Sex can be one of the most pleasurable activities but for some ladies, sex also evokes other feelings such as anxiety, distress and even guilt. These problems can become highlighted in swinging lifestyle, especially when an individual experiences performance anxiety.
And even though men tend to talk more about these issues because it is often easier to notice when a man is going through performance anxiety, it is an issue that also affects women of all ages. When it kicks in, it can seems like it’s impossible to overcome it and sap away your pleasure, lubrication, arousal or even your libido. The good thing to remember is that the swinging lifestyle is a very friendly community which can make you feel more at ease with yourself and make it easier to address this issue.
Performance anxiety can happen to good swingers
If you are sexually active you will probably encounter some sort of performance anxiety during your life. In fact, some people say that feeling anxious about their prowess between the sheets is how they normally feel. When these feelings seem to be non-stop, it is wise to address it & reclaim your relaxed happiness. You are a sexy person and you deserve the freedom to comfortably enjoy your body.
Swinging can introduce new stresses like not knowing how best to pleasure a new partner or jealous worries or other issues. That mental stress can contribute to performance anxiety for many ladies. It is very natural when you are sharing in the swinging lifestyle community to encounter some bumps on your sexy journey. The good new is you can address these issues and be able to enjoy your sex and swinging life.
How does performance anxiety manifest?
It all depends on the individual, but some ladies may think that they are not good enough in bed, others may think negatively about their bodies, and others might become stressed over arousal or orgasms, this can develop into performance anxiety over their interaction (or lack of) during the intercourse.
Other women think that their presence is not even welcomed by others, especially when they are in a swinging party. There are fears about flirting and receiving enough validation from other interested couples. Women can start suffering from performance anxiety and prefer to leave the situation instead of addressing the underlying causes.
We should always remember that we are in control of our life. We control how we feel through the moments even if we are experiencing performance anxiety. To help you more easily overcome swinging performance anxiety here are some tips. You might even surprise yourself by how well you can manage swinging situations.
Tips for overcoming performance anxiety
- Think positively about your body
To achieve a healthy sex life, you should have a healthy perception of your sexy body & yes your body is sexy! There might be things you may not love about yourself, but your amazing parts outshine anything you are worried about. Instead of being your harshest critic, become your loudest cheerleader.
Next time you are in front of a mirror get naked and focus on the parts of your body you do like and enjoy. Talk to yourself, compliment yourself out loud. Be your own cheerleader and slowly but surely you will start regaining your confidence.
- Appreciate your body
Appreciating your body also means you should enjoy your body. And how do you do this? Well, you could start off by knowing that all bodies are different and beauty comes in all shapes and forms. It is important that you do this because performance anxiety can make you feel as if you do not deserve any joy whatsoever, and this is simply not true.
Touch, lick, kiss yourself, do everything to truly experiment and have fun with your sexy body. Worshipping & appreciating your own body will make it easier for you to accept others want to enjoying your sexy body. This will enable you to have fun with others more easily!
- Communication is important
Open communication is critical with your partner especially if you are new to the swinging lifestyle. Being able to communicate with others is crucial, and being able to truly express yourself will also minimize your performance anxiety because you are communicating upfront about what makes you feel uncomfortable or what you don’t like so others can avoid it. Also mentioning what you enjoy enables others to give you what you want in the way you want it.
If you are new to the swinging lifestyle you should remember that during your first couple of encounters with others you may not be fully mentally prepared for the reality of this whole new situation and that is totally fine. So, the fact that you are able to talk to your partner can help to remove or at least reduce the mental weight off your shoulders, and remove a big source of your performance anxiety.
- Understanding our sexual needs
Change is one of the few things in life that is bound to happen. None of us are the same person we were five years ago. It is very normal that your sexual needs will change throughout your life.
In help overcome performance anxiety, we should be aware of our constantly evolving needs. Once we are, we can start to realize that perhaps certain things that we enjoyed in the past might not be the best option right now and some things that we hadn’t tried before might now become extra exciting to us. Listening to our body will help us satisfy what we need and desire.
- It is ok to ask for help
Swinging is a team event so don’t be afraid of asking your team for help or adding people to your team that can help. Performance anxiety can grow into a serious issue if we ignore it. Thankfully there are many great resources we can call upon to help each of us.
If your performance anxiety is becoming serious, reach out to a trained psychologist or sexual therapist who can help.. None of us are alone. This is unfortunately a common issue but fortunately that also means there are many different reinforcements each of us can rely upon to overcome our struggles. Please be brave & smart enough to ask for help that will be suitable for you!
If you are living a swinging lifestyle it is normal to feel nervous, anxious or even stressed, especially at the beginning. But try to think about why you decided to join this lifestyle and how much fun you can have if you allow yourself to experience and experiment what other swingers have to offer you, and vice versa, of course.
A major part of your sexual performance anxiety may derive from fears you have felt throughout your life. If you feel insecure about your relationship then how can you truly enjoy yourself and your partner in your swinging lifestyle? Give yourself the opportunity to overcome your sexual performance anxiety, you will feel much better afterwards.