Ladies, imagine you are looking forward to a hot swinger event. You are doing everything to make sure it will be perfect, but surprise! Your period arrives early. Relax. It happens all the time. Mother Nature does not care about your hot dates. As far as she is concerned, if it’s that time of the month then it’s just that time of the month.
Some women have a uterus you can set your calendar by and just don’t schedule playtime when Aunt Flow is in town. Other women are less regular and sort of cross their fingers when making a date. Some women don’t want to be touched by anything other than a heating pad while others find themselves almost constantly turned on during their period.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum, keep in mind that your cycle often affects more than just your weekend plans.
If you’re going to be in the lifestyle, you’re going to need to talk about your period way more often than you could ever have imagined. You don’t want to be a rude and flaky swinger that skips out on dates with no notice. The good news is that swingers are grownups, and most lifestyle men haven’t freaked out over the mere mention of menstruation since middle school. The conversations you need to have depend on your preferences and comfort level. Just remember that you are not the first woman in history to ovulate and think about it as another bodily fluid that might be exchanged — which means you owe it to your partners to communicate about it. Unless you have already gone through menopause or happen to be the luckiest woman ever in the lifestyle, your period and what it means for play plans will be a topic of conversation.
Here are some options for navigating sexy time with your cycle.
- Reschedule or Revise – If you’re planning to play and are surprised by your period, reach out to your dates as soon as you can. Some lifestyle women prefer to discuss the sudden arrival of Uncle Red with the female half of the couple, but that is not always an option especially if communicating only through email. The straightforward approach works best. There is some research showing a connection between menstruation sex and a higher risk of infection. For safer sex while swinging, it would be a good idea to reschedule the sexy fun. Explain the situation and ask if the other couple would like to reschedule the date. Some will immediately pull out their calendars to make a new sexy date. Some will suggest keeping the date but making it a vanilla night.
- Just Flirt and Socialize – You could choose not to do anything to “deal” with your period. There is no rule that says you have to play at every swinger event. You can just enjoy the sexy vibe, make new friends, and catch up with old ones. Sometimes it’s nice just to enjoy a party free of all performance anxiety.
- Soft Swap Only – You can still have plenty of fun keeping activities on a soft swap swinging level. There are plenty of sexy ways to enjoy yourself without penetration. You can have a hot kissing contest, sensual massages, or use vibrators outside of your sexy lingerie. We don’t know a lot of men who would turn down a blow job just because the potential giver is on the rag. This is a great way to build a stronger connection for even hotter sex the next time.
- Have Sex! – A lot of lifestyle couples play during periods, but you can’t assume it’s okay with them just because you are comfortable with it. You have to communicate and establish what is acceptable and what is not. Some men are down to play during spotting or light flow days only while others don’t care about the level of flow as long as they won’t find their male anatomy awash in a sea of red. Still others don’t have sex during periods as a rule.
- Sea Sponges – These absorbent little wonders can be a lifestyle girl’s best friend. You may have heard menstrual sponges referred to as soft tampons. Like tampons, sponges are inserted into the vagina to absorb blood before it exits the body. Unlike tampons, there is no dangling string and sponges are reusable. Most importantly, you can have intercourse with a sponge inserted. Natural sea sponges are growing in popularity due to their convenience, earth friendliness, and comfort. Synthetic, vegan friendly sponges are also growing in popularity.
- Menstrual Cups – Menstrual cups are aptly named. They are small, cup-shaped devices inserted into the vagina that collect blood before it exits the body, similar to tampons. Menstrual cups come in both reusable and disposable forms, and the difference is hugely important. Disposable menstrual cups can be worn during sex because they are designed to sit at the cervix and are made of softer material than the reusable kind. Reusable cups should not be worn during sex because they are positioned lower in the vagina and are made of heavier material that can cause discomfort for you and your partner.
- Anal – Some women don’t enjoy vaginal intercourse while on their period, but love a good ass ride. If you enjoy some backdoor fun, this is a good time to explore it with the added benefit of not having to worry about removing a tampon and messing up your sheets. Some ladies enjoy backdoor action in the lifestyle because they can partner with a guy that is smaller than their man and more comfortably enjoy the stimulation of all those sensitive nerves in the bottom hole. Keep in mind that there is no medical reason to limit the potentially mind-blowing joys of playing in your back room to one time of the month!
- Move Your Period – Okay, this one is pretty drastic and used only for really, really big events. This is not for your run-of-the-mill Saturday night out. Some women want to guarantee that they won’t need to pack the tampons for a swinger cruise or other big getaway so they kind of fake out their uterus. If you take oral contraceptives, you might be able to shift your cycle by skipping your placebo week to start a new pack right away. This not possible with every type of birth control pill and should never been done without consulting your OB/GYN. Be careful when adjusting and be prepared for some unusual hormone levels.
Sometimes it is just no fun being a lady. Hopefully these options will help you better enjoy yourself. Just remember to always consult your OB/GYN. They are happy to help you!