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You are here: Home / Lifestyle Tips / Grooming Guide for Swingers

Grooming Guide for Swingers

It is crucial to make sure that your first impression is your best impression! This means men & women both need to step up their grooming game. Many new swingers have been in a relationship for so long that they can barely remember being single. Your partner loves you and thinks you’re sexy. They overlook your flaws, but potential new play partners might not find those flaws easy to overlook. Swingers tend to take excellent care of themselves and expect the same in potential play partners. People in the lifestyle would much rather go home and play with their own sexy hot partner than slumming with slobs.

Here’s a quick grooming guide to help you fit in with other swingers who already know how best to present themselves in the lifestyle.

Hairstyle

Most people have a contemporary hairstyle, and that is good. Some people are still rocking a hairdo that was in fashion 20 years ago.  If you haven’t updated your hairstyle in a long time, ask a hairstylist for suggestions. If necessary, find a new, trendy salon or barbershop to visit.  There is no need to go crazy. Freshen up your style and show you are staying current. Think of it this way: a dated hairstyle might hint at dated skills in the bedroom, and you want to show other swingers that you’re up to date and open to trying new things!

Grey Hair

Typically for the rest of the swinging community, some grey hair is a positive sign that you are old enough and mature enough to play. Swingers may avoid immature play partners because they can bring drama and are less likely to handle swapping situations. Think about how you want to represent yourself and what type of swingers you want to target before messing with grey hair. If you decide to color your hair, read the fine print and ask your hairstylist how it will handle the chlorine in hot tubs & pools, which are common at swinging events.

Facial Hair

Regardless if you are clean-shaven or have a mustache or beard, make sure your face is neat and clean. This means no messy stubble. A tickly beard or mustache can be nice if it’s well-kept, but stubble is rough. No lady wants you rubbing rough sandpaper against their soft skin, especially if that soft skin is between their legs! You want your face to be soft and smooth if you want the best chance to get close to another swinger.

Eyebrows

Don’t get obsessed with your brows. Obsessed people usually end up plucking their eyebrows until they have nothing left, which isn’t sexy. You can trim any extra long hairs with a scissor or use tweezers to pluck them away. Just don’t go crazy.

Nose & Ear Hair

Buy a nose trimmer or have your partner carefully use small scissors to trim away hair peeking out of your nose. Don’t overreact or go deep in the nose or ear. Carefully trim any hairs sticking out.

Teeth

You want a good looking (and smelling) smile if you want any chance to attract play partners. Talk to your dentist about teeth whitening, either at the dentist’s office or with a DIY home kit your dentist recommends. Beware of some DIY teeth whitening products that damage more than they help. Regularly floss or use a Waterpik but not right before a playdate because you don’t want inflamed gums. That can increase your swinging STI risk, and no one likes kissing bleeding gums.

Right before a play date, lightly brush your teeth and use mouthwash. When you go on a play date, bring a tiny travel size mouthwash bottle and breath mints – and use them. When you go to the bathroom, refresh your breath to make sure you give the best impression. If you are a smoker, try using nicotine gum on play dates so you can wait to light your cigarettes after the playdate.

Chest Hair

You can use a body groomer to make it manageable, and that is usually good enough.  If you want a super smooth chest, you probably will want a wax treatment instead of shaving. Shaving your chest can be hard and result in ingrown hairs and other problems.

Back Hair

Try going to a spa for a wax treatment. The sasquatch look hasn’t been sexy for a very long time. You might even want to think about laser hair removal treatment to deal with it permanently. Another option is to have your partner trim it down with a body groomer.

Underarm Hair

Ladies, you already know about shaving this. Men need to realize it can be unsexy for ladies to discover a jungle in their armpit. Use some scissors to trim those bushes back to a manageable amount. While you are at it, make sure to use an extra coat of underarm deodorant. Hot sex can get sweaty, and you don’t want to start becoming stinky in the middle of a hot play session. Unscented deodorant is a safer bet because a heavily scented deodorant might not smell well to everyone you meet.

Pubic Hair

You will find many different preferences on pubic hair, but in general, less is more. Having untamed hair is not the nicest oral sex etiquette for swingers.  You want to be extra careful in this area because it probably isn’t used to being groomed, and it is a very curvy (and sensitive!) area to handle. Start with a body groomer to get rid of the heavy stuff. If you want, you can shave the rest, but be very careful and shave well in advance of playing. Shaving irritates the skin, and irritated skin does not combine well with bumping and grinding. If you don’t want to shave, you can get wax treatment at a spa. If you don’t want to wax, there are chemical hair removal products, but be very careful and test them first.  After you groom around your sword, don’t forget to take care of your dangling family jewels.

Bum Hair

We want to look sexy no matter what, and different angles can give people unique perspectives of your body – including seeing some things we never expected anyone to see! So take care of your bum.  Don’t worry.  You don’t need to go totally bare back here, but you should trim back excessive hairs, so they’re not distracting. Using a body trimmer is a useful tool for this.

Nails

It goes without saying that you want smooth nails, but you also want to trim them back as much as possible. You don’t want to injure your play partner with a jagged fingernail accidentally. A long fingernail can be just as painful when you rub and grab someone’s most sensitive body parts. Less is more, even for ladies. Avoid nail extensions, they are just going to break during a frisky play session, and long nails can scare away potential play partners.  Some guys in the lifestyle will get manicures (without any nail polish or a clear coat) to make sure their nails are in perfect shape for sexy time.

Perfume/Cologne

Just like a sexy bikini, less is more. You want to smell nice and feel confident so use whatever will make you feel confident and sexy. Just don’t over-spritz. You might love that smell, and it might drive your partner crazy, but other people might not like it. Swinging is about attracting new play partners, so you probably want to worry more about what will work best for the most people. It is usually smarter to have no smell or a very mild smell.

Now that you’ve mastered your grooming game, check out these tips on improving your sexy swinging look to look your best for every swinger party. Remember, the best tip is to boost your sexiness is to smile and be confident. We are our harshest critics, and we are much sexier than we realize. XOXOXOXO

Last Updated: February 21, 2022
Written By:Dr. Georgia
Tagged With: Flirting

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Welcome to Swingers Help! We’re Dr. Georgia & Will Fuchs, a married couple who have been enjoying our swinging time through the consensual non-monogamy community. Our experience hasn’t been perfect or drama-free but we don’t regret at all making the decision to start swinging. To share our swinging enjoyment, we authored the top ranked Swingers’ Little Helper book and provide free videos, articles, games, & relationship exercises on this site.  Join us as we share our insights on the swinging lifestyle.

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