Attending your first orgy or sex party can be a wonderful and thrilling experience. It can also be nerve-wracking if you don’t know what to expect or how to behave. Luckily, we’ve compiled a list of basic rules and etiquette for sex parties – from what to bring to what to do when the party ends. Keep these rules in mind, and we think you’ll have a fantastic time.
Understanding Sex Party Types
Group play can cover anything from a carefully scheduled fetish-themed orgy to a last-minute group play session between a few friends. While a few basic rules apply to all types of group play, it helps to know what type of group sex experience you’re in for. The term ‘sex party’ covers a variety of experiences, including orgies, swingers parties, and spontaneous group sex.
Orgies – Though the term orgy is somewhat outdated but typically refers to group sex among five or more people. The term orgy can be used interchangeably with ‘group play party.’ “Orgy” is a bit vague & more likely to be used by lesser experienced people who don’t know the more precise language.
Swinger Parties – These can be meet & greets or play parties. Couples primarily attend them. Sometimes singles are invited, but that tends to be the exception. Swinger couples tend to stay together at these parties though they are free to separate. When it comes time for sex or foreplay, the swinger couples will often find another couple & pair up with them for naughty fun. Many people use “swinger party” & “play party” interchangeably.
If you receive an invitation to a swinger party, you might want to ask the host whether you will be limited to playing in a shared space or have the option to find some privacy for a more intimate experience. Better to know what type of situation you’ll be walking into.
Play Parties – A party where the participants are encouraged to have sex. This is different than a meet & greet party which is more about socializing. Play parties are focused on physical fun. Unlike an orgy, everyone doesn’t have sex together but participates however they choose. There may be singles hooking up, threesomes, or foursomes. Couples can go with other couples into a private room or any different combination. You get the idea. A play party can even become an orgy if all partygoers decide to participate in sex together, but that is not always the case. Play parties are a bit more generic term than swinger parties. Play parties could refer to non-swinging fetish-focused parties.
When in doubt, always ask, so you know what type of party you’re attending. There are different types of play parties. Some parties don’t allow alcohol or drugs; others allow only masturbation or foreplay, while others are more than anything goes. Because sex parties can be so different, talking to the host or a trusted party member is crucial to finding out what to expect. No matter the type, most sex parties have the same basic rules and expectations of etiquette.
Basic Rules For Orgies & Sex Parties
Consent Comes First – No matter the party type, one rule always reigns supreme. Before engaging in any sexual act or even touching another person, you must have explicit, enthusiastic consent.
Some of the larger sex parties have “Consent Monitors,” people who are present but not participating in sexual play. These consent monitors are there to ensure that everyone feels safe and that consent is treated as the top priority.
No Pressure – Never pressure anyone to do anything they don’t want. A pressured yes is not true consent. If someone says “No” the first time, respect it. Back off and allow them to come to you if they change their mind.
The no-pressure rule includes drinking and drug use. Don’t try to encourage someone to drink more than they’re comfortable with or partake in drugs. They may not feel safe or comfortable doing so. You don’t want to be kicked out or banned from the sex party.
Bring Your Own Protection and Lube – Some party hosts will provide condoms, lube, dental dams, and other forms of protection, but you shouldn’t expect it. They might not have your preferred brand or might run out of sex supplies later in the night. Always bring your own protection, including extra condoms for any toys you bring. And definitely bring your lube of choice. You may not use lube during regular sex, but the extended fun that happens during an orgy/group play makes lube use much more necessary.
Get Tested – If you plan to attend orgies and sex play, be regularly screened for STIs. When interacting with multiple partners, there’s always a chance of someone being infected by an STI. So get screened and stay safe. New people you meet at the orgies & sex parties will likely ask you about your STI testing, so be prepared.
Be Ready – Are you comfortable with group sex? Are you genuinely comfortable being naked in front of a bunch of other people? These are questions to ask yourself before going to any sex party. If you feel hesitant, you may want to try a private threesome or foursome before jumping into orgies and group play. This is often a bigger issue for men. Sensory overload & the pressure of performing can lead to ED issues. It can be helpful to ease in with private swinger dates and work up to large parties.
Are you ready and excited for your first orgy? That’s great! Let’s talk about some of the rules and etiquette that apply.
Check out the other parts of this Sex Party Etiquette Mini Guide.