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You are here: Home / Willy Nilly / Our Start of Something Stupid, Who Knows

Our Start of Something Stupid, Who Knows

We’re trying something new.  How shocking, a swinger interested in trying something new.  This will be mostly me – Will, the dumb one that Georgia needs to rescue more times than I can count.  I prefer her, too, but you didn’t have to mentally sigh that loudly. A guy has feelings. 

Anyways … instead of our usual style where we attempt to give sorta respectful and decent information (yeah, I know we aren’t perfect & that’s why I said attempt), we are going to do a more casual & personal approach about us.

We’ll be oversharing what we are thinking, feeling, and experiencing.  Eh, let’s be honest. It will mostly be me.  Life isn’t perfect, so don’t expect us to portray good role models of the swinging lifestyle.  As a matter of fact, it would probably be wise to completely ignore this entire section.

It is going to be messy, like reality TV messy.

Like yesterday all of the random thoughts that ran through my mind while I was on my hot husband date.  You were probably expecting a couples swinger date, but G is dealing with medical issues, so she is temporarily sidelined and sending me on solo dates so she can enjoy the guilty pleasures she has filling up our DVR without interruption.

I don’t even want other women to satisfy me sexually.  It’s a horrible burden that I put myself through, so you can read my ridiculously bad writing (really hope you like a bit of sarcasm).

Sadly, there is a bit of truth in that I don’t really want to go on hothusband dates (I don’t know what else to call them).  Yes, the sex dates are fun, ok, like really fun.  It is not a bad life at all!  But & this is a big one; my best solo date has never been as much fun compared to when we go swinging together.

Good luck trying to explain that to my vanilla friends.  “So yeah, dude, my wife helps me sleep with as many women as I want, but I prefer having sex with her.” They would never understand why it’s not the grand prize, it might seem to them.

The ladies on my solo dates don’t even understand my feelings.  Many of them are unhappily divorced and don’t understand my ENM situation at all.

Look at me. I’m talking about feelings instead of dirty sex details.  My horny 16-year-old self would be so freaking disappointed 🙁  I’m rambling here and haven’t even mentioned the random thoughts from my date yesterday.

Don’t get me wrong, the sex was good yesterday, and there was no reason for random thoughts to pop up, but that’s the thing about random thoughts.  They pop up whenever they feel like it.

Like how do you tell a woman not to clench her thighs that tight when my head is down there?  It literally popped my contact out of place.  I’m in the middle of the hot action and trying to figure out how to get it back in place. If I can’t, are my prescription sunglasses in the car?  Can I drive home at night wearing sunglasses?  Is it safer to try to drive home wearing only one contact lens?  Thankfully my contact popped back into place.

So we wrap up that play round and rest up.  Let’s do a quick tangent here – I don’t hear other swingers talk about resting, so I will.  On sex dates, I take a nap & I’m proud of it.  Sex is great, but right after having sex, taking care of my sleep-deprived body is the next best feeling.

I find the best way to turn a woman on for sex is to let her take a nap and rest up.  Sleep deprivation isn’t sexy.  We are all overworked.  A quick nap works wonders. Enough of this tangent.

Now I have her napping next to me, and the random thoughts are really flowing.  I’m thinking about everything.  What to do for our annual swinger survey?  Should I ask if other swingers nap or cuddle on playdates? I should write an article on how to build in rest breaks & naughty distractions so men can recover to play multiple rounds on the same play date.  What should I pick up at the grocery store on the way home? The ceiling in this hotel room looks weird, is it special noise insulation?  Is there going to be traffic on the way home?  Should I use beef kidney or liver to make the next batch of my homemade dog treats?

Then she wakes up and asks me what I’m thinking.  No freaking way am I going to tell this naked woman in my bed that I’ve been trying to figure out the best recipe for DIY dog treats.  So I just lean in and start kissing her again, and one thing leads to another.  Phew, crisis averted!

I have no words of wisdom to share with ya.  These are simply my personal feelings.  Going on solo dates is fun & sad at the same time, which kind of messes me up a bit.  The sex is good & my ego definitely is stroked when women ask to see me again.  When G asks how it was, I am honestly enjoying it, but it also leaves me sadder because I miss sharing this with her.

Frankly, isn’t that just like real life?  It is never simple.  Things fall into the gray area and not into tidy black & white categories.

I’m done babbling for now.  To be fair, I did warn you this would be a very casual approach with plenty of oversharing.

Till next time.

– Will


This is a Willy Nilly post.  Our other blog posts aim to provide helpful swinger information.  This category is where you can find us venting our opinions, sharing personal updates & other random thoughts.  Pour yourself a nice drink and enjoy us oversharing our babble 🙂

Last Updated: February 21, 2023
Written By:Will

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Welcome to Swingers Help! We’re Dr. Georgia & Will Fuchs, a married couple who have been enjoying our swinging time through the consensual non-monogamy community. Our experience hasn’t been perfect or drama-free but we don’t regret at all making the decision to start swinging. To share our swinging enjoyment, we authored the top ranked Swingers’ Little Helper book and provide free videos, articles, games, & relationship exercises on this site.  Join us as we share our insights on the swinging lifestyle.
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