So you want to invite some swingers over to your house for a sexy time? Great idea! House parties are awesome, but they usually require a bit of work. Your pals at Swingers Help are happy to help you make this a sexy, fun & safe experience for you and all of your guests. We’ll walk you through the different things to consider and plan for a swinger party, so let’s start…
Free Swinger Party or Paid House Party?
First, let’s talk about free vs. paid house parties. Some people charge each attendee a party fee for their house parties. We do not recommend this. Charging money can turn this into a business situation and possibly make your homeowners’ insurance null & void. When you charge money, swingers tend to raise their expectations. Unless you have experience hosting amazing parties, it is safer to offer the house party as a free event to your friends and soon-to-be friends.
How many people?
If you are worried about germs, you should keep the numbers down and limit the people you can trust & personally know. Some germs can spread before symptoms appear, so be careful and plan accordingly. If you are worried about germs, stick with a free party among only your close friends. This way, if anyone isn’t feeling well or is worried they might have been exposed to bad germs, they can easily cancel and avoid the risk of spreading those germs to anyone else.
The next step is to figure out how many people can comfortably fit in your house. Think of the socializing areas (living room, kitchen, dining room, outdoor patio) separately from your swinging play areas (bedrooms, basement, living room). You want people to socialize without feeling the need to play, so you should have designated social areas where playing is discouraged. Plus, no one likes to visit a buffet line within splatter distance of bodily fluids, so keep the play & social areas apart. As for the play areas, you want plenty of space. You can never have enough beds. Air mattresses are ok, but a hidden murphy bed is even better and keeps your space versatile when you aren’t hosting swinger parties.
Ok, back to our calculations. People aren’t going to run off to the play areas immediately, so you likely will need a socializing space that is big enough to accommodate all the invitees. You don’t necessarily need enough seating for everyone in the socializing space as house parties tend to be more of a standing-up cocktail mingling party style.
Inviting Swingers
Once you know how many people you can accommodate, it is time to invite people and announce the party. Make sure to do it several weeks in advance so people can arrange their schedules to attend. If you absolutely want a certain swinger friend to attend, ask them first to ensure they are available. If you are thinking about a big party, it is helpful to have close swinger friends attend since they can be an extra set of hands & eyes helping you. When thinking about who to invite, lean towards more social people. The smaller the party, the bigger impact shy people can make at your party. If you only invite three couples to your house party and one of them turns into a shy wallflower, it can be awkward. You might end up chatting with the shy people and never playing while the other couples use your house by themselves and no one is pleased. If you invite new swingers you haven’t met, make sure they are certified and/or talk with both of them to make sure they both understand the situation. You don’t want surprises or drama at your party. Expect 10-30% of people not showing. The number of no-shows can vary. You might even have everyone show-up but expect the usual swinger flakiness.
When people RSVP, make sure to send them the party rules & any other useful information like directions to the party. It helps to set-up a clear marker on your house like balloons or a favorite sports team flag, so the sexy people know they are knocking on the correct door and not accidentally bothering your vanilla neighbors.
As for party rules, you should think about your comfort level. Is the entire house available, or do you want to exclude certain areas like your kids’ bedroom or your office? Where is nudity allowed & not allowed (does any room have large windows)? Are drinks and food allowed everywhere or limited to certain areas? Are people allowed to smoke inside, outside, or not allowed? Are people allowed to congregate outside, or do you have nosy neighbors that are prone to call the police? Can they sit naked, or do they need a towel (the answer is always a towel)? Are you providing bath towels, or should they bring their own towels? When they use your beds, should they replace them with clean sheets (you provide) for the next couple? Is there a time people need to arrive by before you lock the door so you can also play? Can people sleepover, or is there a hard finish time when everyone needs to leave? Are there any special parking instructions (more people, more cars)? Any clothing requirements to enter the house, or are you ok with topless bikinis walking up to your front door? Do people need to bring anything (condoms, alcohol, food, whatever)? You may think some of the swinger questions are silly. Please trust us. We have seen silly things. The more information & rules you provide, the better everyone can respect your wishes and keep the party rolling in the right direction.
Once all of the RSVPs are received, you might want to let everyone know who else will be attending. You can share their online screen names so they can be contacted while still protecting their full names. It can help jumpstart connections & flirting before your party. The more connected your guests feel with each other, the less likely they will be no-shows. Your guests will thank you for helping them make their party experience even hotter. We all know that it is much easier to cook with a pre-heated oven 😉
Before people start arriving, you should designate a place for food and drinks. It is usually helpful to have easy finger foods that people can munch on while chatting with others. Don’t fret too much about the food. Swingers are looking less for elegance and more for functionality. They want tasty, easy to eat, and without any lingering breath issues. A fan favorite is petite BLT sandwiches. These two-bite finger sandwiches with their tasty bacon give a nice energy boost to recharge after a play session. That’s right; we should have mentioned people will often seek out munchies after their play sessions. You can keep the buffet out or switch it with some dessert trays. Your desserts should also be easy to eat while standing – cupcakes, brownies, cookies are all good ideas.
The drink station should have plenty of extra space. You can provide all of the booze, but usually, hosts only supply glasses, ice (buy extra bags), mixers & water (buy extra cases). Guests usually bring their own booze. Some guests might forget to bring enough booze, and booze is a social lubricant so try to have a spare supply. The good news is that you will often end up with many half-used liquor bottles after the party. Many swingers forget to take home their bottles when they leave. You can store them away and use them as your reserve supply for future house parties or make yourself a drink the next morning as you clean up.
