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You are here: Home / Lifestyle Tips / Hotwife Aftercare 101

Hotwife Aftercare 101

It can be amazing being married to a hotwife. She’s a sexy open-minded superwoman.  The excitement and arousing situations can be spectacular as you both explore your sexual sides.

Sometimes that excitement can make it easy to forget that even a superwoman can need a cuddle from time to time. After she comes home from being the sexual superhero she is, exploring all sorts of hotwifing scenarios, a bit of aftercare will go a long way.  Emotions can sometimes be a bit turbulent after a hotwife session.

Simply because a woman gets her kicks from being a hotwife doesn’t mean that she is immune to mixed feelings after sexy experiences. There is often a come down where she may be inclined to overthink certain things. This may not be the case for your wife, or it may pass very quickly but could also linger on for a few days. Regardless, it is always nice to tell her how amazing she is afterward and how lucky you feel that when all is said and done, she comes home to you.

Caring For Her

Everyone’s post-sex needs are different, so be patient and ask her what she wants. She may want to share all the hot details with you right away if you weren’t with her for the action.  This conversation may put you both in the mood for some more fun. On the other hand, she may just want to relax and sleep a good bit after the adventure she just experienced.

It’s wise to remember that sometimes a woman (regardless of how much she enjoyed it) can be a bit sore and achy afterward, especially if it was a long session in bed. Letting her sleep it off can be a very caring gesture.  She will probably be back to her usual amazing self by the next morning.

Sometimes a hotwife can feel rejected or less attractive if she doesn’t hear back from the bull she played with. Stags might have a hard time understanding this but rest assured, there is no need to feel jealous. Even though it was just sex for all involved, most women still liked to hear how hot they were and how they rocked everybody’s world. It has nothing to do with her wanting the bull on any deeper level; it’s just simply a little ego boost that some ladies like to have.

You can reassure her that he hasn’t been in touch because he probably doesn’t want to infringe on anyone’s personal space.  You can also compliment her on how her sex game is the best, and her beauty takes your breath away.

It is always a good time to use words and actions to show her that you can’t believe you are married to someone as incredible as she is.  To demonstrate how lucky you feel to have such a super sexy wife, you could prepare a nice relaxing bubble bath for her or give her a massage to soothe her tired muscles and let your fingers enjoy her sexy body.

While you debrief afterward, you may want to talk together about which hotwife situation suits her emotional needs better.  A recurring playmate can help avoid feeling unwanted afterward, or she may prefer to keep it to one-nighters to focus solely on physical connection and not deal with any relationship maintenance. Of course, you need to make sure that you are comfortable with these scenarios too.

Hubbies Need Aftercare Too

Okay, ladies, this isn’t all about you. Hubbies need hotwife aftercare too. Regardless of how hot he finds watching you with another man or knowing you are with one, don’t forget that it’s just you and him at the end of the night.

When reconnecting after play dates, make sure to remind him that he is still number one in your life. Let him know how grateful you are that he is willing to explore with you sexually and that he trusts you to play with other men when he is not present.

You may be tired when you come in from a date without him, but remember that he has been up alone thinking about you, worrying that you are okay, and anticipating your return. If he enjoys hearing juicy details right away, try to share a few before you roll over for the night, even if you are tired. Let him know you will fill him in on the rest in the morning. If you are up for another round or two, show him just how happy you are to be able to come home to him in your own bed.

Texting your bull can be new and exciting, but remember to be mindful of your husband’s feelings. Depending on what his kinks, be careful not to spend all your time smiling and texting on your phone unless that’s something that also turns him on. Make sure he knows he is still your first priority and the one you will put the most effort into being present for. After all, the situation with your bull is just sex.  It can’t compare to the amazing relationship you have with your husband.

Some stags like to reclaim their vixen when she gets home from a solo date. In these situations, you both need to be mindful of each other. If your vixen is too tired or, for any other reason, doesn’t want to have sex, respect her decision, and don’t push it too much or take it personally. More than likely, she just needs her beauty sleep, is possibly a little sore, and wants to process the date she has just been on.

Ladies do try and be attentive to your stag’s needs after your dates. Whereas you may have been well and truly satisfied on your solo trip out on the town, he has been waiting up for your return, and his needs shouldn’t come second to anyone else’s. If you are too exhausted for more sex, just let him know that you want to give him your best performance so you will make up for it in the morning.

On the other hand, if you are able for more then make a big deal of showing him that he is still king of the castle and your bull always comes second to him. Be as energetic and happy to be with your husband as you were with your bull earlier that night.

Do What’s Best For Your Relationship

With all that said, every couple is different. Knowing each other’s turn ons, boundaries, and limits is an essential part of making the hotwife experience work. Be as open as possible when discussing what you like and why you like it. The better that your partner understands your desires, the less likely they are to need reassurance and a lot of hand-holding afterward.

As sexually liberated as exploring hotwifing can be, simply being in a loving and trusting relationship is its own reward. Regardless of how your other half appears to be mood-wise, make the day afterward one where you spend together with a lot of re-connection and attention from both sides.

Hotwifing can be decidedly different than swinging together as a couple. Swinging often emphasizes being a team and sticking together, but hotwifing can create opportunities for solo action.   As with all aspects of the sexy lifestyle, trust is the key to making it work. Sometimes the best aftercare can be simply letting your partner know that you trusted them and still do. Having a partner with that much faith in you can be the best feeling in the world.

Last Updated: March 30, 2023
Written By:Dr. Georgia
Tagged With: Aftercare, Hotwife

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Welcome to Swingers Help! We’re Dr. Georgia & Will Fuchs, a married couple who have been enjoying our swinging time through the consensual non-monogamy community. Our experience hasn’t been perfect or drama-free but we don’t regret at all making the decision to start swinging. To share our swinging enjoyment, we authored the top ranked Swingers’ Little Helper book and provide free videos, articles, games, & relationship exercises on this site.  Join us as we share our insights on the swinging lifestyle.

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