The term swinging and the concept of non-monogamy are becoming more commonplace each day. The taboo of these ideas is diminishing more and more as people discover that life is better when we have some flexibility.
More and more are discovering that swingers are people who enjoy a stable relationship at the same time can enjoy consensual sexual relations.
Years ago, most people were not open to these kinds of relationships. Now, it is not something totally accepted by all, but, without a doubt, the tolerance threshold is much better now than years ago. We also understand that these swinging practices are still controversial today for many parts of the world.
Most of us were taught that we should find a partner to spend the rest of our lives with, so the idea of ”sharing” can be uncomfortable and immoral for many people. That is why a relatively small percentage of people give themselves permission to act of their fantasies of going to a swinger party, having an open marriage, or having a threesome.
Concepts like marriage and fidelity were created by society. We have adopted these ideas of love as the only ones possible because we were educated with them, but it does not mean that they are the only correct choice.
A great dilemma of many swingers is: What will my mother say ?, My father, my brothers, friends, coworkers, etc. How do you tell them that you are a swinger? How do you tell them that you feel good that way?
Some people will judge you, at least at first, because they do not have enough knowledge on this subject. There is good news. Each day the world continues to open its mind to new possibilities. According to current polls, we now have most people accepting gay marriage, legal cannabis, and other historically taboo topics. This growing overall acceptance is also helping make the swinging lifestyle more common and much less of a shocking taboo and more of an allowable alternative.
Generally, a good way to approach your swinging secret with your social circles is to let them know that this makes you both happy and it is an entirely consensual choice. Share with them your feelings. You might need to remind them simply because you choose differently than they did, does not automatically make your choice improper.
Before you reveal your swinging choice to others you should reflect if that is what you truly want. This will become part of your public identity. Friends and family will not forget this so you will want to make sure you are completely comfortable with this choice.
If you are not enjoying the swinging lifestyle or are having issues with your private relationship. You might want to focus your energy on resolving those issues first before you potentially open yourself up to outside pressure from people that might not approve of your personal choice.
If you are a bisexual swinger, you should also think about how much you will want to share your swinging choices and how much you will want to keep private. Once you announce to others, your past might be scrutinized and subject to double guessing. Make sure to tidy up your social accounts so they don’t accidentally reveal anything you want to remain private or accidentally expose any swinging friends who do not want their choice to be public. It is common for a vanilla person to respond fearfully and that fear can turn into an overzealous infringement on your privacy so prepare yourself mentally to best protect yourself.
Sharing Your Story
When you are ready to open up and publicly share that you are swingers it is often better to do this in small personal meetings first with the people that are most important to you. This way each person you share your story with will have a chance to ask you questions and you can explain it to them. It also protects you from being overwhelmed by too many people all at once. There is no single right way to share your swinging choice; but here are several recommendations to make it easier for you.
Be aware that this is a process and that you probably have to do several times. Maybe at some point, you wonder, whether or not you made the right decision, but do not think about it too much, it is a matter of doing what you feel.
Start first with those people with whom you feel most comfortable telling and can trust not to tell others while you go through your list of people.
Try not to reveal this during an argument. Those tense moments rarely generate good results and more often turn into regret. Think twice if the person you are going to tell is going through bad times. It is hard to have an open mind when someone is dealing with their own personal struggles.
If people react aggressively or don’t want to hear what you’re saying, take a break. You don’t need to talk about something that is important to you but is not important to others.
Ultimately you should do what is best for you and your relationship. Live your best life in the best way that you can!