It would be best if you started to prepare for the party many hours before it starts. You might be interrupted in your party set-up with last-minute emails & texts, making it go slower than normal. You want to finish your party prep work early, so you have enough time to shower & prep your sexy body and be ready for any early arrivals. In other words, you can never start too early prepping for a swinger party. Gather everything that you absolutely love and put it somewhere safe. When you have drunk people, accidents can happen. Speaking of accidents, prepare a spill kit before the party. Just in case someone spills a glass of red wine or whatever else. You can quickly handle it and get back to having fun. While we are talking about spillage, let’s also protect your bed mattresses with waterproof mattress pads. You don’t want to have a mattress ruined with body fluids. It is also wise to place a small garbage can & extra bedsheets in each play area.
Woo-hoo, it is party time! People are starting to arrive. Most swingers tend to arrive late and may arrive very late. Don’t freak out if people are slow to show up. Try to stay close to the front door so one of you can welcome your guests. As people arrive, could you have one of you give them a tour? Show them first where they can drop off their coats and then drop off their booze, then the socializing areas, play areas, bathrooms, garbage cans (aka condom disposal spots), and off-limit areas. The tour is a good time to remind them of party rules.
As the group starts to build in your social area, remind people to keep the sexy play to the appropriate spots when things heat up. To help heat things up, you can play some games. Spin the bottle is fun but risky since not everyone might be willing to kiss everyone else. The “Never, Have I Ever” game is a quick way to uncover hot fantasies and sexy accomplishments without any play pressure. You could also try our hot tub swinger games.
The party will eventually roll along on its own, and you can have your own fun. When people are ready to leave, or you thank everyone for coming but explain you need to work tomorrow (hint, hint, it is time you want them to leave), make sure they are ok to drive. If someone gets drunk at your house and causes an accident, you can be legally liable. Check with your local laws, and don’t take any chances. Keep everyone safe & alive. As each couple leaves, ask them if they have everything (arrival clothes, play clothes, underwear, alcohol, play bag, etc.). Before you open the door to let them out, remind them about your sleeping neighbors. You want to keep your neighbors happy and don’t want police responding to noise complaints.
The next day you are most likely going to be very sleep deprived. Swinger parties can easily go on until 4 am, and then you still need to clean up a little, like putting away the food and changing the sheets so you can sleep in a clean bed. You might be going to sleep closer to 6 am.
You still need to clean the house properly. There will be several loads of laundry as you wash all the dirty bedsheets and bath towels. You will have a mountain of bottles & cans to collect from around the house and trash that needs to be taken out. Let’s not forget a sink filled with dirty dishes & trays. You will have to deal with that inevitable spilled red wine that you probably decided to ignore so you could enjoy sexy playtime. Swingers are usually a very polite bunch, but silly things can happen when the passion is high. You should carefully look over all spaces to make sure there isn’t something small like a condom wrapper in your potted plant or a beer bottle in your shower stall, or a forgotten g-string in your couch cushions. Now go re-check everything before your kids come home from their sleepover.
Congrats, and get some sleep. That was an epic house party.
Of course, if you want to throw the ultimate house party, here are some ultra-advanced, next-generation, transcendent level party tips:
- Stripper pole/dancing pole professionally installed. It can be extremely dangerous if not properly installed. You don’t want to have to call an ambulance when you are naked.
- Spare coat rack for the living room. Vanilla parties usually put the extra coats on a bed, but those beds have a better purpose at swinger parties.
- Empty cubbies (cube storage) help people looking for a place to drop off their clothes/shoes/supplies.
- Extra mini-fridges for water, cut fruit, and snacks close to the play areas, so you don’t need to go all the way back to the kitchen.
- Mood lighting (red light bulbs or low lighting) can help. No candles! You are likely going to be distracted for many sexy hours and don’t want a fire hazard.
- Extra condoms & lube for people that forget to bring enough. Make sure to get a variety for different sized people & latex allergies.
- Bathrooms equipped with a basket of spare feminine supplies, mouthwash & disposable cups, extra rolls of toilet paper, automated liquid soap dispensers, paper hand towels instead of a fabric towel, electric potpourri scent (no unattended open flame).
- Make sure the sound system is Bluetooth so you can easily change it from anywhere in the house.
- Plastic drinkware, including plastic wine glasses. People can get overexcited. Limbs can go flying accidentally knocking over a glass. Broken glass is no fun when people are naked so go with plastic, especially around the pool/hot tub.
- Redundancy – you never know where the crazy play might happen. Have supplies in the kitchen, living room, etc., so you can be ready for anything.
- Many towels and not expensive ones. There is a good chance you will need to clean up some red wine or bodily fluids, and you might want to throw away the towel afterward.
- Spare bed sheets for each bed. You can get away with just buying spares of the bottom fitted sheet. No one wants a used bed with a wet spot.
- Sex swings – you will need to install it properly using an overhead support beam. Buy fake smoke detectors to hide the ceiling support points when not in use.
- Liberator sex furniture & pillows. They really are great at helping get the right angles and making it comfortable so you can enjoy that angle for a very long time.
- Sybian or similar sex-machine. Make sure there are condoms near it. Even though it is a sex toy, you still want to play safe.