If you’re like most new people, you’re probably very nervous and excited to get answers to your questions immediately. Relax, we are going to quickly answer some of the more common questions. So sit back and read on…
What if I am not good looking enough?
You are more than good looking enough. End of story. Seriously. The lifestyle is a very inclusive community for all kinds of people, all of whom have their own special look. We all have personal preferences when it comes to what we find attractive. Think of your body as a gem: some people prefer rubies or sapphires or diamonds or opals. But you know what? All of those stones are freaking gorgeous! You will be gorgeous, too, as long as you spend a little bit of time to present yourself well. Most swingers agree that confidence is incredibly sexy, and a bright smile is the best way to draw positive attention from a potential play partner. If you feel good about yourself, that will come through and be way more appealing than a pretty face covering a rotten attitude.
Do I need to be equipped like a porn star?
Nope. Porn-quality packages are not required for happy swinging. The community is very inclusive and happily welcomes people with all different sizes of equipment. You will see big boobs and small boobs, big male equipment and small male equipment. And you will see people eager to experience them all. There are no height, weight, girth or cup size requirements for successful swinging. From our own experience and the many swingers we’ve interviewed, good technique is often a much better predictor of sexual fun than the size of any body part. One of the best aspects of the lifestyle is exposure to many different pleasure-inducing techniques!
What if I get stuck alone?
Masturbation is a solo act. Swinging is not. At its core, the lifestyle is a team sport. At parties, you will mostly see couples walking around together, meeting other couples together, and having fun together. There are some single people in the lifestyle but they are the exceptions. Many couples have rules about always playing together, so even if you wanted to ditch your partner you wouldn’t have that much opportunity. Some couples do allow one another to play separately during one-on-one dates with external partners. It’s much less common for couples to split up to play separately at clubs or swinger events. If you and your partner decide that separate play is within your comfort zone and your partner finds a playmate before you do, it’s not a big deal. Just relax at the bar with a drink or hit the dance floor with a smile and you’ll soon have company, too! The lifestyle is about having fun and enjoying life so you already have something in common with everyone else at the party!
Will people try to seduce my partner?
Yes. Can you blame them? Heck, you weren’t able to resist your partner’s charms were you? What’s so great about the lifestyle is that most couples aren’t interested in seducing just one half of a couple – they more likely want to seduce both of you for a sexy foursome.
Flirting and being sexy doesn’t mean your marriage is at risk. Swingers are really good about not confusing sexual attraction with romantic interest. Swinging is generally a team event and mostly done by couples with other couples. Yes, there can be some hot and sexy flirting, but swinging is still basically a lending library. As incredible as you & your partner are, after sexy time the other couple just wants to go home with their special someone, and not yours. Afterwards, there might be some flirty texts or emails so the other couple can play with you again, which is a huge ego boost. But at the end of the day, it really is just a sexy lending library. If you begin to feel threatened by one person’s special attention on your partner, be honest about your feelings and work with your partner to resolve them before it becomes an issue.
How can I trick/convince my partner to join the lifestyle?
You can’t. (And it would be a very bad idea even if you could.) You can have an honest discussion with them to see if they share the same feelings and want to try the swinging lifestyle together to improve your relationship. The lifestyle is for couples that are in sync with each other. If you try to force it, you will have a really bad time, upset your partner, and scare away potential lifestyle friends who want nothing to do with your drama. The good news is that couples usually share the same feelings even if they haven’t discussed the lifestyle in the past. So keep reading and we will talk about how to carefully bring up this topic, without scaring your awesome partner, so you can be honest with each other and resolve your concerns and anxieties.
What about those masked parties to protect my identity?
A masked party is something you see in Hollywood films. They are rarely a reality, because swingers want to see your sexy face. Relax, the swinging community understands discretion – oh boy, do we understand, value and protect discretion! The community is very protective of our shared secrets. You’ll find out that many public figures like police officers, teachers and politicians are in the lifestyle; more importantly, you’ll find out how they protect their privacy. We have also compiled some helpful tips in case your secret swinging identity is exposed.
Are swingers nymphomaniacs?
Sorry to clear up this naughty misconception but swingers are regular, healthy people who occasionally like to have sexy times with other regular, healthy people they find attractive. Swingers don’t try to have sex with every random person they meet because of some deep seated need for tons of sex. Just because we have a sex-positive attitude and a non-judgmental stance does not mean we don’t have standards. Swingers can be very picky. They tend to be very inconclusive during party time, but picky when it comes to sexy time. Many people attending swinger parties just enjoy the sexy vibe and don’t actively participate because there isn’t a mutual attraction at that party.
What about key parties?
Sadly, key parties are mostly Hollywood myth. You are not going to have sexy time with another person unless you all voluntarily agree. Remember that swingers have standards and we all have our own personal preference, which is why this is another Hollywood myth … well, usually. Every now & then you may hear about a key party but it is usually organized by a new swinger couple that thinks that is how you host a swinger party. These tend to be less successful parties than when swingers pick their own play partners. Some small groups of close friends who have all been intimate in various foursome or moresome scenarios for a long time occasionally do key parties as a lark and can enjoy it but blindly being paired up isn’t common in the lifestyle.
Can I say No?
Absolutely YES! NO means NO is a golden rule in the swinging community. You can always say no to any situation at any time with any person in the lifestyle. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone. If you’re not interested, you’re not interested. Period. The swinging community is much more fun when everyone is happy, comfortable & drama free. Never assume consent is given. Always make sure to ask before doing things.
Are swingers creepy?
Creepy people get ostracized from the swinging community because creepy aint sexy at all! Yes, Hollywood likes to make stereotyped jokes about swingers, but in reality, we’re just a friendly group of people who like to embrace our sexier side and have a good time with each other.
Is the swinging lifestyle perfect?
Nope. Just like everything else in real life, nothing is perfect. Our community is overall very awesome, but there are a few bad apples. Make sure to use your common sense and read the rest of this site to prepare yourself for some wild situations you probably never even dreamed about. Let’s be honest, swinger rookies make a bunch of mistakes because they don’t know better – but hey, we were all rookies at one point!