Ladies, you have endured & overcome so much to get to this point in your life that there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to enjoy the swinging lifestyle well after you go through menopause. It’s referred to as The Change for a good reason: many women find they have to re-learn a lot to best enjoy their post-menopause bodies. We hope this post helps you overcome any insecurities you may be feeling as you adjust to your bodily changes, and we hope the tips below boost your sexual enjoyment.
Freedom from the constant worry about an unplanned pregnancy is one of menopause’s greatest gifts. But don’t drop the condoms just yet. While you don’t have to worry about pregnancy, you still need to be concerned about STIs. Make sure to stay educated and make the best choices for yourself and your partner(s).
The State of Play survey found a large number of swingers are not regularly tested for STIs. If you are not certain about your play partners’ recent STI test results, it is safest to keep using condoms even though you aren’t worried about pregnancy.
With age comes decreased blood flow to some parts of our bodies. Unfortunately, this includes our lady parts, where lower blood flow often results in lower arousal and less lubrication. The good news is that this is a perfect reason to go shopping for new toys. Regularly using a vibrator helps improve the vascularity of your lady bits. This will help with lubrication, arousal and put a smile on your face. Let’s hear it for vascularity! We suggest trying the Womanizer Duo, one of our personal favorite toys. It is a little pricey, but you deserve it. You don’t want to short-change that vascularity, do you?
While you are shopping for toys, be sure also to check out the sex pillows & furniture. As we age, our joints can become weaker, and arthritis becomes a common issue. A sex pillow like those foam wedges can make your post-menopause sex life much more enjoyable. Figure out what works best for you & don’t be afraid to enlist some retail assistance to boost your bedroom fun.
A common physical challenge for post-menopausal swingers is vaginal dryness. Reduced hormone levels after menopause can result in less natural lubrication, making sexy time a painful experience. There are some fun and easy solutions to address this challenge.
The good news is that the more you enjoy yourself, the better your lady bits will adapt. So certainly enjoy your sexy toys & your special partners as much as you like but know that simply staying sexually active will probably not be enough help.
Our best advice: use lube & plenty of it! Thankfully, there is a wide assortment of lube to help out in all different situations. There are flavored lubes for oral fun, water-based lubes that won’t damage condoms, silicone lubes that can even perform well in water, warming lubricants to add extra sensation, and so many others. You will find different ones that will work much better for your own personal situation, so go and experiment as much as possible.
If your vaginal dryness is more severe, talk with your doctor about different prescription solutions.
Post-menopausal women can also experience issues with an overactive bladder resulting in some not-so-happy accidents. To address this situation, you can start by using Kegel exercises several times each day. In addition to strengthening your pelvic floor, which helps with bladder issues, Kegels help you flex your vagina at all the best moments to increase pleasure for you and your partner. Some other simple solutions are to add in a waterproof sex blanket (Liberator makes a great one, but it is expensive), or you can use the bathroom more frequently before your playtime to avoid carrying around the extra fluid.
Mentally Clearing The Way
As we age, it can become more of an issue juggling all of the challenges that life & our changing bodies throw our way. The challenges can seem overwhelming at times, so it is vital to take care of ourselves mentally.
To help de-stress, try adding yoga or tai-chi to your daily routine. These exercises will help melt away the stress so you can perform at your physical best. Plus, it will boost flexibility so you can keep exploring all of those crazy kama sutra sex positions. Couples yoga can be a great foreplay option for a swinger date.
Remember to be your own best advocate. Live in the moment. Stop comparing yourself to others or your past. Be present today. You don’t need to set a new world record for orgasms or sex partners. Simply enjoy your sexual opportunities in whatever way puts a smile on your face.
Give yourself permission to be your own person today without carrying around the baggage of yesterday. It is fine to change between soft or full swapping. It is fine to switch from swapping to only parallel play. You do you. Think about what will be most enjoyable and give yourself the freedom to enjoy it. For more information, check out the Wanderlust Swingers podcast episode about Ageless Sex, Hormones, Libido, Arousal in the Swingers Lifestyle.