Not sure how to flirt with swingers to make your sexy dreams a reality? Relax. We have the perfect crash course in flirting to help you channel your inner Casanova. We will walk you through the different ways of flirting even if you are a super shy swinger. We are confident you can unlock your sexy inner charm!
Start At Home
Have you been in a relationship for such a long time that your flirting skills might have become rusty? That’s a shame because you should be regularly flirting with your special someone. Flirting helps to remind your special someone that you cherish them and still find them sexy as hell. Reminding each other of your love & desire is a great way to strengthen your own relationship and gives you an opportunity to practice your skills for when you meet new people. Go ahead and remind your special someone what you truly enjoy about them. Give them real compliments about specific things on a regular basis. Remember that a light touch goes a long way. The more love you give away, the more it comes flowing back to you. So make sure to voice the sweet & sexy things you are thinking to your special someone. None of us are mind readers so put your feelings into words & actions. The nicer your treat people outside of the bedroom, the naughtier things will get inside.
Looking your best and feeling confident will make it much easier to flirt. None of us are magically turning into supermodels and that’s ok because we already can look great if we make a few smart choices. Skipping the baggy casual clothes & going with tailored clothes that compliment our body is the first step. Stepping up our grooming game will also put a nice polish on our appearance. Spending a few extra minutes to look our best can greatly boost our confidence. Taking pride in our appearance is fundamental to a strong flirting game. Most flirting is non-verbal. Your body language will speak volumes for you. So make sure you feel confident & proud of your good looking self.
Make Them Smile
People like to smile and laugh so help make that happen and associate your self with these good feelings. Just be careful how you make them laugh. Making fun of someone else might come across as arrogant, insecure, or just plain mean. Making fun of yourself is ok in moderation but needs to be delicately handled. You don’t want to come across as seriously flawed or a potential problem to be avoided. You also don’t want to come across as someone who has to be the center of attention. If you make fun of yourself, do it about the fun, quirky parts of your personality. So don’t make jokes about being a serial killer (that can be really creepy) but you can joke about your love affair with polka dots or some other trivial matter.
Another great way to make people smile is to flatter them with compliments. Swingers often spend a good bit of effort looking their best and love to receive validation. Pick something specific and give them an honest compliment. This works extra well with guys. Who doesn’t like when someone notices all the hard work you put into your body & wardrobe? Guys usually don’t receive nearly as many compliments as women do so they may sometimes value them much more. Ladies love to hear that you think they have an incredible sense of humor, sexy smile, killer legs, smooth dance moves and all the other things you enjoy about them. Compliments are free so feel free to use plenty of them. Be generous with your compliments but make sure you are also being genuine. Let’s be honest, it feels good to have your ego stroked. Just remember to be specific so they know the compliment is real and you have thought about it.
Listening Is More Important than Speaking
There is a famous saying that we have one mouth & two ears so we should listen twice as much as we talk. Listening & paying attention to what they say is important. It provides valuable feedback to keep the flirting on the right track and avoid uncomfortable topics. If they respond positively to your flattering compliments, consider giving more of them. If they say you aren’t sincere or they are uncomfortable, then consider backing off the compliments and replace with something like “I’d love to hear more about you.” People tend to enjoy talking about themselves. Opening up the door for them to brag about themselves enables them to do the flirting for you. After they share what they like best about themselves you can confirm their opinions and build upon it. Listening shows your interest and demonstrates potential to be a good partner in bed who will respond to their needs. Remember two ears vs. one mouth. Make sure you listen & think before responding.
Avoid anything that is controversial or divisive. It doesn’t matter if you think they share the same political, religious, financial situation, health issue or whatever. Don’t touch any of those topics. They more often lead the conversation to a very unsexy place. If someone else brings it up, ignore the divisive topic and redirect the conversation by asking them a complimenting question. So if someone starts talking politics, respond by asking where they found that incredibly good looking outfit they are wearing. You are flattering them and moving the conversation back into safe place. From there you can talk about where to shop for sex toys or sexy vacations to wear these hot outfits and bring it back to a sexy place.
Boundaries Avoid Minefields
If your new friends bring up a topic that you don’t want to hear or says something that is unattractive to you, don’t be afraid to set up a boundary to keep them from going deeper into that minefield. Mistakes & misunderstandings happen. You can help your new friends from sabotaging their chances to have fun with you by saying you’d really prefer not to talk about that topic and would prefer talking about another topic. Make sure to give them a specific topic like where to vacation next or which club is the best. Don’t feel bad about voicing your comfort level or your boundaries. A good partner will greatly appreciate your assistance in not sabotaging their chances for sexy fun.
