• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Swingers Help

Discover the sexy open relationship lifestyle

  • How to Swing
    • Swinger Etiquette
    • Safety Tips
    • Reviews & Resources
    • Free Book & Newsletter
    • Hotwifing
  • Swing & Tell
    • Podcasts
    • Swingfessions Comic
    • Share Your Story
  • Lifestyle Tips
    • Handling Emotions
    • Flirting Tips
    • Games
    • Hosting
    • Relationship Tools
  • Find Local Swingers
    • Most Popular Swinging Sites
    • Swinger Site Reviews
    • Club Directory
  • Travel
    • Guide to Desire Resorts
    • Guide to Swinger Cruises
    • Swinger Travel Tips
You are here: Home / Swinging Basics / How to Explain Swinging

How to Explain Swinging

Swinging is consensual non-monogamy.  It is when you engage in sexual fun with anyone other than your special someone but with the happy consent of your special someone.  Both swinging partners view sex as being healthy, fun, pleasurable, and natural.  Swingers see sex between informed and consenting adults as a wonderful thing. Not everyone shares this point of view. We aren’t saying they are wrong but we respectfully have a different opinion and prefer to see the world with a more sex-positive perspective. 

Another important thing to mention is that swinging is not just about sexual pleasure. Usually Hollywood portrays the swinging lifestyle as purely sex-based, the reality of swinging is a bit more complex. Swinging is more about communication, community, and consent. Communication is extremely important, both with your partner and with the other swingers you encounter. This communication helps the swinging community be a safe space, where personal needs and preferences are respected. In your everyday life, you probably encounter judgment, cruelty, disrespect, and pressure.  That negativity is unwelcome in the swinging community. All happy people are invited to the lifestyle!  The swinging community is very low-pressure, where you can involve yourself as much or as little as you want.  Life is short! Swingers want to enjoy life as much as possible & that starts by being nice and respecting each other.

Sex Isn’t Dirty

Swinging might sound nice for other people but maybe you still have reservations when it comes to your own relationship? Society has strongly ingrained the concept of strict monogamy and it can be hard to consider an alternative. You maybe have been told “people that enjoy sex are sluts and they should be ashamed” or a similar sentiment.  Does that sound familiar?  Take a deep breath and relax.  More and more people understand that sex is fun and we shouldn’t be ashamed that we enjoy it and definitely shouldn’t be ashamed if we have sexy talents.  Polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are slowly gaining respect and more attention. We‘ll explain how it is possible to safeguard and even enhance your loving relationship while adding some sexy spice to your life. In the swinging lifestyle, happiness can be achieved in many ways, including sometimes breaking out of manufactured boundaries imposed by society.

Society likes to lump sex and romance together but they are most definitely two unique things. Yes, sometimes we can use sex to show our romantic love to our special someone but they are not the same thing.  Won’t you still romantically love your special someone when you are 100 years old and past your sexy time?  Since romance and sex are two distinct concepts, let’s imagine going to a concert with friends.  If your friends asked you to join them dancing at the concert, would you be upset?  Doubtful, you would probably say yes because dancing is fun.  The more people dancing together is just more fun for everyone.  At the end of the night, everyone is going to head home with the love of their life because it was just dancing and you were only having fun. We are going to make a jump here, so take a deep breath and exhale.  Now, what if it wasn’t a dance but a sexy fun time?  What if you temporarily had physical fun with your friends before going home with your loved one?  That jump was probably too big for you right now and that is ok since we haven’t finished explaining this very different way to view relationships.

Swingers understand that sexy fun is just that … physical fun.  It is not romantic and definitely not a replacement for the sexiest person they know … that special someone who they love above all others.

Home Cooking vs. Eating Out

For those having trouble understanding swinging, it might help to imagine it in terms of food. Your partner is an amazing cook. The food he or she makes is your absolute favorite. You’d be happy to eat their food every night for the rest of your life. No one can make their recipes quite the same way. But, sometimes, you like to go out to eat or eat at a friend’s house.

It’s not because you’re tired of your partner’s cooking, or don’t like it anymore, but because you’re curious about what the new café in town is serving. It’s fun to break out of your routine and try something new. Your love for your partner’s home-cooked meals doesn’t diminish even if you discover you like the appetizers at a restaurant.

You might even discover a new way to spice up a favorite home-cooked dish that makes it even better. Some recipes are perfect on their own, but there’s always the possibility to improve others. Swinging allows you to sample some new sexual flavors, and enhance your sexual relationship with your own partner, without diminishing your love, desire, or affection for your special partner.

Lending Library

Another way to look at swinging is by comparing it to a library. A very sexy lending library. You have your favorite book. You love this book! This book gets you, it knows you, it connects with you like no other book has or ever will. This book seems like it was written just for you, and you’re amazed every time you read it. You could spend the rest of your life stuck on a deserted island with this book. But sometimes, you still look at other books. You’re interested in their attractive covers. You’re curious about what’s inside. This curiosity is perfectly natural. Opening a new book is fun and exciting. You can really enjoy a new book. It doesn’t mean the new book is better than your favorite book. It’s just different, and those differences make it fun to read new books. You might learn something from the new book that makes your favorite book even more special or helps you understand your favorite book better.

For swingers, the lifestyle provides a huge lending library of sexy books you can briefly check out. Your favorite book can be read by others, too – sharing your favorite book with another person doesn’t make it any less special. In fact, having someone else read your favorite book for the first time might remind you why it’s your favorite book, and reinforce your appreciation for it. You can return home from this sexy lending library with a new, deeper enjoyment of your favorite book, and maybe some new plot twists you can introduce to the narrative.

In these situations, you can acknowledge that as much as you love your partner and find them attractive and sexy, it’s natural to be curious about other people. Swinging can help couples discover new things.  Sex with people outside your relationship can help you enhance the sexy fun time in your romantic relationship. You may both learn new things to bring home and try out on each other and find renewed passion for things that have grown a little stale.

We invite you to keep exploring and reading the articles on this website to learn more about swinging so you can make the best decision for your own personal situation.  Everyone is different.  Swinging is a good match for everyone and not the best idea for other people.  At the very least it is an interesting concept to discuss with your special someone.

Last Updated: January 7, 2021
Written By:Dr. Georgia

Primary Sidebar

Welcome to the Swingers Lifestyle

Welcome to Swingers Help! We’re Dr. Georgia & Will Fuchs, a married couple who have been enjoying our swinging time through the consensual non-monogamy community. Our experience hasn’t been perfect or drama-free but we don’t regret at all making the decision to start swinging. To share our swinging enjoyment, we authored the top ranked Swingers’ Little Helper book and provide free videos, articles, games, & relationship exercises on this site.  Join us as we share our insights on the swinging lifestyle.

Swingers Little Helper Book
Ready to Swing Quiz
Popular Swinger Sites

Join our monthly newsletter!

Swinging tips, games, free stuff & more!

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Popular Topics

Aftercare BBW Clothes Conversation Starters Cruises Deciding Desire Resorts Emotions Etiquette Fetish Flirting Games Group Play Health Hosting Hotel Takeover Hotwife Intimacy Race/Culture Relationship Help Religion Research Rules Safety Senior Swingers Single Men Single Women Technology Threesomes Tools Worries Young Swingers

Lifestyle Wisdom

Only Go As Fast As The Slowest Pineapple. Things are sweeter when they ripen at their own pace.  Enjoy the journey & don’t rush.

Swingers Help Copyright © 2025 · Contact Us · About Us · Privacy Policy · Affiliate Disclosure · SZC Log in

Only Go As Fast As The Slowest Pineapple