Most couples take up hotwifing to enjoy its many fun and sexy elements. It is very easy to get carried away with thinking about the exciting parts and overlook that, like everything else in life, there are some risks. So wise precautions should be taken and discussed beforehand.
Depending on your arrangement, it is likely that you are inviting a stranger into the mix. That’s already daunting enough when the two of you are present but there is a whole new level of risk involved when a woman goes out to meet a stranger on her own.
The good news is that some precautionary screening beforehand provides better protection. This can put both your minds at ease and will probably allow you to relax and enjoy the experience even more.
The most common place that couples look for a bull these days is online. There are a lot of great lifestyle sites out there now that allow for reviews and meet-up verifications from other local lifestyle couples. Having other people’s stamp of approval is always a big plus because it suggests that they have met that person offline before and would recommend him to others.
You can also read the bull’s online profile, take a look at their pictures, and get a feel for the type of person they are. For some couples, the bull is strictly there for sex and so maybe you feel like you don’t need to know his whole life story but making sure you are both on the same page with what you are expecting and what your boundaries are when you do meet up can save a lot of hassle. You may also find that someone that initially looks good on paper/screen isn’t sexually compatible with your personality and tastes.
Check For Chemistry
One problem with internet dating is that, even if you love their pictures (hopefully, they are current pictures) and find them physically attractive, you can never really tell if there will be chemistry in real life. This is why chatting with them for a bit beforehand can be worth your time and effort. On top of being better able to judge if they can hold normal conversations, you may get some idea if there is any sexual spark or chemistry from regular chats. Ideally, this would involve both of you first because even if the husband isn’t going to be all that involved with his hotwife and her bull’s interaction, the husband can still provide a valuable second opinion of the potential bull.
He may pick up on something being a man himself that his wife may have missed. It’s also important that you both agree on the bull that you do end up going with and it isn’t a one-sided arrangement where that is concerned. In the most robust relationships, a hotwife finding a bull attractive is not the only requirement for moving forward; typically, her stag weighs in on if he deems the bull worthy of sharing his wife with.
If you can arrange a video call where at least one of you gets to chat with your prospective bull, this can go a long way to firstly proving that they are indeed who they say they are and that their pictures aren’t stolen or from ten years ago. It can also give you a better idea if you will be attracted to him and get a sense of who he is as a person.
Don’t Rush It
Ideally, you should meet at least once for a somewhat laidback casual date night before proceeding to anything intimate. Either both or one of you should meet him in a public place and maybe have a few drinks to break the ice and get a real feel for him before you….well, get a real feel for him.
If the first meeting is at a bar or other public spot, the husband can hang back and observe from afar in case you don’t want him closely involved. You can even create secret signals such as holding your drink in your right hand if everything is good and holding it in your left if you are uncomfortable so you can stay in synch despite being on opposite sides of a room.
If everyone agrees that everything seems to check out, you can then head somewhere more private then and there or organize it for a different night. Either way, chances are you will feel a lot more comfortable after spending a little time getting to know him in a low stakes environment, especially if you plan on making it a reoccurring thing with the same bull.
Sometimes there are slim pickings online or you just fancy something a little bit more spontaneous. If you as a hotwife decide to take a trip out on your own to see if you can pick up any men in a club or bar, please be extremely cautious.
For some couples, the risky aspect of an unplanned arrangement can be a turn on but sometimes fantasy and reality can be too different to enjoy. A safer hotwifing alternative is to plan your nights out with some girlfriends who may be aware of your lifestyle or have a similar situation. You ladies can look out for each other a bit more. It’s not unheard to have your girlfriend (or your husband) wait in another room while you have sex just to be certain that you will be getting home safely.
If you don’t have a girlfriend that can do this, reach out to other hotwife couples on the lifestyle sites. Many ladies in the lifestyle are very friendly and could be open to developing a support network with other like-minded women.
If this isn’t an option for you, make sure your phone is charged and you have a way of being in touch with your husband (or other designated person) at all times. Keep your phone location sharing turned on. Discuss in advance where you are planning to go. It makes sense to go somewhere busy with a lot of people around. Take and share selfies to provide timestamps of where you are and who you are with.
Limit how much alcohol you drink as getting drunk will impair your judgment. Try and have some form of conversation with your prospective bull before jumping into bed with him just to get a sense of how he is socially. Getting a hotel room tends to be a better bet than going back to a stranger’s house. Some pepper spray or other means of protection such as a personal alarm in your purse is good to have even if you never use it as it can provide an additional sense of security. And always text updates to let your husband know where and how you are.
If you ever find yourself wondering if you have misjudged a bull, don’t be afraid of calling a stop to the night. Do not just push through if you are uncomfortable. Call it a day and leave. You can make an excuse if you prefer or just tell him straight out that you do not feel comfortable in the situation. You owe him nothing, not even an explanation.
If you met online, make sure to also leave a review for other hotwives or couples. It helps other couples who are screening for new additions to see feedback from people who have met the men they are considering hooking up with.
Lastly, use common sense and trust your intuition. You probably won’t get a negative vibe without good reason. Our best tool when it comes to judging someone’s character can be gut instinct. Don’t ignore red flags and don’t buy into the faulty belief that everything will just work out fine in the end. Take all the precautions you can because you are always better safe than sorry and nothing is worth putting yourself in harm’s way for.