Swayers is a less commonly used term but it describes a good amount of people. Newbies especially will want to learn about swayers. Swayers are typically vanilla, and enjoy being vanilla, but sometimes dabble in swinging. Often this dabbling occurs on vacation or when there’s a special opportunity or occasion. Swayers will “sway” across their vanilla boundary to engage in the swinging lifestyle for a short period of time. They reap the benefits of the sex-positive community without engaging in any of the complications that can come from committing to the lifestyle. Swaying couples are like students who give themselves a hall pass to have some extra-curricular fun.
Being a swayer can be a safe way to test drive the lifestyle to see if it is a good match for you and your partner. Some people are permanent swayers. They might not have much free time or maybe they don’t like regularly sharing their partner and just want some intermittent sexy fun. This also avoids trouble with jealousy while swinging.
The downside with swayers is that they are often ill prepared and can lack the strong communication skills needed for a 100% mistake-free night of fun sex. If you are thinking of being sawyers, you should still talk about what each of you likes and dislikes, confirm your boundaries, and check in with each other during the night. You don’t want one night of dabbling in the lifestyle to result in six months of fighting and marriage counseling because of an accidental misunderstanding.
Your spouse might be smiling as you flirt with another person, but they might only be pretending in order to avoid a public fight. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and communicate. There will be another chance to have sexy fun, assuming you don’t rush too much, too soon. Protect your partner and their trust in you. Swinging and the lifestyle is just a bonus to your already great life.
Ok, so you’ve chatted with your partner and decided on being soft or full swap, or just a sexy swayer the next time you go on vacation. The next big decision is to decide between same room play or separate room play. Many swingers go with same room play, but this is your sexy time so you should decide what works best for you.