Swingers have a reputation for being flaky, and though it might be a bit well deserved, it’s probably not why you think it is. We aren’t saying swingers are bad or irresponsible people. Most of the swingers we have encountered are much nicer and responsible than the vanilla world. It is just that the swinging lifestyle creates some unique situations that can frustrate all of us. Remember, we are generally not talking about two single people with few responsibilities dating. Swinging is much more often four married people who are juggling work, family, and friends. There is just much more potential for a last-second emergency to cause plans to change or be canceled.
Most of the time, when another swinger couple flakes out, it probably has nothing to do with you. You might feel frustrated and angry but let go of the negativity and focus on the positive aspects like all of the future fun you and your special someone can enjoy in this sexy swinging lifestyle. So what can cause other swingers to flake on a date? Here are some issues that can create a last-minute cock-, er, roadblock.
- kid is sick
- babysitter cancels
- one of them is sick
- her period
- pulled muscle/bad back
- overly nervous newbies
- found out they are pregnant
- work emergency
- surprise family visit
- they are having an argument
- jealousy worries
- feeling depressed or self-conscious
- overworked/too tired
As you see, many, many things can pop-up unexpectedly to force the most responsible swingers to cancel or reschedule their plans.
There are also some things that you might have accidentally done to cause them to have doubts about meeting you. To increase your odds of connecting with real swingers, take care to avoid swinger pitfalls and don’t accidentally display these warning signs to them.
- Only one of you is communicating – They might worry you both aren’t totally on board.
- Being too aggressive or pushy – Swinging is about casual fun, not pressuring others.
- Being too slow to respond – They may wonder if you are not serious about connecting.
- Telling a lie/being untrustworthy – Makes them wonder if you lied about STIs or being discreet.
- Not appearing to be discreet enough – Privacy is critical to many swingers.
- Being overly sarcastic – Some people enjoy sarcasm; others view it in poor taste.
- Hurt feelings from overly blunt comments – Negativity isn’t in high demand.
- Suggesting your relationship isn’t stable – No one wants to invite outside drama into their relationship.
- Being judgmental – Remember, negativity isn’t in high demand.
- Insisting on expensive dates – Be confident enough not to flex your bankroll.
- Too hard to fit in your schedule – Swinging shouldn’t be stressful, so make it easy to connect.
- Sloppy emails or texts – Lazy isn’t usually seen as a sexy trait.
Even if nothing goes wrong on their side and you are totally charming, there are still many things that can block a sexy four-way connection from forming. These things are mostly out of your control, so you shouldn’t worry about them. We are just listing them to help explain how hard it is to build a sexy swinger connection and turn a potential meeting into a real-life play date.
- You are too far from them – They might not have enough time for long drives.
- Size preference – His, hers, or yours. We all have preferences.
- Height – Too tall or too short can lead to awkward/painful kissing positions.
- Mismatch of swinger grooming preferences – Again, we all have different preferences.
- Race or ethnicity – Unfortunately, some people hold strong biases.
Phew, that’s a lot of different ways our swinging connections might get sidetracked. We understand it can be very frustrating. That frustration can be made worse if the other swinger couple doesn’t feel comfortable being honest with you, or disappears like a ghost with no explanation. The good news is that there are plenty of good & sexy people in the lifestyle. If you relax, stay cool and keep a happy outlook, your sexy four-way connections will happen. Don’t waste your time complaining – it doesn’t help. Rather focus that time on building up your online profile, checking out the calendar of events at your local swinger club, or just doing something nice for the hottest person in the world – your own partner.