We all want to stay safe while enjoying our swinging experiences. That means taking smart precautions. So here are ways to vet others in the swinging lifestyle, whether it might be a new swinger friend or a large group of potential attendees for a swinger party.
Before we start investigating & vetting people, let’s talk about the different places you can recruit. Each of these places has a risk factor that can vary greatly. The free sites are flooded with scammers & picture collectors, and that isn’t going to change. As soon as the troublemakers are banned on the free sites, they create another fake profile because it is free. Best to stay away from this high-risk pool. Recruiting from paid swinger sites is vastly safer. Spammers aren’t going to waste money on paid membership fees when they can target free sites. As much as we might dislike paywalls, they do a great job keeping most of the bad ones away from us. When possible, do your recruiting from these much lower-risk options.
Gathering Information
Ok, you have started recruiting. What’s the next step? If you are hosting someone or many someones, you want to gather good information. The amount & type of information will vary depending on your situation. If they are good friends, you already know everything you need. If you are meeting up with a new couple at a swinger club, you are risking a little bit but can easily walk away, so you don’t need as much information compared to hosting a large group in your own house with your family pictures on the walls & nice stuff that can be stolen.
Ask For Their Pictures
This is not about picture collecting, so skip the nudes. This is about ensuring that they aren’t fake people using stolen pictures. Ask for at least two photos of each person. Then use Tineye or another reverse image search tool to see if they are legit or stolen images. Another option is to ask them for a photo of them holding up a crumbled piece of paper with the name of your event written to ensure they aren’t stolen pictures (the crumbled paper can’t be easily photoshopped).
Also, run the image through an AI detection tool, as the spammers are now generating fake AI images. The AI detection tools aren’t perfect & have a high error rate, but it is better than nothing. Hopefully, in the near future, this AI situation will be easier to handle.
Ask for Swinger Screen Names
This approach is less intrusive than asking for their name & address. It can quickly show if they are legit swingers or lifestyle scams. Do they have a profile on a paid swinger site & does it have good verifications from other couples? If not, do they at least have a robust profile on social media like Reddit or Twitter that wouldn’t be easy to fake?
Keep your guard up if they have a profile on a free swinger site. Sadly as we already mentioned, the free swinger sites are flooded with picture collectors & other troublemakers. Unlike paid swinger sites, it costs them nothing to be banned and launch a new fake profile. You’ll want to do more sleuthing regarding swingers on the free sites.
Collect Payment Information
This is for the bigger swinger party hosts & not for couples dating. Safer for organizers to skip the one-click payments or cash-at-the-door options. Opting for online credit card payment will give you their name & address. Scammers won’t want to do that.
Many legit swingers don’t like to do it, but it’s a good safeguard when dealing with complete strangers. Better to be safe & not sorry, especially if these strangers aren’t verified on the local swinger site. PS You can let returning attendees pay cash at the door to save on credit card fees.
Phone Interviews Before Swinger Meet Ups
Before you meet any stranger for a swinger date or invite them to your party, you should chat with them on the phone. Make sure to voice verify them & their partner. There are still some single men who try to pose as a couple. This is also an excellent time to ensure both of them are on board with swinging & neither one is being surprised by it (yes, that also still happens). A quick chat & flirt can save everyone time. You can learn their play style & other preferences to see if it will be a good fit for everyone. They can also ask questions like driving directions, house rules, etc., so things go smoothly when you meet.
A bit of an advanced tip, aka paranoid precaution, is to ask them to retell some things you may have learned from their swinger profile or the social media profile they shared with you. Are they being consistent (a sign of honesty), or do the stories not much (hint at potential liars)?
Reverse Phone Lookups
Another reason to schedule a phone interview is that it will give you their phone numbers. Many swingers don’t feel comfortable sharing their private information but will gladly share their phone numbers so you can text & chat with each other. That’s another bit of information you can investigate. Do a reverse phone lookup on Google to see if it’s associated with scams or drama.
Some swingers use a separate Google Voice account for extra swinger privacy (ps, it’s free, so grab one for yourself). These VOIP phone numbers tend to bring up no results. Don’t worry. That isn’t a red flag. It is simply not a green flag. The real scammers will have plenty of bad stories showing up on Google because they tend not to change their phone numbers.
Search Google
This is especially important if you are hosting strangers at a large party. You don’t want to risk your reputation by allowing a scammer to join & mingle amongst your swinger friends. If you are selling tickets – look at the name & address used for payment and see what pops up when you Google it. That can sound a little creepy, but it is really common sense. Wouldn’t you want to know if someone has been arrested for domestic violence or fraud?
A quick search on Google can put your mind at ease. Professional escorts do this all the time to protect themselves. Shouldn’t you take the same precautions? You can also see if their name comes up clean in the USA with the National Sex Offender Public Website.
Lifestyle Security
If you are hosting a big event, you should have security—an extra set of eyes & hands to help you if something doesn’t go according to plan. The bigger the crowd, the more likely something won’t go according to plan. It could be as innocent as someone accidentally drinking too much and passing out or worse.
Where to find this help? Well, it is no secret that plenty of law enforcement enjoy the lifestyle. You can ask one of them to help you or to recommend someone. Another benefit of having a lifestyle-friendly police officer help with security is they have access to information that the general public doesn’t have. They can give an excellent additional perspective to your invite list. Why not use all the resources you can to ensure you & your friends stay safe?
Ask Your Swinger Friends
Speaking of using all the resources, you can enlist the help of your lifestyle network. Ask for personal recommendations. A local lifestyle community tends to be well-connected, with most people being friends of each other or at least friends of friends. If you want to run safer events, then you might want to assemble a committee of your more talkative swinger friends.
That cadre has probably chatted up most of the local community at one point or another and can give good feedback on whether someone is a good match.
Trust your instincts!
If you aren’t sure, you can meet for casual drinks at a vanilla place to gain a better perspective. Trust yourself. Your intuition is another helpful clue to use in your review process.
If something seems too good to be true, it probably is fake. There are plenty of great people in the lifestyle that none of us need to take unnecessary risks. Better to walk away safe and find someone else. Happy Swinging!