You found a great swinger profile & think they would be the perfect play partners. So how do you make first contact? What are the tips to ensure your DMs & mail come across well to give the best chance of naughty fun? Sit back & keep reading. We’ll explain what to do & not to do when reaching out to swingers.
Stop striking out & missing connections. Here are nine ways you could boost your success. Let’s get smart & savvy when replying to those hot swinger profile ads!
Read Their Ad Twice Before Messaging Once
We know how exciting it can be when we find a great local swinger connection. That excitement can make us rush & overlook certain details. That mistake can really sabotage our swinger’s success. Take the time to read & re-read their profile.
Pay attention if they are asking for any specific. Are they only interested in bisexual swingers? Did they mention a certain age range or play style? Make sure you match up with their criteria. If you don’t match their criteria, don’t waste their time & your time. Move on. You’ll have better success posting your own swinger ad than sending unsolicited messages to swingers that you don’t match their preferences.
Don’t Try To Change Their Minds
We were serious when we said only message them if you match their ad. If they say no single men, or they only want to play in a certain area, or whatever else – you should respect their preferences. If they mentioned it, then it’s important to them. It is highly unlikely you are going to change their mind, so don’t waste your time or theirs.
You don’t want to build a bad reputation or be banned. Instead of wasting your time, post your own swinger ad. This way, you’ll connect with other swingers that are a good match for you. Who knows maybe the first poster will see your ad.
Put Effort Into Your Message
Show them you are serious & skip those low-effort messages like “hey” or “what’s up?”. Show that you read their profile. Remember how you took the time to ensure you matched up with their ad? Now is the time to let them know. Mention all the things they mentioned that you match.
Remember, we’re trying to spark a connection. For a hot connection, we need both sides to be communicating. So after you point out how you match up with what they shared, share a bit about yourselves. Then lead it into an open-ended question for them to answer. Something like “What’s your favorite club?” or “How did you get started?” This gives them an easy way to interact and grow this spark into a hot time.
Share Your Pics
Swinging is about attraction, so be prepared to share your pics sooner than later. None of us want to waste time with back & fourth messages to discover there isn’t a hot attraction. If you are worried about privacy, you can save your face pics for later, but you should definitely share some pics from the neck down early in the process.
Notice we said pics, not pic. Make sure you & your partner are both present in your swinger pics unless you are looking for a solo date. Share recent pics & have at least one pic show both of you together. You want to show you are legit & not some creepy single person trying to catfish swingers.
Sharing your pics is a great way to ask for their pics. The faster we see pics, the faster we know if mutual attraction exists. We don’t want to waste time on dead ends without attraction.
Don’t Flash Your Junk
Unless they EXPLICITLY request a pic of your junk, keep the pics in the tasteful category. You are better than this, seriously. Take sexy pics that aren’t another lazy pic of our junk. Sending unsolicited junk pics 99% of the time comes across as dull & lazy – a real turn-off.
Show your creativity by artfully hiding it. Cover it with something humorous like a pineapple or something relevant to their ad (like a shirt for their favorite team or band). Spark their interest with some naughty creativity. Leaving something to their imagination makes the pic much hotter and avoids the ugh factor.
99% of us have equipment that looks the same as everyone else. So 99% of the time, don’t flash your junk.
Spell Check Is Sexy
Take a second to proofread your message & make sure it is error-free. Did you spell their name correctly? Show them that you have a brain. Many swingers are big-time sapiosexuals, so show off your brain. You don’t have to be stiff or overly formal. You simply want to show that you care. Make them feel valued enough that you aren’t sending them a sloppy message.
Keep it Positive
Swingers hate haters. Avoid any negativity in your message. That means no complaining, whining, or dissing anything or anyone. Swinging is supposed to be a fun bonus for us. Swingers don’t want drama or headaches.
Flip the script and replace it with turn-ons. What do you like about them? What do you find exciting? What hot fantasies do you have? What do you enjoy doing? Think about the things that will unite you together & skip the things that can divide or drive away swingers. That could be live music you can check out together or share your favorite cocktail recipes. Share the fun parts of your life to boost your odds of attracting them.
Use Interesting Opening Lines
First impressions can be the most important, so put your best foot forward (especially if they are into feet). Not sure how to open it? Say something funny, or steal a funny line from a movie or tv show they mentioned in their profile. That shows that you have a shared love & good taste. You want to grab their attention and get them interested.
You could start with a funny “would you rather” question & incorporate things from their swinger ad. Be creative to make a memorable impression. Honestly, this one is an advanced tip and is not needed. Simply putting in a decent effort to show you have things in common is more than enough for most swinger connections.
Mind Your Messaging Ratio
We just gave you a bunch of tips, so our final tip is to not go over the top. Act cool & avoid the word vomit. Do your best to control your excitement.
Roughly match the length of their swinger ad. Don’t write a full-page message if their ad was only a paragraph or two. It will more likely freak them out than turn them on.
Keep it casual and relaxed. Don’t act like a stage 5 clinger. You can lead the conversation a little bit and put in a little more effort than they did. Avoid suffocating them with too many messages or crazy long messages. Better to spend that energy & time reaching out to other swingers or posting a swinger ad for yourself.
Wrapping Up
You can do this! Don’t worry about rejection. It happens & it is a good thing. The faster we politely reject each other, the faster we can spend our time with the swingers that have a mutual attraction. Go out there and make your best first impression. In the wise words of Gretzky, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So go ahead and take your best shots!