How would you describe yourselves?
We are married (8 years together). Rob is 53, Jay is 40. We’re in Marietta, Georgia. We have 5 kids (19 through 2). We are both very outgoing, open-minded, and not at all shy about our lifestyle choices. We met at work. Both of us had significant lifestyle experiences prior to being together, and have both always lived non-monogamous lives.
How did you discover the swinging lifestyle?
I (Rob) was introduced to non-monogamy very early in life. Swinging came in my college years, but I participated in 3sum and groups prior to that. The space between polyamory, swinging, and consensual non-monogamy has narrowed in my mind as I’ve aged, and so those definitions deserve some discussion.
My wife (Jay) was introduced to swinging in her early twenties, but again, in truth saw the blurred lines between that definition and simple consensual non-monogamy. She is newer to the idea of polyamory but is very interested in it for our marriage.
What hesitations did you have about joining the lifestyle? How did you handle your concerns?
We really did not hesitate together, as we had prior experience and mutual desire. The obvious concerns are tied up in the ability to communicate effectively at all times, and to not allow more traditional values/beliefs, that we both were taught, to interfere in our convictions.
Describe your local swinging culture.
The Atlanta area has a very vibrant swinging scene. We are not interested in the on-site club scene, as we find it not to our best taste.
We are much more into 4sums and we host multiple small house parties.
We mix vanilla occasions with sexual events, and most of our close friends are in the lifestyle, whether we’ve played with them or not.
Have you ever taken a break from swinging? If so, why and for how long?
We have taken a break, for about a year due to COVID concerns and a medical issue (Jay has migraines that make planning difficult).
What pet peeve(s) do you have about the swinging lifestyle?
While not labeling it a “pet-peeve” we are very sensitive to couples that are not fully on the same page and will leave an encounter no matter what when we feel tension or jealousy issues arriving in our partners. We regret so many couples do not seek longer relationships (friendships).
How has swinging impacted your relationship?
It is simply a nice aspect of our already wonderful sexual and intimate relationship. We anticipate continuing our entire lives.
Describe your preferred swinging style.
We usually like to meet once, judge chemistry and energy, though we play on first dates often.
What has surprised you the most about swinging?
In truth, the largest surprise is those in the LS that don’t value a friendship and the value of social life with like-minded people, rather than just seeing it as a sexual event only.
What do you wish you knew about swinging before starting?
I wish there were clearly lines of distinction between the likes/dislikes of those in the LS, and that there was a forum to make them more easily discussed.
– Thank You Rob & Jay for sharing!
If you would like to share your lifestyle experiences & perspectives, let us know. We are profiling different types of swingers from all over.