You joined a swinger dating site but aren’t having much luck connecting with people. Why aren’t other swingers swarming your profile? How do you create the best swinger profile to attract great matches for you?
No worries, we are here to unlock the secrets of being successful with swinger sites. We’ll explain the common pitfalls and tricks to turbocharge the success rate of your swinger dating profile.
Upgrade to a Paid Account
Swingers don’t like wasting money, but they also don’t like wasting time on scammers & time wasters. This is why most swingers immediately filter out free accounts in their search results. Upgrading to a paid account shows you are serious and not a free-loading picture collector. Let’s be honest, most swinger sites only charge a few dollars a month, so this isn’t a huge expense, but it is a big help to making connections.
Get Certified
The next step to showing you are legit is to become certified (some sites call it verified). Each swinger site handles this slightly differently, but basically, it is a process that allows members to vouch for each other. So after meeting a couple in real life or attending a swinger club, you can certify them, and/or they can certify you. A certification is usually a few vague lines about how great your date or meeting was. If you don’t like the cert, you can decline it, and it won’t display.
Try
Show you are putting in a genuine effort. If you have writer’s block check out what other swingers’ profiles are saying to inspire you but do not just mimic someone else’s story. Your profile creates the first impression and should reflect the best of the real you. Write more than the bare minimum and proofread it. Many free tools like Grammarly are available, so there is no excuse for not running your profile text through one.
Talk About Positive Things
People are looking for fun. Don’t mention polarizing things like politics on your swinger profile. Focus on things that bring people together. What do you like to do besides sex? Sports, concerts, movies, games, cooking? Show a bit of your fabulous personality and sound like more than a horny person looking for action. You can keep it sexy and talk about what is on your sex fantasy wishlist, but don’t lead with that.
Minimize the complaining & negativity. Giving a laundry list of pet peeves and turn-offs is a turn-off. Keep the focus on sexy fun & avoid being a whiny buzzkill.
Have Good Pictures For Both Of You
Physical attraction is a big part of swinging, so show off your best assets. Check out Youtube for tips on lighting, angles, makeup, etc. Read up on boudoir photo tips. Put real effort into making the best first impression. Don’t sabotage your hotness in a cluttered space or unappealing background. Help each other take sexy pics so you are both well represented. Women aren’t interested in couples that make them guess what the man looks like.
Be Realistic
Time for a reality check. It isn’t wise to only reach out to unicorns 20 years younger than you. Yes, most swingers are open-minded, so anything can happen. However, only chasing after ridiculous longshots will more likely lead to frustration than happy memories.
Open up your own mind to the many potential connections right in front of you. Why limit yourself to certain demographics and box yourself in? Plenty of swingers look terrific and have fantastic personalities to match but will not appear in your restrictive search results.
Proactively Send Quality Messages
Are you wondering why no one is sending you messages? Well, they are probably wondering the same thing! Stop acting like scared kids attending their first school dance. When you find a profile that interests you, speak up. Send them a quality message that shows you read their profile and why you think there would be a good connection. Make sure to mention specific things you have in common and what moved you to reach out to them. If you put in zero effort sending a message that only says “hi,” expect to receive zero effort in their response (if they bother to respond at all).
Ask open-ended questions
Many swingers are shy and a bit socially awkward. Make it easy for them to have something to respond to and keep the flirting rolling along. A good intro message will start with a compliment, mention something specific in common, and then follow up with an open-ended question.
For example, “Great pictures, you both look awesome in those beach shots. Do you have a favorite close by? We are big fans of Name-Your-Beach because of the calm waves. We also love being on the lake and sometimes enjoy naughty suntanning on a boat with friends. How do you keep your sexy tans in top shape?”
Understand They’re Busy
Many couples are busy in their vanilla lives with work and family. Make it easy for them. Send a good first message that is engaging and makes responding feel natural. Once there is a connection, propose a real-life meeting. Finding a place & volunteering to make the reservations avoids adding another task to their already long vanilla “to do” list. For even better odds of a positive response, suggest two different kinds of places so they can choose a setting they prefer. For example, instead of offering two trendy bistros for dinner, suggest one restaurant and one bar if they’d rather do casual drinks instead of a full dinner. You might want to suggest a dinner option and an activity option. Keep in mind that bowling and mini-golf are much better first dates than a movie!
Don’t Be Pushy Or Demanding
Be ready to exchange pics but don’t demand any. Volunteering your pics without them asking can help jumpstart it (“hey, we unlocked our private pic folder if you are interested”). Keep it friendly and let them share what they want when they feel comfortable. Opening up your pictures or sharing your details doesn’t entitle you to theirs. Be respectful and understanding. They may simply be busy with their vanilla life or waiting to chat with each other so they don’t miscommunicate something. Even if you think they broke swinger etiquette, let it go. Better to focus your energy on happier & more favorable opportunities.
Phew! That was a lot. Honestly, you don’t even need to do all of this. We wanted to make you aware of the more common ways other swinger couples are screening profiles to avoid these pitfalls. Now you can boost your odds and increase the connections you are making on your swinger site. Happy swinging!