One of the most common and easiest ways to meet other swingers is through online dating. A big benefit of this type of dating is the anonymity it can offer. If you are worried about what others would think if they knew you are into swinging, online dating offers you some degree of anonymity.
You can use a dating profile that doesn’t reveal any of your personal information while connecting with verified swingers. You can also decide how much or how little about yourself you are ready to share. online dating allows you to find somebody reasonably close to you in terms of distance, while also taking steps to screen out people who might be too close for comfort. All of these reasons and more make online swinger dating sites a top option.
But online dating can also be hard at times due to different fears and insecurities. Let’s talk about some of the more common issues and how to overcome them.
Although the anonymity the online world offers may be an advantage when you want to hide your identity out of fear for your vanilla job and family considerations, it can also be used by others looking to cause trouble. It is only natural that when you start connecting with people online, you also start wondering if they are honest and if they have honest intentions.
Of course, you can’t always control everything and be sure that you can completely trust someone you’ve met online, but there are things you can do to make you feel safer.
The first step to ensuring your safety is to use paid swinger sites. Paid dating sites have fewer fakers since most fraudsters aren’t willing to spend money and the paid sites tend to do a much better job screening and verifying the accounts.
When you find somebody you like and decide you want to meet them, meet in a public place first like a local swinger club or a friendly bar. That way, you can talk with them in person, see how they interact live, get a sense of their vibe and connection with you, etc., without the heightened concern of being alone at their place or yours or in a hotel room. If things aren’t clicking or don’t seem right, it also makes it very easy for you to leave or engage with other people. This is why meeting in a public place first is a common starting point for many swinger connections.
Be cautious when revealing personal information. Rather than using your credit card, pick up an anonymous Visa gift card to give yourself an extra level of protection. Reveal only as much information as you feel comfortable with and not more than needs to be known. Your profile should definitely be personalized, but that doesn’t mean it has to be deeply personal.
For example, be honest about your physical appearance, but feel free to alter a minor detail here or there to protect your anonymity. One way to do that is to add a few pounds or a couple of years to your actual stats (people will rarely be disappointed to realize you are a little younger than expected). Be sure to keep those changes to a minimum. Don’t outright lie or bend the truth without an actual reason. What you can do is share more information after you’ve communicated with a couple for some time and have gained trust. Or better yet, wait until you meet in person.
If making minor changes on your dating profile will make you feel more secure and relaxed, do it. Veteran swingers will understand discretion and why you don’t want to share certain information until some level of trust has been established. But keep in mind that trust is an important factor in the swinger community. Blatantly misrepresenting who you are could lead to rejection by large swaths of the community.
The same goes for sending photos. You are probably aware that your sexy photos can end up in the wrong hands and be used against you. This is why many people have a strict rule against sharing sexy pictures that include their faces. It is common practice to crop your head out of your photos or use editing tools to avoid showing your face. Real swingers usually won’t be too pushy when it comes to asking for photos, but you’ll be asked to send some to make sure there is a physical attraction. If you feel really uncomfortable doing that online, you can always suggest using some of the encrypted messaging apps.
Remember that you are not obligated to send your photos or share any information you are not comfortable with. If someone is pushing for nude pictures or too many pictures, consider it a warning flag that they might be fake swingers. Most swingers will be fine with clothed face shots to confirm identity and attraction. Swingers tend to be less interested in penpals and collecting pictures and more interested in having real-life encounters.
If you are afraid to join online dating sites because you’re unsure about sharing your personal information online, remember that you are the one who decides how much information to share. Also, you decide with whom you’ll share this information. It is always best to be as honest as you can on your online profile. But that doesn’t mean you have to share everything and aren’t allowed to keep some things private.
Fears About Age and Physical Appearance
One of the main fears when it comes to online dating (honestly, dating in general), comes from insecurities related to age and physical appearance. You may worry about not being attractive enough to others, not being successful in finding partners, etc. Maybe you are asking yourself if you are too old for this.
Insecurities may lead you to consider masking the truth about your age and physical appearance rather than sharing the truth. Should you post photos that show how you really look or only the ones where you think you look the best, even if those are old?
If that is something you struggle with, we promise it is always better to be honest. When you’re creating your online profile, be honest when talking about your age, weight, height, or other aspects of your physical appearance (note that we said minor alterations above). Don’t post old photos, they bring you nothing. There will come a time when you’ll meet a couple in person and it will be really uncomfortable when they realize you don’t look as in the photos.
Take photos in an environment and poses you feel comfortable in and that makes you feel sexy and good about yourself. It is more likely others will find you attractive when you’re true to who you are. Yes, you will find out that some look only for the fittest couples. But, you will also realize that many want to find others who share similar interests, like the same hobbies or have a certain personality trait. That is the reason why your profile should include a short description of who you are, what you like and don’t like, etc.
The swinger community is not limited only to certain body types and age groups. You will eventually realize that this lifestyle attracts people of different ages, weights, heights, races, professional and social backgrounds, interests, etc.
Afraid to Make the First Move
You found somebody you like but are you feeling afraid to contact them and start a conversation?
If this scenario seems familiar, remember that all these people are here for the same thing you are. To find people to have a good time with. They want to be contacted. They want to find compatible partners, just like you do. Don’t be afraid to start a conversation and flirt with other swingers. Send them a message that shows you took the time to read their profile.
What’s the worst thing that could happen if you reach out? They say ‘thanks but no thanks’? Totally not a big deal. It happens to everyone at some point.
Fear of Rejection
The fear of being rejected can be overwhelming and powerful enough to keep us from taking even the smallest of chances. To take some of the power away from it, you must try to realize that rejection is fairly common in online dating. As in vanilla dating, it happens often in swinger dating. It is a completely normal part of a dating life.
It will inevitably happen at some point. But there is no reason to let the fear of rejection stop you from trying online dating. Rejection is not something you should take personally. It is a normal part of this lifestyle. Anybody has a right to choose and look for the things they like and prefer. Being rejected by someone doesn’t mean nobody will want you and you’ll never find partners. It just means you weren’t compatible with that particular person or couple.
Finding partners, online or in any other way, may seem scary. It is not easy to put yourself out there. But, if this is the lifestyle you enjoy or you think you will enjoy, don’t let outsized fear stop you from finding partners and making your fantasies come true.