Swinging is a very fun social lifestyle but that social part can be a bit challenging for introverted people. As much as introverts may be attracted to a non monogamous lifestyle, they can worry how they can live this lifestyle as an introvert? How can someone comfortable flirt with others if they are introverted or shy?
The good news is that introverts can definitely enjoy the swinging lifestyle, even if they might feel that the social world might be spinning fast around them. Sure, introverts probably prefer a quiet night watching movies than going to a party, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t have enjoyable swinger experiences.
With a few helpful tips, everyone (including introverts) can have plenty of fun discovering the many opportunities of this swinging community. Now we’re going to discuss some tips and strategies that you and your partner can use to live this unique experience in the best way for you both.
- Host if you can.
When you let people come to your space, you can feel more in control of the interaction. You can prepare the most comfortable space for all involved to make you and your new friends more at ease. If you would rather keep your place private, you can still prepare a comfy place on your terms. You can arrange a nice picnic in the park or day at the beach with all of your favorite things to feel more comfortable.
As you become more experienced with hosting swinger parties, you can gradually increase the number of people who can come to your mini parties, but for your first few attempts start with a single couple. Remember that being comfortable can take some time, so don’t push yourself too hard if that doesn’t suit you.
- Listen to what they say.
Many introverted people are great at listening, so use that to your advantage. The other person can be interested in telling you stuff about their personal life because they know you will listen and maybe help them in solving any problem. Take interest in what they’re saying, and ask any questions you may have. People like to be heard and feel like what they are saying is important. It’s a great way to make a positive impression on the other person and get to know them better.
- Your partner is your ally.
Remember you aren’t alone. Team up with your partner. If they are extroverted, they can take the lead with socializing. If you are both introverted, you can take turns to give each other recovery breaks. For flirting, your partner can be the one to start it and you can join them adding in a few short comments. Always remember that you both are a team, and knowing the other person or couple can make the experience much better for everyone; let your partner lead the way if it’s necessary, so you can follow closely.
If your partner is introverted, remember to give them positive reinforcement. Words like “I’m proud of you” and “You did amazing tonight” can mean a lot to an introverted person because that makes them feel validated. Remember that they pass a lot of time being introspective about themselves, so knowing that the person they love has plenty of faith in him/her, and are proud with every step, can really help them feel good.
- Body language.
Become an expert at swinger body language. This will help you better understand others and know how to better signal your feelings to them. When you are interested in someone, the eyes never lie. So, you can combine that with your great smile. That strong combination gives you some points, and can be very seductive without even having to open your mouth. Crossing your arms or legs can signal that you aren’t very receptive to what the others are saying, so try to get comfortable in the spot without cross your arms in front of you. You can hold your hands behind your back or rest them on your partner’s shoulder if you don’t know what to do with them.
If it’s another couple that gets into you and your partner, try saying something nice about them as a couple. How good they look together, and even how well-dressed they are. Also, you can say that you are grateful that they are there with you and your partner. The more kind and honest you are, then more you’ll be comfortable. If it’s another single person that join you and your partner, you can tell why you have chosen him/her. Nothing about love, of course, but about looks and personality. Remember one of the golden rules: Swinger lifestyle doesn’t involve emotions toward the other person or couple.
- Talk about some of your interest.
If you like books, games, music or a TV show, don’t be shy and say it to the group. That’s an easy way to start a conversation and let’s them respond with their favorites. Social relationships start with knowing each other, independently of the nature of itself. The more you can share about yourself, the better chance you have of making a social connection.
You can talk about what you have watched on Netflix, or what you like to do on the weekends, or where you like to travel. After sharing some of your interest, remember to ask your new friends about theirs. This way they can share and give you a chance to relax and recover. Playing a swinger game can also be a great distraction and make you feel more comfortable than having a direct conversation.
- Role play.
Sorry, we’re not talking about exploring a crazy hot sex fantasy. In the safety of your house and with your own partner, try once in a while to seduce your partner and practice your flirting. Seduce him/her, and play with them, using your tactics. The more you practice, the more you can feel comfortable when doing it for real. Plus you just might even learn a few tricks from each other. Besides we all enjoy being complimented, so seducing your partner with compliments about their physical attributes and social skills can go along way to recharging their confidence levels. If you are alone, you can try this with a mirror. Look at the mirror and point out all the good things you see and feel proud about.
- Create private recharge space.
We know that social interactions can be very draining for introverts so give yourself the best recharge with your very own special private space. A nice quiet space for only your pleasure, to read or listen music, can be relaxing and help you to charge the batteries faster. Take a few hours alone to reset yourself and go back to the game. Surrounding yourself with your favorite treats and private team is a good way to reward yourself after social interactions.
- Take your time.
Building swinging relationships can take some time. That’s why you should do things at your pace and on your terms. There’s no need to be in a rush. Be as more talkative as you can, show them how interested you are, and how are you feeling with them. Most members of the community will understand if you are as clear as possible, and start as a soft swinger. These are a few advice we can give, so you can have more fun as times goes by. Being an introvert person it’s just another part of your personality that doesn’t need to cut you from experience the amazing world that is being a swinger or being part of the swinger community. If you want to know more about how you can obtain more social skills, a therapist can give you more tools, depending on your specific needs and to achieve your goals