youth of being friend-zoned and feeling like girls didn’t like him that way. Confidence boost for me as well. I felt sexy through it all. IF we go to a club again, may stick to same-room-sex with touching, not sure, need more time to think about it. I do think, if we do more, I would like to try finding a couple that would be ongoing. One of the weirdest things for both of us was that afterwards they were just gone. Like, the experience was already surreal, and then you realize you don’t know their last names or how to contact them or anything. I was actually able to find them with a quick google search, but I don’t want to make them feel weird by contacting them (though I kind of want to, just to say that I hope they are okay and wish them the best). Was nice to find them though, because I almost needed proof for myself that they do exist and it actually happened.
If you’ve somehow made it this far and you are considering trying something like this for the first time, I hope this post had helped you in some way.
TL:DR Had our first lifestyle experience at a club while out of town. Got very lucky to actually meet a couple we were interested in. Boundaries were discussed but not thoroughly enough. Full swapped and had some awkward moments, but I think everyone still had fun. Not sure what’s in the future, but a good experience.
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