Hotwifing isn’t just a kink for couples. There are plenty of single men who covet married women and love exploring the different sexual aspects of it.
How can a single man dip his a toe in the hotwifing lifestyle? There is definitely a demand for good single men or husbands going solo. After all, hotwifing wouldn’t work at all if it wasn’t for the bulls and bucks.
Despite there being a good bit of demand, it is not particularly easy to get a hotwife date. A single man can be up against some pretty stiff competition (pun partially intended). A little persistence and know-how can put you ahead of others with finding hotwives who would be only too happy to play with you.
Before getting in too deep, think about your reasons for exploring hotwifing as a single man. If you think that this is an easy way to get laid, think again. It is easier to find and seduce a single lady at a vanilla club or bar. Remember that the couples who are into hotwifing are living out their fantasy so you will likely have to get the green light from both of them, often making it harder than hooking up with single women. Now that we have cleared up that common misconception, let’s go on.
How to Start Looking?
The easiest and most obvious place to start if you are a single man looking to get into hotwifing is online. Skip the vanilla sites and head straight to the non-monogamous lifestyle sites. You can browse the local profiles to find a hotwife hook-up.
If you are new to hotwifing, it would be wise to do some research beforehand so you know what is generally expected of a good bull and what to avoid so you don’t sabotage your chances. This knowledge will help you when it comes time to contact other profiles and avoid insulting anyone by accident. Different hotwife couples will have different kinks. For example, you could get talking to one who likes cuckolding, another who is a Vixen and Stag. Sometimes the husband will want to be present for the sex, either involved or watching, and others the hotwife will want to meet up with you for sex alone. Make sure you understand the lingo and know what they mean so you can decide what type of arrangement is right for you.
Have some good quality pictures that show both your face and body and take some time to fill out your bio. You are more likely to attract interest if it looks like you have made an effort. Don’t send intimate pictures straight off. Sometimes unsolicited pictures like this can come across as overly aggressive and be a turn-off. It is very possible the hotwife you are talking to could want to see your equipment eventually, but let her ask to avoid ruining your chances.
Make sure to take some time to read the hotwife or couple’s bio. If you show genuine interest in a hotwife, she is more likely to feel special and this is what it’s all about for a lot of women.
Meeting In Person
A bull’s role is strictly sexual which is a very different mindset than most experiences from dating in the single world. Ask yourself if you are okay with this position. Don’t ever expect to be number one in a hotwife’s world even if you have a recurring meetup. Her husband will always come before you and always be number one. Staying on his good side is the best way to ensure things go smoothly and you don’t get voted out of the pool by him.
Speaking of staying on her husband’s good side – make sure you are always respectful to both of them whether you ever meet him in person or not. How you show your respect and appreciation will likely vary depending on your individual personality and the particular kinks you share, but it comes down to being a decent human and treating others with kindness. Sure, being kind looks a little different if your hotwife’s husband enjoys being humiliated while you play with his wife, but you get the point.
You can connect with couples or hotwives out solo at clubs, parties, and hosted events. Don’t be surprised if you are competing with a few other bulls at these lifestyle events. Be confident in your approach but don’t be overly pushy or get lured into a silly sword fight with another wannabe bull. No hotwife is looking for drama or an immature single man.
Since the odds will be stacked against you at these lifestyle events, you should become comfortable with approaching couples. As a single man, you are far less likely to be approached. So be proactive and put yourself out there. Be polite and chatty and take it from there.
Developing Your Reputation
After you get to know some people within the swingers and hotwifing community, you can ask them to certify/verify your online profile. Having others award your online profile a certification or verification (depending on the site you use) will greatly help your efforts connecting with others. It shows you are real and have earned someone’s trust, which can set you apart from other single men making hotwife mistakes.
Hotwives tend to talk with other hotwives. If you want to be referred to other hotwives, make sure to pay attention to each woman you meet. The better you can satisfy her fantasies, the more likely she is to recommend you to her hotwife friends.
You will be more successful as a new bull the more accommodating you can be. If what they are seeking falls within your comfort zone, do all that you can to help the hotwife or couple truly live out their fantasy to a point the experience was exactly how they imagined it would be. Go the extra mile when it comes to compliments, and always show your appreciation.
Being accommodating does not mean that you should agree to things that make you uncomfortable. As a bull, you have every right to set your own boundaries and limits too. Don’t be afraid to turn down offers that aren’t a good match for you. Be honest about what you are looking for, and eventually, you will find it.
Let yourself experiment and be honest about being new to the lifestyle. People in this lifestyle are usually more than willing to give advice. Remember to enjoy yourself. Every hotwife wants to know her bull gets off by delivering her fantasy. Be a good bull, show her that you are as into it as she is, and chances are that she’ll come back for more.