Shared by Anonymous173
This is going to be a long story, but I feel like it is important to tell it and get it off my chest. I (female, bi-curious 23yo) and my now fiancé (male, straight 28 yo) have been together for about 6 and a half years, basically since I was 16. We started talking about the swinging life since I was 18 and a year later we decided to give it a try.
A little bit of chronology, for the sake of the story. My first ever encounter was with a much older guy of about 45 years, which at the time I thought that being more mature and experienced would be better, it wasn’t bad but not great either. Then a younger guy of about 28 years, followed by a couple of around the same age.
We took a break for a while and decided to try again when we were on holiday in Amsterdam, I hooked up with 3 different guys and another couple, all in a week worth of time. My fiancé, which I will call AG, is more of a cuckold type of guy, he participates whenever he wants, but mostly likes to watch.
Forward to a few months later, at the beginning of summer of 2018, I was approached over Facebook by this sweet and good looking guy, saying he found me on a dating site but wasn’t a paying member so he searched by my first name (not a common name in the country I live in, and not wise of me either – lesson learned). He seemed like a really decent human being, probably the first one that didn’t start the conversation with a dick pic.
We talked for a while and thought we had good chemistry, it turned out he also lived like 3-400m away from me. I and AG talked about it and he agreed to give me more freedom and meet with this guy alone if I felt like it. After a few days of talking, I decided to sneak out of the house and give it a try, not knowing if I’ll end up having a good time or get myself murdered.
Now, I am the shy type, so sneaking out while AG while sleeping was my way of not feeling guilty about wanting to meet with another man and also not keeping him awake all night thinking of what might or might not happen.
Even though he lived close by, I took the car and drove to the address he gave me, which was a quiet and dark-ish neighborhood. I couldn’t see the house numbers so I asked him to get out. Out of nowhere, he knocked on the passenger window and I got out. I was scared shitless, partly because it felt weird to meet with him, partly because I had no idea of what I’m getting myself into.
We went inside the house and talked for a few good hours. He had this deep but soft voice, talking softly and try to get me to calm down as I was very shy. As much as I liked it, we speak different languages as mother tongues, so his almost whispering in English made it really difficult to understand him at times.
We laid down on the sofa after a while and he began to softly touch me, running his hand from top to bottom ever so gently, I could almost say he treated me like I was fragile, at the time. He slowly pulled my dress up and began touching me so soft yet firm. I can’t remember exactly how it happened, but we went into his bedroom, he tied my hands, blindfolded me, and fucked my brains out. Even though I was shy, I like rough sex and being used, so he was well aware of that.
I must admit, AG is not that great when it comes to size, but he does his best. This guy had a really nice dick, which I deeply enjoyed feeling deep inside me. We fucked until around 5 AM when he had to leave for work shortly after. While I was getting dressed, I couldn’t find my panties so I left without them – when I told him about it, later on, making it seem like I am not sure, he denied having them, which I found a bit weird, but both I and AG laughed about it and moved on.
I went home to my sleeping fiancé and told him everything that happened, he was amazed that I actually had the guts to do it. He got horny, we fucked, and went to sleep.
Now, I kept talking with this guy and we ended up being some kind of friends with benefits. I actually liked him so much, I got attached to him and ignored every red flag about him, and let me tell you they were plenty. I think we fucked like 2 more times and I met with him just to give him a blowjob once or twice, can’t remember exactly before he went silent for a few good months.
I often felt that I was taken for a fool or that he ignored me, he would agree to meet just for him to cancel last minute and give me lame excuses, like he had a zipper accident and his dick is bleeding or that his grandmother died (maybe she did, maybe she didn’t). Now, I am one that usually knows bullshit when I see one, but I decided to ignore it and think it was all in my head because I liked him that much and he was really sweet but only when it suited him. I enjoyed talking to him or having his attention, therefore why I acted with my pussy and not with my brain.
Fast forward to a few months later, he texted me out of nowhere, saying he went through a rough period (he has lupus, or so he says) and made it seem like it was related to his illness. Of course, he was again nice and sweet and I fell for him, again.
I invited him over to our house, even though AG was not so thrilled about it – he is a graphic designer and was working from home for an important project, so he just said hello, met the guy, and went back into his office. He wasn’t happy about him coming over, but I acted selfishly and he agreed for my sake. I actually found out later he didn’t really like the guy when he met him, but I seemed happy with him so he went along and didn’t want to be the “I told you so” guy.
I ended up giving him a blowjob and he left shortly after.
Now, we all had this fantasy in which he would cum deep inside me, and we thought about it for almost a year up to that point, so we decided to make it happen. AG did it twice and the Plan B worked for me with no problems. Said and done, I went to him and ended up fucking for all night until early morning. I left his house with his cum dripping down my panties, still warm when I got home. AG jumped on me and needless to say, he cummed inside me as well, I took a picture of my dripping pussy which I sent to that guy but with no response, and then I went to sleep.
He went to the drug store as soon as it opened to purchase the Plan B, he woke me up, I took the pill and went back to sleep.
