There is a plethora of options for you and your partner to explore when searching for a local pair of swingers to join you. And luckily, there are more ways to find them than just approaching attractive couples at a bar and hoping for the best. It may seem like there are no sexually adventurous couples where you live, but fear not! There are always swingers within reach, especially in the United States where the estimated number of swingers is in the millions.
The best option tends to be dedicated swinger dating sites. They are the most popular and effective way to find another couple in your area. They’re great because you can maintain your anonymity until you’re ready, and you can ease yourself into the lifestyle slowly, which might not be the case if you go directly to a clothing optional or BDSM party where you might be overwhelmed. Swingers sites are a much better option to find exactly what you’re looking for, as opposed to generic dating sites or mobile apps like Tinder, which are designed for individuals & not for couples.
Most swinger dating sites operate on paid membership subscriptions but are well reviewed and have millions of members. Though there are some fake sites trying to rip you off. Free websites do exist but are less frequented by real swingers because they are plagued with fake accounts trying to steal naked pictures. To protect yourself, use this list of popular swinger sites. It is sorted by city & state so you can find out what is best for your local area. The key to success with any swinger site is to make a strong swinger profile which attracts the right people and gives potential partners all the information they need about you upfront, so you can skip to the good stuff!
The swinger sites will list the local swinger clubs and their upcoming events. If you don’t want to join your local swinger site, you might have to do a bit of a deep dive into Google to find swinger clubs especially if you are in smaller cities. Sometimes the names are unassuming, like the Oasis Aqua Lounge in Toronto, which seems less likely to be a sex club than say, the Bovine Sex Club in the same city, which is definitely not a sex club… so it’s good to do a little research. You want to know what you’re in for when you arrive. Most clubs have themed nights which can include things like classy masquerade nights, naughty nurse nights, or the more hardcore fetish of bondage. Make sure you double check – you don’t want to turn up dressed for the wrong night!
Best keywords to use are: swingers, sex club, adult entertainment club (but this will turn up some strip clubs too), and even the straight-forward “swingers clubs near me” will do the trick if your location services are switched on on your device.
It’s important to note that if you’re a single man wanting to attend swing clubs, there may only be certain nights of the week that you can enter. Fewer single women (known as unicorns for their rarity) are interested in swinging on their own so this rule is to keep the balance between men and women in check. So definitely make sure you scan the club’s website for a list of rules and/or single’s nights.
Local Swingers Party
This is probably a tough option to nail for your first time swinging, as the swinger parties are usually held in someone’s home and are invite-only; sometimes there’s even a password! But the swinger community is a big one, and the more friends you make the easier it will be to acquire invitations to local parties. It’s definitely a great way to get acquainted with the lifestyle when you’re starting out, and to get to know the people in your area.
If you don’t know where to begin, it’s a good first step to make swinger friends through a local swinger dating site or your local swinger club and ask them for details about parties. They are likely to know where to find them, and will want to help you get on the list for the next event in your neighborhood. The more connections you make the better – it will (literally) open more doors.
If you’re worried about anonymity, definitely stay away from this option. It is too risky to link your Facebook profile to anything that includes the “swingers” title. Most groups of this nature will be “closed” and anything you post will only be visible to the members of the group – they won’t show up on your friend’s newsfeeds. Facebook will start suggesting other swingers to you & will suggest you to other swingers because Facebook knows you both like to swing. On the surface it seems helpful but it is a huge risk to your swinger privacy and has exposed many swingers. You never know, you might see some familiar faces. It’s very possible that you’ll find some of your Facebook friends are already in the group, and you can connect with them over your shared interest. If your job situation is sensitive to your swinging choices, you should avoid this option.
Old Fashioned Way
This won’t produce the highest success rate, but if you’re good at reading people you can try to find a couple out in the wild – at a bar or club. Some areas of your city and specific bars will be a more obvious choice to look when trying to find a couple. Always remember that most of the people there will be sexy but vanilla couples, and you shouldn’t go out with a high expectation. But if you get to chatting, you never know. You might even find a couple who has never tried swinging before, but you’re charming and good looking so they’ll be interested in going home with you anyway, right? A big issue with this option is that rookie swinging couples make mistakes. They might not be ready for this big step in their relationship and that could lead to serious drama in the bedroom.
We do not recommend swinging with your friends. It’s usually too risky because there’s no turning back. Once you’ve crossed the vanilla line, your relationship to the other couple will never be the same. And it can be pretty awkward when one couple wants to end the sexual relationship between pairs. Approaching your friends to suggest swinging can also be quite hard, because you run the risk of them not being interested in the lifestyle at all or not being interested in swinging with you and your partner. That can be quite awkward!
Can it work? Yes, but for many people the risk vs rewards do not make sense. It is usually much smarter to make friends out of swingers than to risk trying to make swingers out of your friends.
Swingers have been making it work and discretely finding partners to swap with for years & years, so there’s no doubt that you too can find the perfect pair for some sexy play! It might take a bit of work on your part but you can do this and while you’re waiting for that sexy connection you get to have hot fun with the sexiest person in your life – your own partner.