Right Type of Sexy
It’s no secret that swingers want to have sex. To make that a reality you probably want to be more sensual & less sleazy. Everyone is different but generally it is more successful to focus on innuendos and steer away from being vulgar. You can be explicit when you are playing naked. When you are trying to flirt with people to convince them into becoming naked, it is usually better to let their imagination do the heavy lifting. Instead of saying “I can’t wait to sit on your face”, try saying something more like “Your lips look incredibly kissable” or “your body makes that outfit look amazing”.
Make the First Move
You miss all the shots you don’t take, so go ahead and make the first move. It sounds scary but you can do this. Think of this less as flirting and more about being friendly and helpful. You can do this even if you feel shy. Just wave hello and smile. If its online, just send a message saying “Hi, we’re ____ and we liked your profile. We also like ____.” It’s that simple. Too many people wonder why they can’t find other swingers. If you reach out to other people, you will make new friends. Swingers are generally very friendly. Even very shy & nervous swingers are grateful when someone says hello to them. If we wanted to be alone we would not have joined the swinging lifestyle. So everyone on swinging sites and swinger clubs is open to making new friends. Make the first move and have no regrets. You don’t have to have do any sexy stuff with your new friends, you can just have a friendly chat. The friendlier you become & approach more people, the better your odds.
What to say?
If you don’t know how to start a conversation, then try complimenting them. People love specific compliments about them. Are they shy? Then ask them a specific open ended question aka not a yes/no question. Where did they find that great outfit? What is there favorite swinger party? How did they meet? How did they first get into the lifestyle?
Ever wonder why swingers love crazy costumes so much? It gives us a chance to wear conversation starting outfits. The crazier the outfit the more there is to talk about and compliment. You can sk other people how they like your costume, or your temporary tattoo, or your whatever else you want to use as a prop. Many swingers like to bring a special fancy cocktail to house parties and then offer to people. It can seem intimidating to approach a stranger but when you are handing out free booze, many new people will approach you and be thankful for meeting you. You can also bring a fun swinger game like a sexy version of Jenga and invite people to join you. Props are great way to break the ice and form new connections.
If you are shy you can still be a great flirter with just a few helpful adjustments. Start your flirting online and that will make it less intimidating than flirting with a stranger in real life. After you have been texting & emailing for a while you will feel a connection making the real life meeting less scary. When you do flirt in real life, use your shy & awkward feelings to your advantage. Being a little awkward is super cute and adorable to many sexy people. Shy flirters are much better at being chill and not too pushy which also attracts many sexy people. Being a little shy has many advantages so feel comfortable with using your natural personality.
How to flirt in your profile
Flirting via text is a bit harder than verbal flirting because people won’t hear the tone in your voice. Sarcasm and jokes can fall flat and come across poorly without the right delivery that you can provide if you were talking to someone. Be careful and read your message twice. Focus on positive aspects and skip the negatives in life. People don’t want to spend their free time with a complainer. They are looking to have fun so make sure you represent that aspect.
How to flirt online
When you attract some attention online you want to be careful with your flirting because a misunderstood text message or email can sink your chances. Since this is swinging and not singles dating, you probably want to keep the flirting to group messages. This avoids anyone feeling excluded or minimized. Steer clear of emojis. Yes, emojis are fun but not everyone has the same set of emojis installed on their phone and not everyone understands the innuendos. The safest approach is to use your words and save the emojis.
So what do you type to them? You can ask a flirty question like “what type of naughty fun do you prefer” or “why do your lips look so enchanting”. That is a good way to start a fun conversation. You can also ask them questions about themselves. Swinging is more about real life connection and less about anonymous online sexting so keep the conversation moving towards the real goal – to build just enough comfort & trust for a real life meeting for actual sexy fun. Make a connection & keep the conversation moving forward.
Do not send pictures of your junk. Remember back to when we were talking about the right type of sexy? That still applies. Most of the time it is better to show yourself in a hot workout outfit or sexy underwear and leave the big reveal to when you are in person.
Sidenote – just remember not everyone online tells the truth. Until you verify them in real life, keep up your guard and protect your naughty & embarrassing photos from potential troublemakers. This is a reason why many swingers won’t show their face & naked body in the same picture. On the flip side, act like you have seen another person naked before and don’t beg for their nudes. That is a red flag and can kill your chances of sexy fun. It’s ok to ask for a picture so you can have a general sense of their fitness & appearance but don’t whine about the pictures not being sexy enough for you.
When in doubt keep it fun. The more you flirt the better you become at it. So remember to practice with your special someone and remind them how much you love & lust them.