Now, we had to leave for Wien as one of AG’s clients had a launch party for his business and invited us over with all expenses paid for. We planned to go to our homeland for a month after that, so I texted this guy if he’s up for a blowjob before I leave, again with no response.
We partied, we drank and enjoyed the green stuff, we had a really good time while in Wien but it was exhausting and was looking forward to going to my homeland and relax. Shortly after I became really tired, many times I fell asleep in the middle of the day from feeling exhausted from doing nothing. Pregnancy went through my mind, but I didn’t take it seriously. My period was late and never came, but I always had issues with the timing of my period, a long time ago it skipped a month without any reason so I just thought it was one of these times and didn’t give it any more thought.
The whole month I was in my homeland I refused to take a test, partly because I didn’t want to ruin the time spent with my family, partly because I couldn’t accept the reality of the situation.
As soon as we came back to the country we live in, I immediately took 2 tests which took literally seconds to show a positive result. My world shattered, I couldn’t believe it was true. I threw the tests in the trash just to find myself later looking for them in the garbage because they were mine to keep.
We talked about it and decided to make an appointment with my GP which took about 1 week or so. I and AG thought that guy is the baby father (I literally had his cum inside me for 10-15 at least and yes, it was a lot of it) and all I wanted was to talk to him and inform him about all this. However, AG had a different opinion and thought it’s best if he doesn’t know, saying it’s pointless for him to know if I decide to terminate it and so I decided to keep him out of it.
During the examination, my GP said I might be more further into the pregnancy than I thought and scheduled me for an ultrasound with the OB-GYN the next day, informing me that the legal limit to get an abortion is 12 weeks and I am close, if not past that, which then would be legally binding to continue to term.
The next day I went to the hospital for my appointment and was asked if I want to see the fetus, I nodded and I think I saw my baby for maybe less than 3 seconds before I lost it and I burst into tears when he turned the screen away and I never saw it again. The doctor confirmed I was close to the limit, but asked for a supervisor to come and check on me and give an opinion. They confirmed I was 12w4d and that if I wanted to proceed, it had to happen the next day or it would be too late. They mentioned the baby had a strong beating heart and seems healthy, which broke me into pieces. I was so heartbroken, I think the doctors had pity on me, they showed a lot of compassion afterward and informed me that if I wish to continue the pregnancy, I just need to give them a call and not show up the next day.
I cried the whole day, we weighed all the options, AG was very supportive and said he would be by my side regardless of what I choose, but will never be able to love the baby as his own, after all, how could he.
I decided to continue with the abortion, sobbing the whole time and making everyone around me sad, you could see it in their faces they felt sorry for me, regardless if they knew what’s happening or not.
They prepped me and showed me to the OR, everyone was so sweet and compassionate, when all I had was fear and regret. I was so devastated, they brought AG to the OR to hold my hand while I was put under to make me feel better and safe – this is absolutely not part of the protocol, neither is general anesthesia! But I am forever grateful for those doctors and the decision they took in order for me to feel better.
Ever since I decided to continue on this path I fell into a depression which only got worse as soon as I left the hospital. I cried for days and days until I literally had no more tears left to cry, I had suicidal thoughts but didn’t have the guts to do it. On top of all of that, my neighbors had a recently born baby, constantly crying. I used to open the window to hear It better and I would just lay and cry my heart out.
It’s been almost a year since the procedure and there wasn’t a day I haven’t thought about it. Thing is, I think about that idiot just as much as my baby, he is always on my mind. A few months later, I decided to send him a text on his number, telling him what happened with no response. Months went by, some were better, some were worse. Recently I decided to send him a message on Facebook, because I felt like I didn’t have any more air to breathe because of him. I told him everything. All I feel is rage in every bone, all my happiness is gone and I am completely changed, sometime I feel like I have nothing forward to look up to. He completely shut me off since I last saw him that night, no interest whatsoever in how I’m doing, if the pill worked, nothing.. radio silence. He deserved to know how his actions impacted me. And I do hate him with all my heart, but all I want from him is to say something, anything. Instead, he blocked me and continued to ignore me, but at least I know he is aware. Somehow, it released pressure off my chest, but I feel like it is not enough.
I was stupid for trusting him, I was stupid to keep seeing him when my gut always told me he is a complete asshole. I just want him off my mind and I don’t know what else I have to do to get some peace.
During all this time, AG was very supportive and always gave me time and space, he always encouraged me to talk about it with him if I feel like it and not keep things inside. But how can I tell him that all I think about besides my baby is that complete waste of a human being? This guy completely destroyed my life, but I blame myself for it just as much.
I don’t know what else I have to do to get through this. I want to get better, I want to be happy again and enjoy the life I have.
This story would be so much longer if I expressed everything I feel and everything that happened. But all these made me stronger in a way, made me wiser.
I know my story might be irrelevant to many, but it might help a few who find themselves in a similar situation. Don’t go through this alone, seek help, and consider what is best for your own sake first, not the ones around you. If you’ve read my story and came this far, learn from the mistakes I’ve made, consider them, and be better.
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