Swinging is a very fun social lifestyle but that social part can be a bit challenging for introverted people. As much as introverts may be attracted to a non-monogamous lifestyle, they can worry about how they can live this lifestyle as an introvert? How can someone comfortably flirt with others if they are introverted?
The good news is that introverts can definitely enjoy the swinging lifestyle, even if they might feel that the social world is quickly spinning around them. Sure, introverts probably prefer a quiet night watching movies than going to a party, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t have enjoyable swinger experiences.
With a few helpful tips, everyone (including introverts) can have plenty of fun discovering the many opportunities of this swinging community. Let’s go over some tips and strategies on how you can adapt your swinging style into the best approach for you.
Host If You Can
When you let people come to your space, you can feel more control over the interaction. You can prepare a comfortable space to make you and your new friends more at ease. If you would rather keep your place private, you can still prepare a comfy place on your terms. You can arrange a nice picnic in the park or a day at the beach with all of your favorite things to feel more comfortable.
As you become more experienced with hosting swinger parties, you can gradually increase the number of people who can come to your mini parties, but for your first attempts better to start with a single couple. Remember that being comfortable can take some time, so don’t push yourself too hard if that doesn’t suit you.
Listen To Them
Many introverted people are great at listening and observing, so use that to your advantage. The other swingers can be interested in telling you stuff about their personal life because they know you will listen. Take interest in what they’re saying, and ask any questions you may have. People like to be heard and feel like what they are saying is important. It’s a great way to make a positive impression on the other person and get to know them better.
Your Partner Is Your Ally
Remember you aren’t alone. Team up with your partner. If they are extroverted, they can take the lead with socializing. If you are both introverted, you can take turns to give each other recovery breaks. For flirting, your partner can be the one to start it and you can join them adding in a few short comments. Always remember that you both are a team.
If your partner is introverted, remember to give them positive reinforcement. Words like “I’m proud of you” and “You did amazing tonight” can mean a lot to an introverted person because that makes them feel validated. Remember that they pass a lot of time being introspective about themselves, so knowing that the person they love has plenty of faith in him/her, and are proud of every step, can help them feel good.
Paying Attention To Body Language
Become an expert at swinger body language. This will help you better understand others and know how to better signal your feelings so it’s clear to everyone. When you are interested in someone, the eyes never lie. So, you can combine that with your great smile. That strong combination can be very seductive without even having to open your mouth. Crossing your arms or legs can signal that you aren’t very receptive to what the others are saying, so try to get comfortable in the spot without cross your arms in front of you. You can hold your hands behind your back or rest them on your partner’s shoulder if you don’t know what to do with them.
Compliments & More Compliments
Everyone loves compliments. If it’s another couple that is into you and your partner, try saying something nice about them as a couple. How good they look together, or how well-dressed they are. The more kind and honest you are, the more everyone will become comfortable. A few flattering compliments can help to build a connection with them.
Share Your Interests
If you like books, games, music, or a TV show, don’t be shy and say it to the group. That’s an easy way to start a conversation and opens the door for them to respond with their favorites. The more you share about yourself, the better chance you can solidify the social connection.
You can talk about what you have watched on Netflix, or what you like to do on the weekends, or where you like to travel. After sharing some of your interests, remember to ask your new friends about theirs. This way they can share and give you a chance to relax and recover. Playing a swinger game can be a great distraction and make you feel more comfortable than having a direct conversation.
Sorry, we’re not talking about exploring a crazy hot sex fantasy. In the safety of your house and with your partner, try once in a while to seduce your partner and practice your flirting. Seduce him/her, and play with them, using your tactics. The more you practice, the more you can feel comfortable when doing it for real. Plus you just might even learn a few tricks from each other. Besides we all enjoy being complimented, so seducing your partner with compliments about their physical attributes and social skills can go along way to recharging their confidence levels. If you are alone, you can try this with a mirror. Look at the mirror and point out all the good things you see and feel proud about.
Create a Private Recharge Space
We know that social interactions can be very draining for introverts so give yourself the best recharge with your very own special space. A nice quiet recharging space for only your pleasure, to read or listen to music, can be relaxing and help you to charge the batteries faster. Take some time alone to reset yourself and go back to the game. Surrounding yourself with your favorite treats is a good way to reward yourself after social interactions.
Take your time
Building swinging relationships can take some time. That’s why you should do things at your pace and on your terms. There’s no need to be in a rush. Be as talkative as you can, show others how interested you are, and how feel about them. Most members of the lifestyle community will understand if you are as clear as possible, and start as a soft swinger.
Being an introverted person doesn’t need to prevent you from experiencing the amazing swinging world. If you want to better hone your social toolbox, a therapist can give you more tools crafted to your own needs and goals.