So you’re a single lady, who wants to do your own thing? Maybe you heard about swinger clubs on some TV show. After some Google searching, you tell yourself, “Hmm, this sounds interesting!” Or maybe you’re a single lady who is open-minded and a friend suggested trying a different sexual experience. If you have never been to a swinger club, you probably have a lot of questions right now.
Is there gonna be sex in every corner of the place? What if someone comes up to me and I don’t want to be with them or with anyone? Am I allowed to say no? Will there be more women or men? Ladies, we are here for you! We have prepped these top tips to help make sure your club experience is a fun one.
Visit the site
And we mean, the website. These days even discreet swinger clubs have websites filled with helpful information. Not knowing what you’re getting into is a reasonable fear and a big source of anxiety. Knowledge is a great way to defuse those worries especially if you’re a single going solo.
If this is uncharted territory for you, read over the club rules on their website. If anything is unclear, don’t hesitate to use their contact form and ask specific questions. Do they have ambassador couples that will provide a tour & answer questions for first-time visitors? Which nights are couples only and which nights are single men allowed (if any)?
Join your local swinger site and check out their forums to discover what experienced swingers think about the swinger club. Is it a scam? It is smelly & rundown? Is it heaven on earth? A few minutes of online research will help protect you and might uncover invaluable tips. Like is it a gravel parking lot that will chew up your fancy high heels or is it only BYOB? Knowing what to expect and how to prepare/pack will really help you have a fun time.
The outfit, breath mints, and realistic expectations – you are ready! You’ll be entering a club of open-minded adults who are looking to have fun with other open-minded adults. So you are most likely gonna see the usual Friday nightclub action but with some extra kissing and a good bit of skin showing and maybe even more.
You’ll find the insides are similar to a regular nightclub with a few extras. Clubs often give tours to new people. After your tour, you can visit the bar area for a drink or pour your own drink if it’s a club without an alcohol license.
If it is an on-premise club (aka sex is allowed inside the club), there will most likely be some significant activity going on in a corner or backroom that you’re not used to seeing in your usual nightclub. If it is in the general area you can watch but please don’t gawk that’s rude in swinger clubs. Most, if not all people inside the club are couples wanting to connect with others. If you aren’t interested in a threesome, make sure you go on a night that single men are allowed inside.
Being the single lady aka a “unicorn“, don’t be surprised if many people are interested in you and plenty of verbal offers come your way. Thankfully consent is uber important to swingers so you shouldn’t have to worry about any unwanted touching. If anyone does make you feel uncomfortable you should tell the organizers who will quickly deal with it for you.
You control the speed
If you’re a single lady who prefers to take it slow, this is the place for you. You are in control of how much or how little happens. You are the captain of your own self-exploration. People come to a swingers club to find sexy connections with other people, so if you see any that are appealing you can get to know them better. If you aren’t attracted to them, you don’t have to do anything.
To boost your odds of a fun time, it can be wise to try to get ahead of your feelings. We already talked about how becoming informed can defuse feelings of anxiety and fear. How about prepping some strategies to overcome nervous feelings so you can more easily approach others? The more you can emotionally prepare, the better chance you will have of achieving whatever goals you want inside the club.
Embrace your inner social butterfly
These parties are the place of open-minded people who are ready to have fun. If you’re single and ready to mingle, this is the time to let your social butterfly out. You may want to sit in a corner and have a feel of the place first until you get acclimated to the scene. When you feel comfortable let your butterfly wings fly.
Especially if you’re a single lady who is a bit shy swinging, this is a great opportunity to hone your social butterfly skills. You will likely be surrounded by very supportive strangers or as we like to think of them soon-to-be-friends. This may be the weirdest place to work on your flirting and social comfort but the atmosphere in a swingers club is very accepting, which makes it a good place to gain real-life experiences to boost your confidence. Unlike vanilla club, swingers don’t bite when you strike up a conversation.
Don’t get attached.
Besides sex, another big way that swingers clubs differ from vanilla clubs is swingers aren’t looking for deep emotional connections. Like any club, it’s normal to make a connection with a fellow stranger. Maybe more so, after a couple of drinks and some flirting, you hit it off together.
Being a sexy unicorn, people will try their best to get your attention, earn your trust, and end the night in heaven with you. Just remember that almost no one is looking to find a long-term girlfriend or boyfriend inside the swinger club. Most of the attendees are couples who only want to have some fun & don’t want to break-up their amazing relationship. So remember you’re in a swingers club where people mostly just want to have fun and aren’t really interested in long term relationships.
Decide for yourself
Let’s be honest, the swinging lifestyle is not for everyone. If it’s your first time seeing all the action, you should decide for yourself whether you want to pursue it or not. You are a special lady and should only do what is best for you.
As a single lady, you should ask yourself, what is your goal? Do you want to explore your sexual fantasies and maybe learn a trick or two in bed? Then go enjoy your local swingers club. If you want a lasting relationship, there are probably better places to be spending your time than a swingers club. Of course, you can multitask like checking out the vanilla online dating sites during the day and embracing your sexuality at night in the swinger club. Ultimately you should figure out what you want so you can be your own best advocate and achieve those goals.
Hopefully, this helped enlighten you and taught you a thing or two about the swingers club. If you enjoy it, then good for you! If you don’t, then don’t force it. It can be a very fun experience but it is not always the experience that every single lady wants. If you want are looking for more of an emotional connection with swinging friends you might