You’ve been sitting on the sofa enjoying some casual flirting. Dinner and a drink later, and the flirtation has been fun, but you feel it’s time to transition to sexy playtime. It can be nerve-wracking – what if she doesn’t like or if he wants to go home?
Assuming the flirting is still going strong (and if it isn’t – perhaps it’s time to consider they aren’t interested), here are a few tips on transitioning from flirting to naked sexy playtime.
Increase eye contact
You’re probably already making a fair bit of eye contact at this point, but you can slightly step this up to give a hint that you would like to take things further. Regular eye contact lasts about 3 seconds, but holding it for even just a moment longer can signal that you’re really interested. And that you might have started thinking bedroom thoughts.
Tell them you desire them
This one is pretty self-explanatory, and you’d think common sense, but tell them you desire them. You could do this directly (“You really turn me on”) or a little indirectly (“You are so beautiful,” “I really enjoy you,” “Thank you for a super sexy evening” – you get the idea). Other more risky things to say (which probably work best if this is someone you know or is your regular swinger play partner) would be to say something like, “I keep thinking about that [hot thing] we did last time you came over.” This moves us nicely onto the next point.
Change the tone of the conversation
Sort of along the same lines as above, another way to help move from flirting to playtime is to change the conversation’s tone, so it is a little sexier. It’s also an excellent way to get to know your potential play partner. You could ask them if swinging is something they have done regularly or if they have ever experimented with non-monogamy before. Or, if you know them a bit better, you could ask about what type of sex they are into or if they have any secret fantasies they’ve not had the chance to experience yet. Not only will this give the other person (or people) you are talking to the idea that you are thinking about taking things a bit further, but getting to know somebody on a deeper, more intimate level like this can be great for both (all?) of you later in the evening. And that secret fantasy they tell you about? Remember that. It might be fun to bring it up later in the evening.
Move a little closer
Whether you are on the sofa or bed or sitting around a table, shuffle slightly closer to them (it will make the next step a bit easier). If executed wrong, this can look creepy, so do it subtly. Ask if it’s okay to move nearer to them before you do if you feel it might look weird. Also, don’t do this somewhere like out for dinner. Moving your chair to the other side of the table will look odd. Instead, lean forward a bit. This achieves the same effect but without the awkwardness.
You could also suggest you move the party to the hot tub or pool. This creates an opportunity for clothes to start falling off and for all of you to get closer & more intimate with each other.
Get physical
If everything is still going in the direction of sexy bedtime fun, you could make a move to get physical. Before you do this, make sure there is no chance they may feel coerced into anything, are not under the influence, and are 100% able to consent.
When you feel like it might be time to ramp up the heat, you could gently touch their arm as you flirt. If you’re feeling bolder, you could ask something like, “Can I kiss you?” (we know it sounds a bit cheesy, but there is nothing hotter than clear, informed consent). Saying, “Your lips look so sweet & kissable, may I?” is a very hot and a great way to gain explicit consent.
This should also give you a good indicator if they are interested in taking things further – have they moved closer to you, are they smiling and keeping their body language open? These are all positive signs, but keep an eye out if they have become more rigid or closed in their body language or if they have recoiled from your touch. This means they are uncomfortable, and you should ask before taking things any further.
If you are uncomfortable making that physical first contact, try a sexy swinger game. There are many different fun options for you to choose from. These games give you all a good excuse to start letting the clothes drop to the floor and the flirty fingers start touching each other…after all, the game is making you do it. This is a great tool for shy swingers who have a hard time opening up.
Ask them
It’s time to stop beating around the bush (get it?) and actually ask the person or couple you have been flirting with if you would like to head to the bedroom. “Would you like to go to bed?” is direct and to the point, but if you’re too shy to say it directly, you could drop hints instead, like “Would you like to get naked, or should we grab another drink?” could also work. It gives them the chance to green-light sexy fun or choose a non-physical alternative.
If the person or people you are interested in are regular partners, you could also try something more daring, like taking off your shirt or asking if they’d like a massage.
And there you have it. It really is that simple on how you can move flirting into the sexy bedroom fun. It’s important to be careful when you start transitioning from flirting to playtime. You want to ensure the feelings are mutual, and you are not pressuring or rushing anyone into the bedroom if they don’t want to do that. If turned down, accept it graciously without making them feel guilty. Don’t probe for reasons. Respect their choice.
Hopefully, things will be reciprocated, though, and you’ll be well on your way to a night of steamy sex before you’ve even finished reading this article.