Your wardrobe is filled with outfits for the office, formal events, casual nights with friends, pajamas, and swimwear. But do you have anything to wear to a swingers party? Deciding which clothes to wear can be one of the hardest parts of getting involved in the swingers lifestyle, but it is really just a matter of taste, comfort, expectations, and confidence.
Before you start thinking about anything, check the dress code. You don’t want to be walking into a party dressed too casually if the theme was burlesque. Dress codes can make the decision of what to wear a bit easier and you know you will fit in if you stick to the guidelines.
Some venues will have strict rules on things like sneakers, so make sure your night isn’t ruined by carefully reading the information on their website or calling in advance.
If you’re attending a private party, usually these are smart casual events, but it is best to ask the host just in case.
You might think a tighter shirt shows off your abs or tighter trousers show off your package and make you look sexier, but if you’re having to suck your gut in or constantly adjust your crotch, you definitely won’t feel it. If you want to look good, you need to feel good too, so make sure you wear clothes that are comfortable. Try to find a balance between comfortable well fitted – be warned, baggy might be more comfortable but it might not be flattering.
If you find that you don’t have anything that fits you well, consider taking your favorite shirts or trousers to a tailor to get them altered, or treating yourself to a new outfit.
Just because your new friends are more open about sex, doesn’t mean they can’t be offended. Think of it like a job interview (only they might try and gauge your sexual preferences, rather than relevant qualifications), so first impressions matter.
Avoid anything that might provoke the wrong reaction, such as slogan T-shirts or anything political, no matter how passionate you are about your cause. Swinging is an opportunity for you to bond with people from all backgrounds, not to throw up new walls.
Easy to Take Off
This one often goes missed by people new to the swingers’ scene. Make sure, if you want to take your clothes off, it is possible to actually take them off.
It might be tempting to try something new that signals how adventurous you are or how sexy you feel, like leather or rubber trousers, or a bondage top, but you might find yourself struggling to take them off in the heat of the moment… or put them back on afterward.
It’s best to avoid anything with complicated straps or fastenings, or anything so figure-hugging you feel like you’re being unwrapped rather than undressed.
Change of Clothes
Some venues have areas where you are only allowed to wear towels or robes so sometimes worth packing these too, while others have swimming pools where you might want to consider bringing a swimsuit and flip flops.
Your clothes make the first impression before you have even spoken to somebody. You want your clothes to not only reflect your personality but also show that you are clean and take care of yourself.
It’s important to stay true to yourself in what you wear. You want to be smart, sure, but you don’t want to act as though you’re someone you’re not. If you’re hoping to form a connection with a stranger, whether a physical one or a more long-lasting companionship, it needs to come on a foundation of truth and honesty.
Don’t feel under any pressure to conform or dress in a way that doesn’t feel natural. Let people see you. The best possible version of you, but still you.
An outfit with a few layers is a good way to be prepared. You might not want to find yourself having to choose between fully clothed and fully naked, if for instance, you’ve been getting hot and steamy indoors, and you head outside for a breath of fresh air, or you want a shed a layer for a bit of contact but don’t yet feel comfortable taking it any further.
Obviously, this is dictated by the dress code, the weather, and the time of year, but try and stay away from a heavy jumper with nothing underneath, or a light shirt with a heavy winter coat. Aim for a nice smart shirt and a lighter jacket or coat.
Everyone has a different idea of sexy, and it is important to wear clothes to your own taste. However, it is best to avoid things that are outdated or tacky. Some of the images of swinging that have endured in popular culture are rooted in the 1960s and 1970s, but leopard print briefs are not to everyone’s taste today.
Treat it as you would a first date, not a stag party.
It should go without saying, but make sure your clothes are clean and ironed. Smelling like smoke, pets, or damp, isn’t a turn on, so it is best to take your clothes straight out of the dryer and put them on just as you’re about to leave for the party.
Cologne is also welcome, as long as it isn’t too overpowering.
It is highly likely you will find yourself walking around in your underwear, so invest in some that are good quality and fashionable. You might feel comfiest in your favorite pair of boxers, but if they’re old, moth-eaten, or faded, it’s probably better to swap them for something new.
And clean, obviously. It might be best you put on your special new briefs just before you head out rather than sitting around in them all day.