Interracial relationships have had a rough past. Up until 1967, interracial marriage was illegal in the United States. Although interracial marriage is now legal, a 2018 poll found that 17% of Americans still believe that interracial marriage is morally wrong.
So, with such a negative view of interracial marriages and interracial relationships in general, many new swingers wonder how being in an interracial relationship could impact their swinging. The good news is that swinging does not discriminate. Swinging is not just for one class, race, or background. If you are looking to explore interracial swinging, here are some things to keep in mind.
Swingers are generally open-minded
Swingers are known to be an open-minded community as they are often judged themselves. This is not to say that racism does not exist in the swinging lifestyle. The swinging community is made up of people from “the real world” and racism and prejudice do still exist, so it may be an issue in swinging especially when it comes to false penis size myths about Blacks and Asian men. The interesting thing is that the haters can be part of any race. No single race has a monopoly on hate but thankfully these haters are in a small minority.
Swingers often face stigmas and prejudices against them in society. So, many try not to have any prejudices against other people as they know how it feels. Depending on where you are, interracial swinging is quite common and accepted. Don’t let your race or your partner’s race stop you from swinging!
How swingers express their preferences
Whether you are a swinger or not, you probably have a “type” of person you are attracted to. This is not necessarily a bad thing as who we are attracted to is personal and varies from person to person.
Your type may simply be someone taller than you or someone with blonde hair. Some people’s type is certain races. Again, this is not necessarily a bad thing if you are looking at people as individuals rather than generalizing an entire race.
You can be attracted to any person from any race you want, but counting out a whole race of people before you have even seen a person of that race can be seen as offensive. Exploring your preferences without being offensive is a fine line to walk, but it is possible.
As race is one of the first things people can see when looking at someone, it is quite easy for a potential partner to decide whether they want to reach out to you or not and vice versa.
If you are on any online swinger dating websites, you may notice some profiles state that they are only looking for their own race or a specific race. This is not common and is generally frowned upon as it can come off badly. Thankfully the lifestyle does a good job helping people realize that sexiness can come in any shape, size, or skin color. New people to the lifestyle often discover that attraction can build as you get to know someone.
If a couple or individual approaches you and you are not attracted to them, you are not obligated to have any romantic or sexual relationship with them. Swingers can become friends too!
Fetishizing interracial swingers
Just as some people may prefer not to date or sleep with a certain race, some people specifically seek out a race. We are not talking about simply appreciating something as being sexy. An example of this is wanting to sleep with or swing only with black men as the false stereotype that black men have big penises persists. This is because people who fetishize a certain race may only care about the race and fulfilling their needs rather than the person underneath.
Having a sexual fetish is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be a slippery slope that quickly turns into racist thoughts which aren’t OK. It is not a good thing when we stop valuing the person and only consider skin color. None of us want to be treated as a piece of meat. OK, there is probably someone who has a meat fetish but swinging is best when we all are considerate of others and recognize everyone’s unique value and that includes Asians, Latinos, Blacks, and Caucasians.
How to navigate swinging as an interracial couple
If you are an interracial couple already in the swinging world, you may have experienced exclusion or have been fetishized already. If this puts you off from swinging or you are new to it, there are ways to navigate swinging as an interracial couple comfortably.
The number one way to do this is with open communication. Regularly check in with each other to make sure you are both OK and being treated the same way. If either of you doesn’t feel comfortable or notice a potential warning sign that someone might be trying to use you simply because of skin color, it is better to move on and not risk a bad situation.
Some couples might be open to fulfilling a fantasy or fetish and others can be looking for something more substantial. Talk with your partner to figure out what is best for your relationship. Coming to a communicated agreement on what you are both willing to accept from other people will again help you better navigate swinging.
Where to find interracial couples
If you prefer to swing with interracial couples (maybe you are one yourself), finding one doesn’t have to be difficult. Some lifestyle events are geared towards people of color and interracial couples (though still welcoming of all people). While this may seem excluding to other races, doing this creates a safe space for people of color that they may not be used to. To find these parties look on the calendar of events for your local swinger dating site.
Ultimately, the local swinging community is based on the local population. This means if you see a lot of interracial couples out and about where you live, the chances are higher that swinging events and dating apps or websites will also have interracial couples.
On the flip side, if you live in a predominantly homogeneous community, that will be reflected in your local swinging community. The beauty of online dating, swinging or not, is that you can meet people outside of your local community.
Another fun option to meet interracial swingers and people of all different backgrounds is to visit a swinger resort. These friendly melting pots of sexy people are a great way to discover new things. You might learn more about the widespread swinging lifestyle like how dogging is popular in the UK and how Middle Eastern swingers manage despite some draconian laws.
The take away here is that interracial swingers are just becoming more common, so if you are an interracial couple looking to explore swinging, try it! You will likely be welcomed with open arms. If you are looking to swing with an interracial couple, just politely reach out. There is no harm in trying to build a connection!