Swingers have a reputation for being flaky and though it might be a bit well deserved, it’s probably not why you think it is. We aren’t saying swingers are bad or irresponsible people. Most of the swingers we have encountered are much nicer and responsible than the vanilla world. It is just that the swinging lifestyle creates some unique situations that can frustrate all of us. Remember we are generally not talking about two single people with few responsibilities dating. Swinging is much more often four married people who are juggling work, family and friends. There is just much more potential for a last second emergency to cause plans to change or be canceled.
Remember most of the time when another swinger couple flakes out it probably has nothing to do with you. You might feel frustrated and angry but let go of the negativity and focus on the positive aspects like all of the future fun you and your special someone can enjoy in this sexy swinging lifestyle. So what can cause other swingers to flake on a date? Here are some issues that can create a last minute cock-, er, roadblock.
- kid is sick
- babysitter cancels
- one of them is sick
- her period
- pulled muscle/bad back
- overly nervous newbies
- found out they are pregnant
- work emergency
- surprise family visit
- they are having an argument
- elderly family in the hospital
- death in the family
- jealousy worries
- feeling depressed or self-conscious
- overworked/too tired
As you see, there are many, many things that can pop-up unexpectedly to force the most responsible swingers to cancel or reschedule their plans.
There are also some things that you might have accidentally done to cause them to have doubts about meeting you. To increase your odds of connecting with swingers take care to avoid these pitfalls.
- only one of you communicating
- being too aggressive or pushy
- being too slow to respond
- telling a lie/being untrustworthy
- not seeming discreet
- being overly sarcastic
- hurt feelings from overly blunt comments
- suggesting your relationship isn’t stable
- being judgmental
- insisting on expensive dates
- too hard to fit in your schedule
- sloppy emails or texts
- being defensive
- seeming to lack of empathy
Even if nothing goes wrong on their side and you are totally charming there are still many things that can block a sexy four way connection from forming. These things are mostly out of your control so you should’t worry about them. We are just listing them to help explain how hard it is to build a sexy swinger connection and turn a potential meeting into a real life play date.
- you are too far from them
- size preference (his, hers or yours)
- lack of eye contact
- mismatch of fitness level
- height (too tall or too short)
- mismatch of grooming preferences
- race or ethnicity – unfortunately, some people hold strong biases/”preferences”
- unsexy voice
- rough skin/callouses
Phew, that’s a lot of different ways our swinging connections might get sidetracked. We understand it can be very frustrating. That frustration can be made worse if the other swinger couple doesn’t feel comfortable enough to be honest with you or disappears like a ghost with no explanation. The good news is that there are plenty of good & sexy people in the lifestyle. If you just relax, stay cool and keep a happy outlook, your sexy four way connections will happen. Don’t waste your time complaining – it doesn’t help. Rather focus that time building up your online profile, checking out the calendar of events at your local swinger club or just doing something nice for the hottest person in the world – your own partner.