Anxiety can be a challenging setback for anyone. When anxiety breaks in, it can feel like an impossible puzzle to solve in your own head. You are not alone. Everyone can suffer it regardless of their age or sex. Sure, performance anxiety is seen mostly as a masculine problem as their issues can be more noticeable. But ladies also experience it. As anxiety blocks sexual focus, it interferes with arousal, lubrication, and overall pleasure.
And as you may imagine, anxiety can increase in the swinger lifestyle. You want to perform in front of people other than your partner, which can add worries of how other swingers you may barely know will react. Thankfully the swinging community is a friendly place, and several approaches can help you reduce and ease your anxiety.
Defusing Stressful Swinging
There is no denying the swinging lifestyle can indeed be a bit stressful. When couples are first meeting, there is potential for plenty of nervous swinger feelings. If you meet in large groups, that can require extra social engagement, which poses an additional challenge, especially for shy swingers. Anxiety is widespread when we experience new things, and that includes new swinging experiences. The good news is that anxiety can be reduced and possibly removed as we gain more knowledge and experience.
To help ease our mental concerns, we can do a little research. We can visit swinger club websites to learn more about what happens there and what nights they might host “new to swinging” workshops. We can also take a club tour to make our bodies feel more at ease by removing the mystery of this new experience.
We can further help to calm our minds by reading the online profiles of prospective swingers. Learning more about them and having some online chats will help to build a connection. That personal connection can greatly help reduce the nervous energy for first-time meetings. These meetings become less about meeting strangers and more about greeting good online friends who already like you.
Performance anxiety can pop up simply due to being with a different person other than your regular partner. You probably have built up a well-practiced routine with your own partner that is very comfortable for you. To ease away your stress, you can take a slower approach with a new partner. You can meet them for a relaxed dinner before even thinking about anything happening in the bedroom. Once in the bedroom, you can further ease your mind by limiting the play to a soft swap for your first few meetings, which can lower the pressure to perform. Another option is to use all your resources to bring your new partner pleasure. Ladies, don’t be afraid to pull out the lube if you are aroused but not wet. Gentlemen, there are many ways to pleasure a woman without an erection so give a few a try. Focusing on your partner’s body rather than your own can lessen self-consciousness.
The swinging lifestyle can be intimidating to new swingers, but it is really a very welcoming community. That should be to no one’s surprise, considering the empathy and respect demonstrated by swingers as they share partners. Swingers understand they are all regular people who like to enjoy life. Real-life swinging is not like a bad porno movie. Swingers are regular people and like regular people. None of them are perfect, and that is OK. Practically all men experience ED issues while swinging at some point, and practically all women feel insecure about their lubrication level at some point. There is no need to be self-conscious around other swingers. They are in the same position as you. No one has a perfect body – those are fake airbrushed lies that don’t exist in the real world. Many swingers had anxiety when they first entered the lifestyle and may continue to face anxiety. They can relate to it and be very empathetic.
Your Partner’s Loving Support
A big help with easing your mind can come from your own partner. Swinging is a team activity with both of you helping and supporting each other. You are both there to enjoy the moment and make fun memories. There is an added benefit of growing as a couple by trusting each other in trying and sharing something new. If swinging with another couple feels too much for you, you can try having a threesome first. This can help ease anxiety for some swingers. Think about what will work best for you and your partner.
Your partner can also help you prepare at home. Many new swingers have trouble going back to wearing condoms while swinging. They might have stopped wearing condoms at home with their own partner. If condoms are causing trouble, your partner can practice sex with condoms at home. Gaining more practice will help you ease away the anxiety before going to a swinger club or meeting up for a date.
Drinking can be good for relaxing, but it also has the potential to sabotage sexual performance, so we recommend limiting your alcohol intake. When facing stressful swinger situations, it would be better to have a private conversation with your own partner who can help calm you down and help boost your confidence without needing to use alcohol. They can also help you make sure not to over-imbibe and sabotage your performance.
If you are in the swinging lifestyle long enough, there is a good chance you will face performance anxiety. The good news is that if you are not alone. Your partner and the swinging community are happy to help you ease away these challenges so you can focus on the more enjoyable aspects of life. If your anxiety persists while swinging, step back and reflect on where it comes from. Think about it alone and then discuss it with your partner. Together you can better address this frustrating challenge and make the best choices for you and your relationship.