Shared by exhibit–A
My husband and I are both exhibitionists. We both like the idea of sex in front of other people but for obvious reasons, we don’t want to get caught/arrested for public indecency. We thought about posting sex videos online but worry we wouldn’t be able to maintain our anonymity and wouldn’t want our family ever stumbling on something like that. For those reasons, we thought a swingers club would be a safe place to indulge in exhibitionism.
We talked about what our boundaries would be beforehand. My husband said he was fine with all things hands but no mouths or actual sex. I have some bad insecurities about my small boobs and I felt like if I saw him really into feeling up some other woman with bigger breasts I would be crushed, especially since he tells me he really isn’t that into boobs, he’s more of a butt man. So we decided on no touching, just watching or being watched.
We are both in our thirties, extremely fit, and good looking so we were pretty popular at the club. We spent the first hour just taking it all in and making out occasionally. Also, we, unfortunately, were drinking a little much because we were nervous. We had a bunch of people watching us and we were watching back. A couple hours in we started messing around more, his junk came out, my dress went up and my top down. After a while, we sat back again and he slowly played with me while I sat between his legs and we watched the crowd. Then we were approached by a couple. They asked what we were into and we said it was our first time and were just going to watch. The woman was a little pushy though and kept asking what we were into. She pulled her top down and grabbed my hand and told me to touch her. I was drunk so it seemed like a good idea and my husband seemed to be into it. We ended up messing around with them. My husband and I kissing, alternating with her sucking my boobs, me hers, and our husbands fingering the other girl. She told my husband he could touch her boobs and I wasn’t feeling insecure so I told him to go ahead but he said no, just to be safe. She pushed me to give her husband a bj but I said no and things wrapped up a little bit after that. My husband and I had sex after that and another couple came and sat next to us and the wife reached over to play with me while we both rode our husbands. We left a little while after that.
So I learned that I suck at sticking to my own boundaries. That drinking so much and swinging are a bad idea, and that for some reason I wasn’t jealous in the moment. I’m still trying to figure out if we should go back. My husband was completely fine with the whole thing but said we needed to stick to our boundaries because we were just lucky that not doing that didn’t end worse.
Part of me questions why we are even doing this in the first place. We have an amazing relationship and a freaking awesome sex life already. Swinging is fun but it does come with a lot of risks. Should we put our relationship at risk just for a little bit more excitement?
Then I wonder why I wasn’t jealous. I “think” it was because my husband and I were making out throughout us being with the other couple. It wasn’t so much we were having a sexual encounter with other people, as we were using the other people, to make our own sex hotter. I think if we had just swapped I would have been jealous. Seeing my husband really into someone else would be hard for me to swallow due to my own insecurity issues. Surely, other women who swing deal with this.
Then there is the imbalance of good looking women and ugly men. If my husband and I were both single, and the swingers club was a bar, he would have had multiple women who he would have been interested in pursuing. For me, there was ONE guy who was good looking, in shape, and close to my age. As my husband commented when we left, it looks like I would be taking one for the team more often than not. Which again raises insecurity issues, my husband would not have to worry about me finding another guy more attractive than him, I, however, would have some serious competition. I know, I know, my husband is not with me just for my looks. Those other girls don’t have all the other things I have to offer him but tell that to my subconscious. I just don’t know if I can get passed that.
All the potential downsides aside, we did have fun and it was exciting. I had never done anything with another girl besides kiss and while touching her wasn’t exciting in and of itself exciting (it felt a bit like touching myself) it excited my husband which made it exciting for me. My husband definitely enjoyed all the lusting after me he saw going on and I enjoyed that as well. We really liked putting on a show for other people. The dressing to the nines and being as sexy as I wanted without having to worry about people giving me derisive looks, and instead just showing appreciation, was very refreshing. Being able to go at it whenever we felt like it was also really liberating. I enjoyed the experience too much to say we will never do it again but at the same time thinking about going again gives me anxiety and makes all my insecurities flare up.
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