You are probably super nervous about your first time visiting a swingers club. Relax and read on. Swinger clubs are one of many the ways you can enjoy the lifestyle. Just like house parties, and regular vanilla bars & clubs, every swinger club is a little bit different.
What to Expect
Some swinger clubs don’t allow public nudity, a few are all nude and others have mixed areas. Swinger clubs usually have hospitality couples aka ambassador couples. They can give you a tour, explain the rules, show you were you can store your party supplies and introduce you to some regular attendees.
Many swinger clubs are BYOB since it is usually too much of a headache dealing with a liquor license for a sex club. The bar can be self-serve or they might be a bartender to handle your BYOB alcohol supply. If there is a bartender, it is nice to tip them each time they help you even if they are serving you your own alcohol. The bartenders can also help steer you towards other attendees that might be a good match for what you are seeking.
Swinger clubs come in all sizes & shapes. Imagine a night club but filled with friendly but nervous people showing plenty of skin as they compliment each other and act sexy without being judged. Your swinger club might have a handful of people attending or several hundreds of sexy people depending on the venue and weekend. They often have private play areas but sometimes they only have shared play areas. There is also a wide range of amenities depending on the club like indoor or outdoor swimming pools, hot tubs, sex dungeons, stripper poles, shower rooms, lockers, massage tables, and much more. You should do some online research to make sure you pick a swinger club that has just what you want.
Anyone that walks around politely smiling and saying hello will make new friends. These new friends are just friends – there is no need to sexually play with anyone. If you really like a new friend you can ask that couple if they are interested in playing with you.
Most couples do not separate at a swinger club. This is not a high pressure or “everyone fends for themselves” situation. This is more of a friendly party atmosphere with couples, who if the spark feels just right might get friskier than your craziest New Years Eve party.
Don’t worry, just because other people at the swinger club are inclined to play, it doesn’t mean you have to play. You can attend and be a wallflower enjoying the party vibe. If anyone approaches, you can politely let them know you aren’t playing that night. They will probably still want to chat with you if you don’t mind, because swingers are a friendly bunch. You are in the driver seat and control how much or how little you do at a swinger party.
You will probably see more skin than you have ever seen. Ladies in swinger clubs know they are in an appreciative environment so they tend to wear revealing outfits. You are likely to see a few ladies take their top off. If there is an open play area, you might even see some real life sex. You can appreciate the sexy views but please don’t stare too hard. You don’t want to seem desperate or creepy.
Swinger clubs follow the “No means no” rule. If anyone asks you, you can just say no thanks. There is never pressure to sexually play with anyone. Touching is not allowed without asking.
Your body language is going to speak loudly. If you feel uncomfortable, it is going to show and people will likely give you space. If you want to interact with people, you should be friendly and outgoing. You are going to get what you give. Even if people don’t match your sexy wish list, you should still be friendly and chat with them. You might find them to be sexier the more you talk or they might introduce you to their friends who are more sexually appealing to you.
You have the power to proceed as fast or as slow as you want. Relax and enjoy a fun time knowing that whatever happens you are guaranteed to go home with the sexiest person in the room – your own partner!
How to Prepare
Before you go to a swinger club you should talk with your partner and work together forming a plan. What are your rules & boundaries? Role play a few scenarios, asking each other how they want to handle each situation. This will help you both make sure to stay within your safe comfort zone and also tease your sexy minds. Make sure to only go as fast as the slowest partner. There is no reason to rush. The swinging lifestyle isn’t going away but if you aren’t careful to make each other feel secure & happy you time in the lifestyle can quickly come to an end. It is usually safer to go slower and do less than risk making a mistake.
To help you stay connected and ensure you are following the same game plan, create some secret signals & code words for “good” & “no good”. It is very common for a couple to excuse themselves to step aside and privately check in with each other. So frequently take timeouts during your time in the swinger club to make sure you are both ok with everything.
Pack a playbag with all the stuff you need for safer sex. It’s not fun to make a sexy connection and want to play but to realize you forgot to bring condoms or whatever else you need.
Go easy on the alcohol – both of you. Drinking too much, can lead to mistakes. You might miss your partner flashing the secret signal for needing help or you might accidental go past your agreed boundaries. Plus too much booze can greatly increase the chance of a guy having ED problems. Be smart and go easy with the booze.
Guys – you are all super virile and manly men! However the swinging lifestyle is probably nothing like you have ever attempted before. It is a super high pressure moment for men which is why most rookie men have trouble getting hard & staying hard their first few times. Go ahead and think its not going to happen but the odds are good that most rookies will have some trouble. Men are worried about pleasing a brand new lady they barely know while also being worried about their special lady being ok. Many men use Viagra or other ED meds to deal with this. If you are interested in ED meds, talk to a doctor.
Consider looking at the swinger club RSVP list on the swinging websites like SLS or Kasidie. If you see a couple you like, feel free to reach out to them and mention you are going to the same swinger club on the same night. If there is a mutual interest from them, you can start flirting before you even go to the club. Now you aren’t going to be alone at the couple but rather visiting friendly faces.
Just remember, no matter what happens you are going home with the sexiest person – your own partner. Think of this just as a sexy date with your special someone. If something extra happens – great. Worst case, you are going to have a sexy time with the person you love the most and that is an awesome worst case scenario. To have a very happy ending remember to honestly communicate with each other and follow your rules. Now go enjoy your first time at the swinger club!
If you want to read real swinger stories about their first time experience head over to our Swing & Tell section.