It is very important to make sure that your first impression is your best impression! This means men & women both need to step up their grooming game. Many new swingers have been a relationship for so long that they can barely remember being single. Your partner loves you and thinks you’re sexy. They overlook your flaws but potential new play partners might not find those flaws easy to overlook. Swingers tend to take really good care of themselves and expect the same in potential play partners. People in the lifestyle would much rather go home and play with their own sexy hot partner than go slumming with slobs.
Here’s a quick grooming guide to help you fit in with other swingers, who already know how best to present themselves in the lifestyle.
Hairstyle
Most people have a contemporary hair style and that is good. Some people are still rocking a hairdo that was in fashion 20 years ago. If you haven’t updated your hair style in a long time, ask a hair stylist for suggestions. If necessary, find a new, trendy salon or barber shop to visit. There is no need to go crazy, just freshen up your style and show that you are staying current. Think of it this way: a dated hairstyle might hint at dated skills in the bedroom, and you want to show other swingers that you’re up to date and open to trying new things!
Grey Hair
Typically for the rest of the swinging community, some grey hair is a positive sign that you are old enough and mature enough to play. Swingers may avoid immature play partners because they can bring drama and are less likely to be able to handle swapping situations. Think about how you want to represent yourself and what type of swingers you want to target before messing with any grey hair. If you do decide to color your hair, read the fine print and ask your hair stylist about how it will handle the chlorine in hot tubs & pools, which are common at swinging events.
Facial Hair
Regardless if you are clean shaven or have a mustache or beard, make sure your face is neat and clean. This means no messy stubble. A tickly beard or mustache can be nice if it’s well-kept, but stubble is rough. No lady wants you rubbing rough sandpaper against their soft skin, especially if that soft skin is between their legs! You want your face to be soft and smooth if you want the best chance to get close to another swinger.
Eyebrows
Don’t get obsessed about your brows. Obsessed people usually end up plucking their eyebrows till they have nothing left and that isn’t sexy. You can trim any extra long hairs with a scissor, or use tweezers to pluck them away. Just don’t go crazy.
Nose & Ear Hair
Buy a nose trimmer or have your partner carefully use small scissors to trim away hair peeking out of your nose. Don’t overreact or go deep in the nose or ear. Carefully trim any hairs sticking out.
Teeth
You want a good looking (and smelling) smile if you want any chance to attract play partners. Talk to your dentist about teeth whitening, either at the dentist office or with a DIY home kit your dentist recommends. Beware of some DIY teeth whitening products that damage more than they help. Regularly floss or use a Waterpik but not right before a play date because you don’t want inflamed gums. That can possibly increase your STI risk and no one likes kissing bleeding gums.
Right before a play date, lightly brush your teeth and use mouthwash. When you go on a play date, bring a tiny travel size mouthwash bottle and breath mints – and use them. When you go to the bathroom, refresh your breath to make sure you are giving the best impression. If you are a smoker, try using nicotine gum on play dates so you can wait to light your cigarettes after the play date.
Chest Hair
You can use a body groomer to make it manageable and that is usually good enough. If you want a super smooth chest, you probably will want a wax treatment instead of shaving. Shaving your chest can be hard and result in ingrown hairs and other problems.
Back Hair
Try going to a spa for a wax treatment. The sasquatch look hasn’t been sexy for a very long time. You might even want to think about laser hair removal treatment to permanently deal with it. Another option is to have your partner trim it down with a body groomer.
Underarm Hair
Ladies, you already know about shaving this. Men, you need to realize it can be unsexy for ladies to discover a jungle in your armpit. Use some scissors to trim those bushes back to a manageable amount. While you are at it, make sure to use an extra coat of underarm deodorant. Hot sex can get sweaty and you don’t want to start becoming stinky in the middle of a hot play session. Unscented deodorant is a safer bet because a heavily scented deodorant might not smell well to everyone you meet.
Pubic Hair
You will find many different preferences on pubic hair but in general, less is more. You want to be extra careful in this area because it probably isn’t used to being groomed and it is a very curvy (and sensitive!) area to handle. Start with a body groomer to get rid of the heavy stuff. Then if you want, you can shave the rest, but be very careful and shave well in advance of playing. Shaving irritates the skin and irritated skin does not combine well with bumping and grinding. If you don’t want to shave, you can get wax treatment at a spa. If you don’t want to wax, there are chemical hair removal products but be very careful and test them first. Men, after you groom around your sword don’t forget to take care of your dangling family jewels.
Bum Hair
We want to look sexy no matter what, and different angles can give people unique perspectives of your body – including seeing some things we never expected anyone to see! So take care of your bum. Don’t worry. You don’t need to go bare back here but you should trim back excessive hairs so they’re not distracting. Using a body trimmer is a useful tool for this.
Nails
It goes without saying that you want smooth nails, but you also want to trim them back as much as possible. You don’t want to accidentally injure your play partner with a jagged fingernail. A long fingernail can be just as painful when you are rubbing and grabbing someone’s most sensitive body parts. Less is more, even for ladies. Avoid nail extensions, they are just going to break during a frisky play session and long nails can scare away potential play partners. Some guys in the lifestyle will get manicures (without any nail polish or a clear coat) to make sure their nails are in perfect shape for sexy time.
Perfume/Cologne
Just like a sexy bikini, less is more. You want to smell nice and feel confident so use whatever will make you feel confident and sexy. Just don’t over-spritz. You might love that smell and it might drive your partner crazy but other people might not like it. Swinging is about attracting new play partners, so you probably want to worry more about what will work best for the most people. It is usually smarter to have no smell or a very mild smell.