Shared by thegoodvice1234
TLDR: We had our first couples swap/swinging experience two weeks ago with literally the first couple who reached out on Reddit, who happened to be sexy, down-to-earth, fun, patient, and share our kinks, and it was better than we could have hoped. It was fun and playful and erotic and went on for more than six hours and we’re planning to see each other again in January.
So the full story (sorry, I tend to be verbose):
I think our experience was unique in a lot of ways, compared to what I’ve read from other folks on here.
For one, we’re in a secure poly relationship (I’ll refer to my partner as “Lady”) and the two of us have been dating a few months (so, not married for 5+ years like seems common in the LS). Secondly, we’re both late bloomers sexually and I think we bring a sort of passion or intimacy or naivete to our romances that I think might not be super common for folks our age (both in our thirties), and we’re also super enthusiastic about sexual exploration (which is what brought us together).
Thirdly, the idea of swinging wasn’t something we debated about for a long time… it was one conversation (which I instigated) and then we were on board. We decided we’d make a Reddit account as a couple to put out feelers and kind of see the lay of the land. However, before that even happened, chance knocked on our door.
I had posted some pics on my personal Reddit of us trying shibari. u/Luckyguy1899 (LG) reached out saying he and his girlfriend (I’ll refer to her as “M”) were also interested in shibari and would love to do it with another couple. We moved to Kik and exchanged some pics, talked about STI testing, etc.
We scheduled a video chat. During the video chat, they came off as charming, fun, and sexy. They had swapped once before, so relatively new at it like us. The conversation flowed easily and naturally, with no red flags. Everyone was on board for a full swap, we shared common kinks (BDSM, no hangups around butt stuff, etc), we all felt good after checking in at the end of the chat. There was some discussion about what a meetup might look like, and specific sex acts that we all were interested in trying that, let’s just say you need more than two people for (it was getting hot and exciting!).
After that, we continued to share more sexy clips on Kik. We liked the back-and-forth, we felt like we were getting to know them and that there was good chemistry. We scheduled the meetup at my place for a few weeks after the initial video chat.
But as the date got closer, I certainly started to get nervous, mostly about performance anxiety, as I’ve never been so close to a guy in a sexual context and never been with more than one partner at a time, and I had no idea how I would react. I talked this out with Lady who was very supportive, and when I mentioned it to the couple in our group chat, and they were very supportive too. Ok great.
So the day arrived. The two of us were nervous but excited. We had cheese and crackers ready to go for appetizers, and plenty of white wine stocked up (so we wouldn’t have to worry about spills), and also plenty of everyone’s favorite snacks for breaks and aftercare.
Lady and I cracked open a bottle of wine to calm our nerves a bit. They texted us that they arrived, we went out to greet them. LG was way taller than we realized, and they both looked even better in person than in any pictures or videos, IMHO. We welcomed them in, poured some wine, started on the cheese and crackers, and had some small talk. It was flowing easily and naturally. We smoked a joint. Everyone was in a real good mood. M asked if she could tie some shibari on Lady, since she was excited to tie a harness on someone more “well endowed.” Lady said sure, she asked Lady to take off her shirt, which she did. Lady sat in her lap on the couch as she wrapped and tied the rope harness.
It was a little bewildering and magical for me as we transitioned from four people sitting around chatting, as I’ve done many times in life, to become clear that we were transitioning to group sex. M transitioned from tieing the shibari harness to rubbing and caressing Lady. It was a huge turn on to watch the two of them transition like that. I was watching Lady’s face to see what emotions she might be experiencing (we both identify as straight, so this was the most non-straight experimentation Lady had done up until this point in her life). She looked like she was enjoying herself.
After watching the two of them for a little while, LG and I each moved in on each side, caressing, kissing. It was getting really hot. LG suggested, why don’t we move to the bed where there’s more room to spread out? Everyone thought that sounded like an excellent idea.
So, from that point on we were playing for the next six hours or so. I don’t think either of us had expected it to last that long but also definitely were not angry about it (like three or four hours would also have been good in my book). It was mind-blowing to see how committed everyone was to everyone else’s pleasure, and all the sensual kissing, caressing, laughing, and hand-holding. There was great communication and people’s desires and boundaries were expressed and honored throughout the evening.
I think my “performance anxiety” did ultimately affect me and I didn’t “put on as strong of a performance” as I usually do, with my cock anyway. Everyone was totally supportive but it left me feeling pretty self-conscious at certain moments, which probably exacerbated the issue. It was fun to use my hands, mouth, and toys, and eventually got my cock in working order, but I felt a little emasculated. I think next time I’ll try to avoid alcohol completely, at least at the beginning. I’ve also played with the idea of viagra, which I’ve never used before (any insight on reactions with viagra and alcohol/cannabis?)
We did full/hard swaps, but also each couple spent a lot of time together, and we also would all gang up on one of the women on occasion for group spanking/choking. It was super fun to do that type of intimate play that the two of us normally enjoy together, with other people. We also were able to sort of watch Inglorious Basterds in the middle of it all, which was super sweet to basically “Netflix and chill” with another couple.
The whole experience was sort of ecstatic, but one of the highlights for me was holding Lady’s hand and having that back-and-forth tactile communication while she was being fucked by another man and enjoying herself in that way. Even though we’ve been dating a relatively short time, the experience definitely brought us that much closer.
Something I’ve reflected on is I think it was good that we went slowly and were intentional with LG and M. We’ve encountered other couples in the interim who have been flaky, or were looking for a quick fuck (“are you guys available tonight” as the opening message, for example) which is great if that’s your thing, but I definitely don’t think we would have had such a glowing experience if we had rushed it. One experienced couple told us that at some point we’ll want and pursue the “quick fuck” too. For now, at least, being slow and intentional seems to have got us what we couldn’t exactly articulate we were looking for: good chemistry with people we’d enjoy spending time with outside of the bedroom as well.
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